Changing pronouns in writing

Hi everyone,

Lately my T has been asking me to journal my thoughts when I get to my "bad" place - for me, it's wanting to SI.

I've never been very good at the journaling beforehand, as it always seems like an impulsive decision. The other day I SI'd pretty bad (had to go to the hospital for stitches). In my journal entry that I gave my T explaining what had happened, I frequently switched from saying things like "and then I did ..." or "and then I felt" to talking in the 3rd person like "who will ever love her" or "[SI related] to her"

I didn't even pick up on it, T did. I'm scared at what that might be .... I've been under a lot more stress than normal lately (my 51-year old dad had a massive stroke a month ago), plus grad school applications, etc. etc. and so I'm hoping that this is just stress-related.

Does anyone have any thoughts about this? Am I just reading too much into things? I've only ever had one "dissociative" episode before... and it was during a bad SI. Re: what happened the other night... I'm not missing any parts in my memory... that I'm aware of!

Thanks so much all,
tc

Jacq

Are you trying to figure out if you dissociated while writting the joutnal entry? 1. We can't really tell you that without reading more context. (Which you probably don't want to share that really detailed stuff here)

I think it is possible for people who SI to feel like they are dissociating. When you SI as you most likley know your body releases endorphenes. Kind of giving you a natural high and floaty feeling but without the memory loss or time loss that comes with dissociation.

When I used to SI i would feel like i was watching myself SI someone else. This is called derealisation. Sometimes I even felt like I was even SIing an inanimate object.

I don't know if any of this helps.... Also maybe look back in your journal and see if there is a pattern of topics where you are more likely to write in first person and ones where you are mostblikely to write in third.

there are many different reasons a person writes, thinks and talks about their self in the third person (ie her, she, it, he, him, they...instead of I, me, my)

one of the reasons I would do that is because of sleep deprivation. other times it was because of my medications.. my alters all responded and replied/used the first person pronouns. they never talked using the he, she, and other third person pronouns.

sometimes I would use third person pronouns when I was having my bipolar symptoms, sometimes it was anemia and sometimes it is because of my ms and other reasons.

only you and your treatment providers knows and can discover why you are doing this at this time.

my suggestion it was your therapist that noticed it so talk with your therapist. they will explain whether this is something they feel should be a concern or issue you may need to work on medically or physically.

Switching from writing in the first person to the third is and form of dissociation. The first person is overwhelmed and switching it to the third enables the writing to continue but separates the alt further away. It doesnt just relate to incidences of SI. It can be any subject.

Ok ignore what i said! Sorry!

Thank you all for your input/thoughts... it's all helpful! <3

Possum - that does make sense for me what you said .. switching to the 3rd person because of feelings of being overwhelmed. Maybe that's all it was.

Monarch - why did you say to ignore what you said?? What you said about derealization also makes sense to me.. just another way of coping with what was going on at the moment.