Little one keeps coming out

I don't know what to do, one my little ones keeps coming out, it's been every day for I don't know how long. My mom has been sitting with me when I'm trying to go to sleep, so that is how I know she's been coming out. It's always when I'm trying to go to sleep it seems like. Do I need to do something to try to keep this from happening, is it even possible? or do I just let it happen?

Then I have this other part who keeps coming out and she wants to do something. I can't say what that is, I can't say that word. My T has tryed to calm this down by talking with her, it worked for awhile but now it's not.

Are there any suggestions? I'm really really lost and getting so tired of all this.

Jennifer

Yes it is possible.

Basically what makes memory pieces (alters) replay (come out) is triggers. There is something in your present life that is matching in some way to that memory content.

To stop it from happeing you need to locate the trigger.

To locate the trigger you need to know what that memory content is and the last thing you remember before dissociating to the point where the memory is repaying.

I do this by using a dissociation log -

date _______
Time_______
First thing noticed __________
Last thing remembered_________
Approximate time loss_____________

The date is the date you are filling in the log and date that the situation happened.

Time is the approximate time that you dissociated and or the time at which you are filling in the log

First thing noticed is what you are doing feeling saying and so on at the moment that you become aware

last thing remembered is what was going on right before you dissociated.

approximate time loss is the amount of time you were dissociated.

The trigger can be found in the catagory of - last thing remembered.

If this was me I would look at -

the time I am going to bed.
if this is happening on a specific day pattern
if there is something in the present time room that matches with the past memory content.
If the mother is saying or doing something that matches with the memory content
Experimenting with sleeping with the light on vs light off
changing bed time
changing room furniture arrangement
write a journal entry before going to sleep
eat something light so that I am not going to bed on and empty stomach in case it is hunger that is matching with the memory content
put in place a relaxing routine before actually going to bed

As for the alter wanting to do something. the dissociation log works for this too. because alters are trigger related. locate the trigger locates the reason why when you are acting out that memory content you want to do something.

As for the immediate how to take care of the problem so that you don't hurt yourself what acting out the memory content. You need to talk to your therapist for that. There is a way that therapists handle deactivating the harmful behavior but I don't know completely what it invovles.

I have a violent memory piece. when I got triggered into replaying and acting out that memory content I threw a table at my therapist. When I contacted professionals to find out how to stop that I was told the immediate solution is not disclosed to the general public. Therapists work with clients to become less dissociative and the specific process used for deactivating such things as my throwing a table involves the therapist triggering the person repeatedly back into that harmful piece of memory and following a protocal that basically adds to that memory content a stop sign so to speak. and this has to be done with each and every known piece of memory so that no matter what frame of mind I was in that "stop sign" so to speak was now contained within that piece of memory.

Since I wasn't told the process I can tell you only from going through it that one day my therapist SKR kept trying toget me mad. I kept changing the subject and everything else I could think of to not talk about anything that made me feel the least bit upset. Finally she told me to "knock it off". we had to get past that situation of my throwing the table or we could not remain a therapy team. She was going to make me mad even if she had to call in her supervisor to hellp her because no matter who I saw this is what had to be done to make sure I did not throw any more tables. If I threw any more tables during therapy the agency had no choice but to have me put in the local mental health unit where they would do this with me. Being I had been on mental health units before I knew hospital protocal for violence involved being restrained to a bed. So I stopped fighting what SKR was trying to do - make me feel mad and trigger me into that piece of memory. SKR knew me very well and was able to trigger me, I was soon off floating in my mental safe place and she was doing what she had to do. when I came back She told me that she had triggered me into more than one alter and now throwing tables will never happen again. Its been 3 years since then and I have been triggered, to many times to count , into that memory piece during which I had thrown the table that day and it has not happened since going through the process for deactivating that action.

So basically you need to talk to your therapist and let her upset you and force you into every known alter and then she will do I don't know what to deactivate the "something" that you are doing when you act out that piece of memory. She won't be able to tell you how she is going to do the process because that is only told to professionals but once she does it you will never be able to do that "something" again when acting out of ANY memories.

(((((((((((( Jennifer )))))))))))

Maybe you need to talk to your t again. Maybe he can help you settle some.

Hugs,

Jan

From my own personal experience with 15 alters ----- some of the little ones just wanted to know that someone cared for them and that they were finally safe. I reassured them often.....

Have you tried talking to them like you would with any other person who was upset or angry? Do you personally try to calm them your self..... in times of calm? Do you have a mental safe place they can go to and learn to be secure in when they are there..... and have fun activities for them to participate in when in the safe place?

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I've tried to talk to them some but it never really seems to work. I think you are right though, I think they just want to know someone cares. I don't have a mental safe place yet, but I know that I should. I don't know. Oh, I just want to give up. But I know that isn't the answer either, ignoring does not help any. That's what my therapist keeps saying.

You can find examples of mental safe places on my blog. You may not know you have one but ALL dissociatives have them sometimes they dont realize what they are experiencing is a mental safe place for example

All dissociatives get to feeling far away and floaty in a tunnel like area. Thats a mental safe place.

Some people have "rooms" or "worlds" where they go beyond the tunnel area.

Any thing (anywhere) the person uses (goes) to mentally escape the present situation is considered a mental safe place.

You can find more information about this and other DID information on my blog.

I have things littles can do when they are out. I have a small room under my stairs that has crayons, paper, paints, playdoh, dolls, stuffies, blankets and other toys.
They know they are safe in there and can play or draw or whatever. Ther are even soft pillows so they can sleep if they want.
I don't try to stop them from coming out. Vicki takes care of them inside now and she keeps them from coming out when it isn't safe. Before she began doing that, I was always afraid they'd come out in unsafe places--which they did sometimes.
If you have someone inside that can keep them safe inside that is really good.
w_i