[FullOfEmpty]

I am curious. I often look at myself in the mirror, but as I stand there looking I do not recognize the person I see. I feel like the person I see is not the person behind my eyes staring into the mirror. I try to keep myself away from people because I do not feel I am the person that the people around me know. They know the picture me but not the book me, if that makes sense. I feel the person people see and the person I feel I am, and see are so far apart. It is like trying to put two of the same charged magnets together. They are right there, almost touching but never can or do.

Also, if I feel myself unable to manage a situation or feeling I tend to "space out" completely. On the rare occasion that I do manage to interact with people, I am not fully there with them mentally it seems. I am there physically but my mind and inner person is somewhere else. I can hear faint conversation but they do not register with my mind. It feels almost like I am only in my body or in control of my body a quarter of the time I am awake. Almost like autopilot mode kicks in a little bit after I wake each day.

I have sought professional help in the past, but not for this particular problem. I am kind of afraid to persue treatment, because I do not want to risk my near future career. However, I would like some opinions on what this might be signs of or what, if anything, I can do.

[shortandcute]

Oh wow--that is exactly what I go through. I would go ahead and talk to your T about it. I know that's easier said than done, tho.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by FullOfEmpty

I am curious. I often look at myself in the mirror, but as I stand there looking I do not recognize the person I see. I feel like the person I see is not the person behind my eyes staring into the mirror. I try to keep myself away from people because I do not feel I am the person that the people around me know. They know the picture me but not the book me, if that makes sense. I feel the person people see and the person I feel I am, and see are so far apart. It is like trying to put two of the same charged magnets together. They are right there, almost touching but never can or do.

Also, if I feel myself unable to manage a situation or feeling I tend to "space out" completely. On the rare occasion that I do manage to interact with people, I am not fully there with them mentally it seems. I am there physically but my mind and inner person is somewhere else. I can hear faint conversation but they do not register with my mind. It feels almost like I am only in my body or in control of my body a quarter of the time I am awake. Almost like autopilot mode kicks in a little bit after I wake each day.

I have sought professional help in the past, but not for this particular problem. I am kind of afraid to persue treatment, because I do not want to risk my near future career. However, I would like some opinions on what this might be signs of or what, if anything, I can do.

I am so sorry you are feeling like this right now.. I cant diagnose you but I can tell you that the things you have posted happens to many people even normal people who do not have any mental disorders.for example I read your past post that says you are depressed and havent seen your daughter in three years. grief/not having some one we love in our lives will cause someone to feel like the way you do, so does depression, as does many other things. I know someone who is questioning her identity, looks in the mirror and feels the image reflected back doesnt show her true self because of hurricane sandy she lost her home, clothes and everything materialistic that she felt defined who she was. I know someone else who lost their job and now has the same feelings you wrote about, Im pregnant. and how my body is changing has affected how I think about myself as a human being, and who i am. when I look in the mirror whats reflected back to me is of who and what I am at this moment a pregnant lady full of hormones and fluid that is not the normal me of my thoughts and who was reflected back to me before I was pregnant. I also felt this way when ever someone rejected me because I am a lesbian. I have also felt like this because of medications, my MS, my seasonal depression... gosh even not getting enough sleep of food has caused me to have these kinds of feelings..I know someone who is bipolar and feels the way you do, I know someone who has PTSD and feeling the way you do. Just about every mental and physical health problem and normal issues too have elements of identity issues like this.

my point is mental health treatment providers, medical doctors deal with many different kinds of identity issues in all kinds of people..its kind of what makes up their work day sometimes so they pretty much expect that their clients have identity issues sometimes. so please get treatment for this. the answer to helping you to feel better may be as simple as a change win medications or a change with your existing medications if you are taking anything right now.

by the way did you know that people normally do show the world a different person than they feel they really are.. for example I show those at work the professional side of me, when Im at home with my wife I show the more personal and intimate part of me, when I am with my sisters and brothers they see the sibling me, when I am at a social function they see the social part of me. my therapist tells me that its completely normal for people to not show who they think they are inside to the outside world. its how the human brain works, it takes in information, analyses it and sends out hormones and electrical impulses that tell us how to act and who to be when in a given situation. our human brains learn how to do this from birth according to our environment, instincts and how our parents teach us how to behave in church, teachers teach us how to act and behave and whats expected at school. even college life a person watches and learns from peers, instructors and the college rules that dictate who and how a college student should be, and its most times differently than who and what we are on the inside..

so you see again identity issues is something that happens to everyone so please dont let your fears of it prevent you from seeking treatment.

treatment for identity issues is pretty much the same no matter what is causing them.. talking things over with someone until you feel better.

the spacing off.. well again spacing off is one of those things that happens to a person who is normal and with people who have all kinds of issues like not having someone they love in their life/grief/ depression and any number of other problems. if you google it you will find thousands and thousands of normal, medical and mental things that cause a person to space off. so again what is causing this for you may actually have an easy and simple solution. so please if you feel you need treatment for this contact a treatment provider.