[TheAlliance]

My Mother-In-Law has been in a hospital or in a nursing home since May 2012. She was just Hospitalized again with Sepsis. When we went to visit her in the hospital she lashed out at my husband and I saying that we don't want to help her or take care of her. Really angry with us for being at the nursing home, saying we should be willing to take care of her. Problem is that she has numerous medical problems since her stroke. My husband and I don't think we are qualified to be caring for her. My altars are really shook up, we thought we were doing what is best for her, inside we are hurt and confused, and Phantom is really angry. We just feel very tense and wanting for the first time in a long time to cut ourselves. Someone inside is very sad just keep feeling like crying.
The Alliance

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by TheAlliance

My Mother-In-Law has been in a hospital or in a nursing home since May 2012. She was just Hospitalized again with Sepsis. When we went to visit her in the hospital she lashed out at my husband and I saying that we don't want to help her or take care of her. Really angry with us for being at the nursing home, saying we should be willing to take care of her. Problem is that she has numerous medical problems since her stroke. My husband and I don't think we are qualified to be caring for her. My altars are really shook up, we thought we were doing what is best for her, inside we are hurt and confused, and Phantom is really angry. We just feel very tense and wanting for the first time in a long time to cut ourselves. Someone inside is very sad just keep feeling like crying.
The Alliance

I think it would be better to cry than to cut. Your mother inlaw is in a bad place right now. She is most likely scared so she lashed out. I would wait a few days and visit her again. She may still be upset but I would give her leway to express herself at a time when she is so sick. People we love or try to help don't always say what we would like them to. They don't always see why something is best for them. That doesn't mean you and your husband have done anything wrong. In fact it sounds like she is in the best place for her health conditions. It is difficult to do but don't take it personal. They are her health issues and that is not your fault. Feel better

[possum220]

Your mother in law unwell and is in the best place she can be. Most likely she is scared and lashing out at family. No. it isn't fair. Maybe she is also that an infection that is affecting her brain. Anti biotics may help. If your mother in law is going to be rude then take a break. You don't need it.

The family has done what is has needed to and you do not need to feel guilty. Taking care of yourself is just as important. Take time out to do something that will make you feel good. Maybe others have more ideas. Please be kind to yourself.