[Voyager72]

Periodicall, I sense that I am back living at some earlier point in my life. The feeling is very real although I remain fully aware of my present place, time etc. It is somewhat similar to what one experiences waking up from a dream yet the feeling state is that I am now back at an earlier time.

If this "shift" places me as a child just finished riding my bicycle sometime in the past, then I feel I could ssimply walk over to my friend's and play a game. It is important to note that this is far more "experiential" than simply remembering; I actually feel the change in time and place.

I have been struggling with all the usual demons of depression for over 30 years. When I experience one of these "time shifts", I feel like I've come out of a bad dream, that being depression and I feel like a new person.

Because of the way this experience presents, I am curious to know if this is some form of dissociative disorder.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Voyager72

Periodicall, I sense that I am back living at some earlier point in my life. The feeling is very real although I remain fully aware of my present place, time etc. It is somewhat similar to what one experiences waking up from a dream yet the feeling state is that I am now back at an earlier time.

If this "shift" places me as a child just finished riding my bicycle sometime in the past, then I feel I could ssimply walk over to my friend's and play a game. It is important to note that this is far more "experiential" than simply remembering; I actually feel the change in time and place.

I have been struggling with all the usual demons of depression for over 30 years. When I experience one of these "time shifts", I feel like I've come out of a bad dream, that being depression and I feel like a new person.

Because of the way this experience presents, I am curious to know if this is some form of dissociative disorder.

it could be just about anything. here where I live and work in NY this kind of thing with in ***me*** is called many different things depending upon other accompanying symptoms...

deja vu
psychosis
psychotic episode
normal
dissociation
hallucination
delusion
paranormal
sleep deprivation
lucid dreaming

and many other medical and mental health issues.

the best way to find out what this is with in you is by contacting a treatment provider (medical doctor, therapist, psychiatrist) in your off line location.

do you see a therapist- and if so have you told them about it?

from what you've explained, sounds like it could be possible

[Voyager72]

Thanks for the laundry list of possibilities. It will help me sleep better.

Seriously though, it's somewhat like Deja Vu, except that it's not like "I've been here before", but rather "I AM where I've been before". Again, I KNOW the reality of where I am and what date it is, etc., but it doesn't FEEL that way. Whatever the dynamic is, it brings me into a good state, free of all my usual depressive self-talk and negativity. It is shortlived, though and seem's to pass readily.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

it could be just about anything. here where I live and work in NY this kind of thing with in ***me*** is called many different things depending upon other accompanying symptoms...

deja vu
psychosis
psychotic episode
normal
dissociation
hallucination
delusion
paranormal
sleep deprivation
lucid dreaming

and many other medical and mental health issues.

the best way to find out what this is with in you is by contacting a treatment provider (medical doctor, therapist, psychiatrist) in your off line location.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Voyager72

Thanks for the laundry list of possibilities. It will help me sleep better.

Seriously though, it's somewhat like Deja Vu, except that it's not like "I've been here before", but rather "I AM where I've been before". Again, I KNOW the reality of where I am and what date it is, etc., but it doesn't FEEL that way. Whatever the dynamic is, it brings me into a good state, free of all my usual depressive self-talk and negativity. It is shortlived, though and seem's to pass readily.

glad you had a sense of humor about the "laundry list". I include the list because when I dont the poster replies back to me asking for a list because they didnt want a diagnosis but did want some ideas of what their problem is.

trying to balance the sites rule of not making a diagnosis but helping the poster by giving an idea of what symptoms can be is a tricky thing sometimes. I get all kinds of feedback from the members about my posts...we cant talk about the pm's because doing that is against the rules but just on the boards the feedback has included...

clicking on the thanks button.
telling me thanks
telling me they like that I included ideas for them to look into

you word it this way and this person thinks you are diagnosing them.
you word it that way and this person thinks you are telling the poster they have to be the way you are
you word it this other way this person thinks you are being rude, offensive, too blunt, .....
you word it that way and someone believes you are telling them they dont have something.
you word it this way and ....

the list is endless of positive and negative feedback I have received.

so what I do is remain on moderation so that the moderators can help me when needed and we word my posts in a way that best helps the community of members as a collective whole.

since a majority of the feedback I receive is in favor of my including a "Laundry list" of sorts I include it and include wording my posts to show this list applies to me, the treatment providers in my location and those I work with.

I also include the wording of some kind or another that says to find out what the poster has they need to contact their own treatment providers. I do that because my posts are not meant to be taken as a diagnosis for or against what the poser may have.. only a persons own treatment providers can make a diagnosis not me, here online.

which brings me to another idea for the laundry list.. sometimes when this has happened to me ...reliving a past event, past time... my treatment providers have called it having flashbacks.

[crystal lady]

That happens to me a lot, especially in the evening, or before bedtime. It's a bit like the feeling of deja vu, except that it is an actual memory, like just walking down a street or something, and it's super vivid and real feeling. I've never thought to ask my T what this is because I just assumed it was a part of PTSD and DID; with neural pathways and memory storage being different from others, and because it is very much like a PTSD flashback except it's not a negative memory; it makes me feel really good.

That happens to me a lot too.... It is a really weird feeling.

[Voyager72]

Originally Posted by crystal lady

That happens to me a lot, especially in the evening, or before bedtime. It's a bit like the feeling of deja vu, except that it is an actual memory, like just walking down a street or something, and it's super vivid and real feeling. I've never thought to ask my T what this is because I just assumed it was a part of PTSD and DID; with neural pathways and memory storage being different from others, and because it is very much like a PTSD flashback except it's not a negative memory; it makes me feel really good.

That's another good way of putting it. It is a good feeling and I never lose my sense of place , but the feeling is so real it plays with my sense of what actually is reality.

I have recently been experimenting with "willing" my self to an earlier place and time and have had some limited success. It is not as vivid or deep as when it just "pops' into my head, but it does seem to be somewhat attainable. Still wonder what it actually is.

[-jimi-]

Memory is a strange thing. I have a very strange kind of memory, I'm told I am the memory master. I have very detailed memory, people ask me about events and I can bring them forward with quite a good accuracy. People often tell me they cannot imagine I remembered that.

What those people don't see is that my memory is very hollow and detached. Detailed it can be. But it has absolutely no emotion to it. And when I come to think of it, it has no life. It is like a not very personal snapshot in time.

I think because I'm used to memory being that way, I'm not mentally set for anything else. I can feel a sense of overload just from everything I remember.

So when I remember something life like, it becomes like a flashback. It feels like I'm there. And it scares me in a way because I feel I'm that age and have come no further in life and for some odd reason that just scares the heck out of me. I feel the thereness so strong.

In the past, only music could bring me back. I had to stop listening to some music that I listened a lot to during certain eras in my life. Because it warped me back. But it was just those times and overall I viewed myself as having a very hollow memory.

These days more things come to life of my memories. For some reason it is scary and feels horrible. Just because it is so life like.

Maybe part of the fear is that I never had emotional memories so I'm not at all used to them.

Maybe my brain finally matured for me to have memories that feel more alive. I have matured in other ways late in life.

For me, I suspect it has something to do with being a spectrum person. I don't have any trauma or anything like that. Still, just the process of memory is very interesting. And sometimes scary.

[jax01]

Just wanted to add a "me too!"
I have a lot of experiences similar to this. I always have. and some that are stranger.

I really would like to step into one of those memories, and stay there.