Concerned with fragmenting

A question I have also asked myself alot lately is how do I keep fragmenting is it possible to fragment all the time like a choose your own adventure book? Or I aliken it to thinking there are multiple dimensions of me out there and wonder how their lives are doing? You know what I mean?

Im not 100% sure i know what you're asking, are you asking how you keep splitting? My t explained to me that often splits occur the same way as the first split, with trauma. Although trauma doesnt always cause another split, sometimes it does. If you are no longer dealing with trauma, youre not splitting anymore but may for years to come, find new parts you never knew of. Im guessing after the first split, when youre traumatized again and its too much for you and your part to handle you split again. I mean, we as human beings can only handle so much, and even our parts can only handle so much before they shut down like we did when they came out.

Sorry if i didnt understand or answer your question, im still sleepy

That is exactly what I meant. Thank you. I've had few big traumas and some constant consistent trauma (such as a living with a parent with BPD) that I can identify. I figured out what triggers me though, perceived humiliation, actual humiliation, guilt and people telling me that I'm wrong all the time. I just get so angry and it's like a massive compunction to cause maximum damage which then leaves me to pick up the pieces later.

Often, ive learned in my case at least, we arent aware of many things that happened (for DID patients) our minds as children are like swiss cheese, sometimes we can scrape the surface of our past but dont know all the details nor every blackout that entails. Only two months ago did i find out the possibility of sa from a family member i never considered an abuser. We can have a general idea of the trauma but until working with your parts and sometimes integration, we finally start to put the puzzle pieces together.

The way i often view it in my mind is like a rubber band. Imagine your mind is a rubber band. When you experience trauma the rubber band gets stretched but doesnt necessarily break. But when it gets stretched too far it snaps (and for the sake of my explination it breaks into two pieces.) Now these pieces can each take some stretching but eventually when yet again a piece is stretched too far, it snaps again and then you have 3 pieces. And it continues in this way. While the pieces can tollerate some stretching and pulling, when it gets to be too much, it breaks.

Our psyche, especially as children can only handle so much beforeit breaks. Im thankful in the way it split and blocked my memories as i would not be here if i knew all that had happened. Being raised by a mentally ill parent can certainly lead to trauma, especially if they are not being treated for their problems. Im sorry you went through so much

Not your fault mate, thank you though
I liked the metaphor of the rubber band that would be the best way to describe it. Thank you.
For me I remember the summary however after that I can not recall the events at all... the details are just blank, the lead up to the event and then its like beam me up scotty I can not recall any specifics.
My mother I remember completely because it was everyday however since she moved in I flashback alot and remember more and more stuff and think why did I allow her to live with me for. Ugh!!!

Hey, almost all my childhood is totally blank (can't remember) - someone told me that splitting is only done by very smart intellects and that it is a God giving ability to handle situations without going crazy.

Normally as adults - u don't keep splitting unless u keep having trama

crazy thing tho - I really hurt my foot (maybe broke it) but I didn't do anything but I think one of my parts did or had something happen to it - it is crazy to tell a nurse I don't remember how I hurt my foor and she looks at you so strangely. lol

hope this helps some

Here's one for you guys
Last year I was playing indoor soccer and I dislocated my right ankle.
It felt like time was slowed when I looked at my foot, I then grabbed it and relocated and reduced it myself within 5 secs.
No pain only twitching which is something I have seen when I've helped to reduce other peoples bones at work
I knew instinctually that it was out and people saw it and saw me do it and they could not believe though that I had reduced it myself
A doctor on our team saw me do it and I was saying I was fine and he said Lou go and get it xrayed because if you have a spiral fracture you can't work
So I went to my workplace a busy ED in QLD showed up and people looked at me and pretty much said I was either exagerating or lying. Xray was clear no fracture
I had so many people try to tell me it didn't happen that I began to doubt myself and got real pissy about it.
2 weeks later a female pt came in via ambulance with an avulsion dislocation of her right ankle I was on with the doctor who didn't believe me and assisted this lady.
She needed narcotics and relaxants her ankle was relocated after 15 mins of her arrival
She went for an xray and guess what? No fracture
I said to the doctor I was working with see I told you it can happen with nil fracture
He then had her ankle ct scanned to double check it and guess what no fracture.
I didn't doubt myself after that it made me think at the time how many people have dislocated their ankles and reduced in a panic and never got treatment?
This incident happened a year ago I didn't think I had a mental issue then
In hindsight I think the best question now is how many people out there have DID?
I believe you Designer 100% that that happened.
When I was being treated for my ankle I was not me in the sense that I didn't want anything to be wrong with my ankle and I acted that way however at the same time I wanted people to believe me that it actually happened
I had difficulty with my ankle, I couldn't rotate it without pain for 2 weeks until I was walking down some stairs and felt a deep pop in my right ankle and then I had full range of motion in my ankle again. .
Man I hate this