I guess the holiday happened but I really wasn't a part of it. I wasn't even an observer in the background this time. "No one" was there. I was just along for the ride, experiencing the people, food, gifts...with total indifference. Nothing could get me to feel a part of this. Not even my grandson. There is not one emotion in my head. (I can't say for sure if that bothers me) It feels as though someone shut out the lights in my head and nothing is going on.
Has anyone experienced that? Is it a form of dissociation? I've never felt like this before.

Why the hell can't I delete my own stupid post? I don't want it here. No one will read it or give a ****. I don't give a ****. I'm done.
Somebody...some mod please get rid of this GD post.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

Why the hell can't I delete my own stupid post? I don't want it here. No one will read it or give a ****. I don't give a ****. I'm done.
Somebody...some mod please get rid of this GD post.

you can pm a moderator and they can remove your post for you. to answer your first post for some this is a dissociation problem for others medication can make this happen for others it can be any number of mental or physical health problems. it can even be something so simple as not getting enough sleep, not enough fluids, not eating correctly.

only your treatment providers can tell you why this happened to you.

for me sometimes the detached feelings was from my bipolar disorder, sometimes it was from my seasonal depression, sometimes it was a cold, flu, chicken pox, anemia, an ear infection, not eating correctly, not getting the sleep I needed... gosh I cant list all the things detached feelings was in me.

contact your treatment providers. they can answer why it is happening to you and how to treat it.

[silenthill]

Calista+12 i have done this be for,its okay really,just breath i'm sitting with you

[silenthill]

Calista+12 do remember some of the fun we all had on the another sit? do you think we could bring some of that on here, you know the fun stuff

[silenthill]

I care about you Calista+12 more then you will ever know

[silenthill]

Calista+12 this may sound dumb, but i all ways say this to my boys "Have i told you lately that i love you" and they say you just did, well Calista+12 have i told you that i love you lately

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

I guess the holiday happened but I really wasn't a part of it. I wasn't even an observer in the background this time. "No one" was there. I was just along for the ride, experiencing the people, food, gifts...with total indifference. Nothing could get me to feel a part of this. Not even my grandson. There is not one emotion in my head. (I can't say for sure if that bothers me) It feels as though someone shut out the lights in my head and nothing is going on.
Has anyone experienced that? Is it a form of dissociation? I've never felt like this before.

I have had a similar experience where I feel nothing, things are going on around me, but I am unable to connect. I don't feel like I am anyone in particular. For me it is like being in the space between. I have to believe there is a good reason for it. It does give me time to look around without reacting. And later on I make up for not being there by spending extra time with the people I love. For me I think it is triggered by something or someone. Maybe it is the holiday itself, the house, some other family members, I don't know. But there is a reason for it. Just make an effort on another day to take some time to spend with the people who make you feel good. That always makes me feel better.

Originally Posted by silenthill

Calista+12 do remember some of the fun we all had on the another sit? do you think we could bring some of that on here, you know the fun stuff

Yes I remember...we DID have fun.

Originally Posted by silenthill

Calista+12 this may sound dumb, but i all ways say this to my boys "Have i told you lately that i love you" and they say you just did, well Calista+12 have i told you that i love you lately

No...not dumb at all....It made me cry good tears

Originally Posted by silenthill

I care about you Calista+12 more then you will ever know

and I care so much for you also.

[LeafLace]

This is how I usually feel on holidays and any kind of celebration or public ceremony. If I can't deal and know that I have to behave, I shut down and go numb. I think it's alarming to other people sometimes but we must do what we must.

[Riverview]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

Yes I remember...we DID have fun.

http://rabbinathan.com/music_songs/M...pee%20song.mp3

[Riverview]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

Yes I remember...we DID have fun.

Yes we did have fun.

[Riverview]

I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you guys I hope you don't mine my previous posts. Just trying to bring a little bit of the fun we used to have. LOVE you guys! MOSTESTEST!

[optimize990h]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

I guess the holiday happened but I really wasn't a part of it. I wasn't even an observer in the background this time. "No one" was there. I was just along for the ride, experiencing the people, food, gifts...with total indifference. Nothing could get me to feel a part of this. Not even my grandson. There is not one emotion in my head. (I can't say for sure if that bothers me) It feels as though someone shut out the lights in my head and nothing is going on.
Has anyone experienced that? Is it a form of dissociation? I've never felt like this before.

I had a vacation that was like that. i used my public face until i was in hospital for part of my vacation. you are not alone! Huga!