I am having alot of trouble IRL lately with referring to myselves as we.

Thats not an issue when im around here, but at work and elsewhere it becomes an issue because I say things like, "sure, we'll drop that off at the end of the day" and then of course I get either some off hand joke about having multiple personalities - oh, if they only knew.

Anyone else have problems with this

[__zh]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rainbowzz said:
I am having alot of trouble IRL lately with referring to myselves as we.

Thats not an issue when im around here, but at work and elsewhere it becomes an issue because I say things like, "sure, we'll drop that off at the end of the day" and then of course I get either some off hand joke about having multiple personalities - oh, if they only knew.

Anyone else have problems with this

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> since we made a conscious effort to write in the plural last year around this time there has been a dramatic shift in inner commmunication. with that being a positive thing we really don't give a fig what others think.

sure there are those who look at us funny when "we" slips past our lips but that's NOT OUR PROBLEM!

we've enough to handle in life w/o taking on what others are thinking, potential thoughts and the like. of course this is easier now that our major depression is medically controlled and we are medication and therapy compliant which helps the irrational looped thinking that comes about when we're more depressed or anxious. we're sure we'd be much more concerned with what others may or may not be thinking if we weren't taking better self/selves care and utilizing the help available to us from our support team of professionals and personal friends.

as for problem? only a problem if it is allowed to become one. foooey to other ppl who cannot or willnot expand their minds enough to include trauma survivors who were creative enough to survive by extreme dissociative experiences.

not everyone will understand or wants to. finding out sooner who those ppl are and shedding them from one's life can help.

as for the "jokes" about multiple personalities.........test the waters with a serious answer about trauma when a joke arises again.......see how funny they find it then. if they're intelligent and compassionate they'll quickly see the error of their ways and chalk up multiple jokes with other such stale unfunny ones as handicapped, racial, ethnic, etc. just no place for that kind of humour in the workplace or around mixed company.

[OneAndMany]

Yes, I've had trouble with this too. For me, I stopped saying "we" when my mother said "who are you, the Queen of England? you are not a royal "we" so stop saying that". And being young and submissive, I did stop saying it. Didn't stop thinking it.

It is just in the recent past when I have acknowledged being DID to my husband that I have allowed myself to say "we" in front of him. And sometimes now it will slip out without thinking. I'm really not sure how to handle it either. I don't think I'm brave enough (or maybe healed enough?) to be out there IRL with DID.

Elizabeth

A friend and I ham it up doing renditions of Tim Allens charecter in the movie "all of me". We also joke about - Now who's in la la land? when one of us (my friend or I) forget something important. She knows I am DID. She doesn't do it because she is trying to hurt me.

We do it because I have learned that if you don't try to find the humor in things then those problems associated with DID can overwhelm me.

For example today while on the phone with a friend I rolled over in bed and found my face smack in a bowl of Chicken noodle soup.

sure I can get all upset about it but when the yelling and so on is done I still have to clean up the mess and take a shower so hey why not find the humor in it -

I have a friend on the phone chicken soup on my face my cat is chasing rivers of chicken soup in the creases of my air mattress what do I do start playing in it with my cat by grabbing a noodle off my face and dragging it around for him and saying to my friend on the phone - guess I don't need a mud pack conditioning today, my skin is now as smooth as a new born baby. and she said no but not to forget the cold cream. I told her back - all natural and fresh churned bryers vanilla bean on ice right now.

Im the same way when it comes to when I accidentally say the word we. A friend and I banter back and forth doing Tim Allen - Lilly Tomlin rendition from the movie "all of me"

for the most part though no one who has been in my life for any amount of time - co workers, bosses, friends, family. they are all used to me saying we because I have always said "we". It wasn't like one day I woke up and out of the blue called myself "we" after I was diagnosed with DID. I did it before I knew there was a name for what I have, My youngest age reference for m emory pieces is a drawing with the age of 5 marked on it, so I know I have been DID since the age of 5 so I have been referring to myself as "we" since that age also. So my referring to myself as we is nothing new to those who know me.I get more problems with people starting and guestioning my comments of we and so on when for example I am on a bus or at the city bus station, the local library and so on from people who have never met me. So I took to wearing my walkman regardless of if I had it turned on or not. that way when people who don't know me hear something that doesn't sound right like my referring to me as we when out in public, they think I am just repeating a word in a song. But in general I have noticed that even non DID people refer to the word - we. For example Ive had shrinks, doctors, teachers, lawyers, college professors, waitresses, pastors you name it say to me on greeting - "how are we today?" and I say right back at them - "I don't know about you but I am having a fantastic day". So I know that my referring to myself as we since I was at least 5 years old could very well have happened anyway even without my being DID. The human race is a social one that does alot of things in pairs and groups so for all anyone knows my reference to we could be my son and I, a friend and I and so on. and I don't have to explain myself each and everytime some one doesn't like what I say and do. Im not sitting there forcing a gun to their heads making them listen to me, to watch me, to read and edit what I write and so on. Bottom line saying we no matter how and when I say it is just being me as I always have been so when I do encounter the few that don't approve or think Im strage I either joke about it or ignore it. My wasting my time getting mad at themand rudely pointing out to them how rude their behavior is, would just be taking me down to their childish levels of behavior. so I don't let something that has always happened bother me.

[Monty_girl]

Oh yeah I catch myself saying, "we" or "our". I try to say "oh I meant me and D" ( my H ). Since H is a couple of days older then we are I say something to the fact about H and I are so close in age when ppl ask how old I am. I also get to talking really fast at times. So sometimes I keep talking and hope no one caught on to it.

Lisa

thank you everyone.

I feel much better knowing im not..crazy.. tee hee. Well, I am, a little, but its ok!

psych eval tomorrow has me nervous I think.

[nothemama8]

I always tell ppl when they say something about my saying we that "we get more done as a group" laughther is a great ignorence stopper, besides "I" is so lonely.

[January]

A dear friend of mine who is not DID, has the habit of always saying "we" for this and that. I tease her about using the "imperial we", but I always, always think of all of you when she does that.

Hugs,

Jan