Scared and hesitant

Hi; I've been on PC a while, though I don't post much. I've spent the last several years in therapy, accumulating diagnoses like Pokemon, until this past month when my marriage counselor referred me to a private t for dissociative episodes.

I now know I have some kind of dissociative disorder; not sure which yet, but one thing at a time. This diagnosis explains/encompasses all the past ones and makes so much more sense. But since learning about it, I feel like I've gotten more...fragmented, I guess. Or maybe I'm just noticing it more. I don't know. It's scary, though. I didn't realize how often I black out.

Anyway, thought I'd post and say hello. It's not often I feel brave enough to say something on here; best to go with it while I can.

Welcome to pc! No matter which dissociative diagnosis you are labeled with you will find many can relate here in this forum, please post as much as needed, ask questions, anything you need. This isn't something easily understood

I'm in a similar situation as you. I've experienced almost every dissociative symptom there is and have chronic issues with it. Be aware though that dissociation is often a symptom of other disorders too. Since this seems to be your major concern, that's probably not the case, but it might be worth looking into since you have other diagnoses.

I've also noticed that if I focus a lot on my dissociation it can stress me and sometimes make the time loss and feelings of unreality worse. Distractions are often helpful. Also, look into grounding techniques and find some that work for you. This was truly vital for me. Good luck!

Thank you for the welcome!

I only vaguely remember writing this, and didn't remember at all until a few minutes ago.

My t has been teaching me some grounding techniques. Unfortunately, I never know who/what part of me is in the sessions and I (we?) haven't been writing anything down. Sometimes I go in not knowing what we talked about at all.

I feel like there are different parts of me that are distinct but work together. Then other times I think it's "all in my head" (ha!). It's so hard to explain to the t. I can't even explain it to myself.

Welcome...my first reaction when reading your first post ....

was to tell you to relax though it can be stressful, upsetting and scary to find out you have a mental disorder, one thing about mental disorders...they dont get worse with diagnosis..like you stated diagnosis answers what has been going on for yrs. thats even more so with dissociative disorders..dissociative disorders dont become more fragmented with the addition of the diagnostic label.. if you calm down, take time to breath and keep trying use the grounding tools your treatment providers you may find your emotions are calming down, which will result in your feeling better.

After reading your second post


I thought...this is a positive, a plus... just being diagnosed and this posters internal system of alters already works together, that right there I feel is fantastic because it vastly shortens your path to healing..many people with dissociative type "parts" have to go through years and years of discord, fighting among the "parts" and yrs of establishing boundaries, rules and ways to work together before their "part" learn how to get along and work together. keep up the great work.

the second thing that jumps out at me in your post is the I(we?).... most people with dissociative disorders have their own preference already...some say I and some say we, there is no correct way of speaking/writing. its what ever you are most comfortable with. I guessing the **I*** is more comfortable for you since you wrote that first and then placed the ***we?*** afterwards in parentheses like an after thought of trying to do things right. its ok to refer to you and your internal system by I.

Dont worry about trying to figure out who is out when, if you have DID that will become clear for you as time goes on and you become more in control of things like grounding, knowing what causes you to dissociate, and are able to begin the deeper therapy work on your trauma, and knowing those traumatic memories that the parts are protecting for you, the reasons they came into being and what their jobs, purpose, reason for being is.

Hi. Thanks for posting, and welcome. Grounding techniques help me a lot when I remember to use them. I think that's a great place to start. I hope your T will be helpful to you.