Dear DID

Or whatever you are, you are a royal pain in the butt. I hate you and the way that you switch on me and confuse people around me. I hate the way you take control. I wish you would give me a break and take a flying leap off a short pier. You are making my life into a train wreck.

Nobody understands you not even me. I can't talk about things to so many people cos they don't believe me or think I am lying or think that I am a joke.

So the loneliness grows deeper and deeper until I can't crawl out of it. You are a sick and perverted way of coping and you are nuts. Leave me alone. Pack your things with all of your nasty tricks a go play with some-one else's head.

I am just so everlastingly sick of you and your contortions and those weird voices. Go grunt in a damn piggery. Bray where the stupid mules are. Just #@#@# off.

Well said but realize that at some points in your life DID may have saved you from great emotional trauma. I'm sorry it sucks so much. Hugs

Yup, very true Pegs. Thanks for finding words to talk to me. Tantrum over now. Its strange that emotional trauma puts us here in the first place. Go figure.

Thanks for the hugs... you too Amandalouise and My Kids are Cool.

Possum tears welled up. You just found words to explain. Thanks for putting words to the feelings and it is true it caused life but sometimes just expressing the super-frustration of it all is valuable, even if momentary.

Thanks again!!!

Hi Hunny you are very welcome.

It sucks and blows all at the same time. Letting it out did help. I hope I have two days of rest before the grinding machine starts over again.
The whole deal is so frustrating.

Lovely to hear from you Hunny bun

Awe, (((((((((( possum )))))))))) I think you expressed yourself wonderfully and I'm so sorry that what you live with every single day is so difficult. You have every right to feel as you do.

I know that I can only validate and empathize with you. Being a singleton, the only way I can possibly relate to what you are saying is when I have a big decision to make and I have the right brain/left brain battles going on with all the possibilities/probabilities to the decision that I come up with. I know that is nowhere near what you and other DID'ers have to deal with regularly.

I do know that when I'm writing things out and/or talking about them it does seem to help. In the mean time, hold on tight possum....you can move forward!

Thank you for your support Sabby. I appreciate you. Each persons support means a lot to me. All people in PC struggle with very different scenarios. I wish you well in your decision making and with everything else.

Thanks for popping by and talking to me.

Possum, for you, I would do the pushing off the pier if I could. :

notz, yes I do believe you would........
Nice to know I have friends like you around.......

i am touched by what everyone wrote to possum and possum's response.
You really seem like you have made some connections here.
Sending kind thoughts.

Yes Bmee2 I have made some very precious connections here. Lovely people.
I think that on each of our journeys that we have learned to give back grace under pressure and compassion when others are in trouble. Humour is good too. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

Tomorrow is back to the real world. Trigger Land.

My stuffie Sebastian is coming with me.

Back to spasms and grunting and the other parts voices............

Where is that damn pier?

I'm there with a cane suitable for pushing