[wishIwouldchange]

Hello,

New to this kind of thing, posting online or anything like this. I have dealt with D.I.D., for what seems like all my life, but was diagnosed about 5 years ago. Having the diagnoses seems like it makes people think I am weak, or like it is a character flaw. I personally struggle with that myself. I want to be whole, one thought in my head, one person always present.

If I have to be more than that, I want to know healing can happen. Hopefully it can happen without a therapist, because I'm not sure I trust them any more.

I do wonder, what if they are wrong? What if I am not truly D.I.D.? Except I hear inside that isn't true. I have understood through therapy that I was massively hurt as a younger person, but how do I get over that. I hear it, but just want to say, "Ok, now what?"

I have been told that I do not express or feel enough emotions, but in my mind some emotions are weakness too.

I'm sorry if it was a lot of rambling. I do have a lot of thoughts going through my head!!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by wishIwouldchange

Hello,

New to this kind of thing, posting online or anything like this. I have dealt with D.I.D., for what seems like all my life, but was diagnosed about 5 years ago. Having the diagnoses seems like it makes people think I am weak, or like it is a character flaw. I personally struggle with that myself. I want to be whole, one thought in my head, one person always present.

If I have to be more than that, I want to know healing can happen. Hopefully it can happen without a therapist, because I'm not sure I trust them any more.

I do wonder, what if they are wrong? What if I am not truly D.I.D.? Except I hear inside that isn't true. I have understood through therapy that I was massively hurt as a younger person, but how do I get over that. I hear it, but just want to say, "Ok, now what?"

I have been told that I do not express or feel enough emotions, but in my mind some emotions are weakness too.

I'm sorry if it was a lot of rambling. I do have a lot of thoughts going through my head!!

welcome to psych central.....

what if they are wrong? .... it rarely happens but I do know some people who were wrongly diagnosed with DID. if they are wrong it will show up as not being your correct diagnosis later on down the road...

getting a diagnosis just means that when you were tested, your answers and all the test reports matched the diagnostic criteria for having DID in your location.

just like if you went in to a medical doctors office complaining of a stuffy nose, coughing, and feeling miserable the doctors first choice is you have a cold or allergies. if its a cold in about 7 days you will feel better, if its not a cold well time will show whether its a cold or allergies.

sometimes it does take a bit of time to get the correct diagnosis. So what treatment providers do is they evaluate to see which symptoms match the closest to what disorder. and then let time tell whether that diagnosis is the correct one.

at the moment you were evaluated everything pointed your treatment providers towards the diagnosis of DID and later on it may turn out that your symptoms are something different that is very similar to having DID. only time can tell.

you not wanting to believe it...guess what thats a normal reaction to getting diagnosed with anything.. people dont normally want to have any mental illness so when a big long worded diagnosis comes up the brains reaction is shock and disbelief.. in therapy terms its called denial. and thats ok. in time your head will get used to the fancy label and be able to move beyond the shock and disbelief stage on to focusing on healing your symptoms and not worrying so much about what all the symptoms add up to be.

if its DID will it get better without a therapist... I do know of a rare few that have gotten better mostly on their own but I know more people that healed faster and easier because they had a therapist (and some have a psychiatrist too) to help them. maybe you can give working with your therapist a try and then later if things dont work out with this therapist you can choose another one or give it a try on your own.

yes I agree sometimes getting diagnosed can cause lots of confusion and the need to ramble and sort things out.

again welcome to psych central.