About Anna, my little

I don't know a whole lot about my little. And I'd certainly appreciate any feedback and simular experiences others have had.

My little's name is Anna. She is four years old, brown haired down past her shoulders and it's wavy not curly. Anna likes to wear ONLY dresses. Her favourite is blue velvet with white broquade lace at the neck and lace at the hem. Oh and Anna says it has really short sleeves (cap sleeves looks like to me)

She has been with me since i was really young. The only things i remember about my childhood are polaroid snapshots of good times bad times but not much. Mostly i remember being in the family room playing and the nnext thing in my room. I don't remember EVER getting ready or going to bed until i was maybe 11 or 12. Now a days i have kids books and music and tv shows on my kindle. Sometimes i get these superstrong urges to buy that type of thing or go to a toy store. Like i would really like to play chutes and ladders.

I think its Anna that wants these things but i don't think she talks to anyone but me. And that isn't all the time. Sometimes she is closer like now and sometimes further. I get the feeling she knows way more about my childhood than i do.

If she is a full alter the thing i am scared of is how therapy might change as apparently we've never worked on my childhood abuse stuff. (I asked) and i am scared if there are more alters in me and what their like... or could i have just one alter? Maybe she doesn't come out as much as she did during the years when i was abused?

Did i mention that i dissociate when people yell and at other times on top of what is normal dissociation? I think i said everything. Btw i was telling my BF about my little but she wouldn't let me tell him her name. She did let me tell him her favourite color is green She also likes to watch Caiiou.

My mom thinks she can see things like when i act like a kid. She is going to think more. And of course I'm going to talk to my T.
How else can i get to know her? Journaling won't work...she's only four. Unless i had her draw.. maybe... thanks for reading!

Hi. I am 17. I dont had DID but I spend a lot of time dissasociating. I am really sorry for your pain. Anna needs to feel safe to come out. Let her draw, keep her safe and let her tell you when she is ready. Let her "run the show" because that's the only way she will feel comfortable... I hope this helps.

Yes that makes sense. Take it slow. I used to teach four year olds so theoretically i SHOULD be able to do this!

Well its a lot easier when theyre not your own GOod luck

I have had the experiences you are talking about. Two ways I connected with internal folks was through music or food. It took me some time to figure out the communication style. This was before anyone was talking. I think by paying attention to and acting on their wishes, we built bonds of trust. This happened over a long period of time. Each would show up on their time schedule with their wants, needs and the knowledge they had.

I have to acknowledge that I was afraid when some would surface. Those were the times my T helped the most. BTW, it took me 2 years to trust my T to even begin to share my internal experiences.

Sabra

i am drawing pictures to try to connect with someone that does not read.

sounds like you have already established communication, and have bonded with this alter. great. that

...blue velvet with white broquade lace at the neck and lace at the hem. Oh and Anna says it has really short sleeves (cap sleeves looks like to me)...

sounds so pretty. it must be very hard to find clothes in that style now. at least here in new york if I had that alter they would not be able to find any clothes to wear because here the style is jeans, t-shirts, and other casual clothing. here in New York anna's style of clothing would be called..victorian era (1800's) clothing. thats pretty cool. I love seeing plays, musicals where clothing from the victorian era are worn... my alters all wore clothing styles from the 1980's on up,, but I did have an alter that was quite theatrical and liked the styles of clothing from the prohibition era ( outlawing booze, dances like the charleston, tap dancing, songs like tea for two, glitzy fringed dresses, lots of jewelry, make up...)

your wondering if theres only one....sorry to tell you this but...if you are here in america dont be surprised if you have more than two.. basically its the standard for people with DID here in america to have two or more alters that are DID type alters. a person here in america cant receive the diagnosis of DID if there is only one alter there....you may only be able to get to know one, and another or others may be so separate from you that you dont get to know about them ...yet and possibly never...only time will tell if theres more than one in there,..but some day when its time for you to get diagnosed you will find out whether there is only one or more alters..(I dont remember if you have stated you were diagnosed or not at this time, there are many people here on psych central that are in various stages of healing, some have been diagnosed and some havent yet and some are in the process, I cant always keep who is who and who is at what part of their healing path straight)

therapy will change things... thats what therapy is for...its to help you and and your alters change from how you are now to a better you in the future. for some like me it meant my alters and I became one whole person, where the alters mixed in with me....kind of like taking a bunch of ice cubes to represent me and each of my alters. and as the ice changed (melted) we all became like the melted ice into water. the water was better because you can do more things together then separate.

just take it one day at a time one step at a time and everything will be ok.

I made Anna a playlist on my kindle. I think for now we are going to start there. I told my T more about Anna today and my T thinks Anna probably is an alter but wants to go slow and focus on the THERAPY part rather than a label of DID at this point. Because T doesn't want clueless docs treating me bad. I like her approach. I told h T about Annna because i sense she will be involved in disscussions of my past.

That is so great!!!!

I got our littles crayons and paper. and colring books. littles are really good at drawing whats on their mind. but it is good to have T help you get to know them if it seems like there is tuff stuff they will be dealing with. our t helped them talk on computer with littles writing on mesenger. he was pretty good at figuing out what they were saying sometimes they had to say it more times and sometimes the bigs would help him understand.

Hmm good thoughts! Thanks! I actually bave Two littles. No bigs that I know about at least. I will try leaving paper and crayons out and let you guys know what happens