[MomgaJupiter]

Ok. So I'm getting in touch with my alters and connecting with their feelings. That's good. Only it feels like I'm becoming more unstable, and like now I have less control than before over choosing my actions to do what I need to do. I think maybe the kid parts are coming forward more than they did before and there's a lot more of I don't wanna!!! I didn't ever hear them before and getting into this argument over whether or not to do my job at work is really scarey. I know in my head that this will be temporary - I just don't want to get fired before that. For those who have been dealing with this for a while - is this how it goes? I'm trying to take the role of the loving, functional parent and encourage them to make good choices, but there is too much piss off and they don't want to be told what to do any more. Suggestions?

[pegasus]

Yes therapy can stir things up but it'll be worth it in the end. It's actually good that you are getting this awareness, good work! I guess you could try giving them time out to do what they like. You know, like drawing, painting, writing etc. I've been where you're at and still do from time to time but all those parts make all of you. I think learning to trust those parts are the big issue. It's different for everyone. Hugs!

[Neptune83]

I don't know if this works the same, but telling kids not to do something often makes them more determined to do what they want anyway, even if just to piss you off so I'd be inclined to agree with above. My last CBT sessions sent me off the walls. But had the sessions been longer perhaps I would have done better. Stick with it

[grace428]

Originally Posted by MomgaJupiter

Ok. So I'm getting in touch with my alters and connecting with their feelings. That's good. Only it feels like I'm becoming more unstable, and like now I have less control than before over choosing my actions to do what I need to do. I think maybe the kid parts are coming forward more than they did before and there's a lot more of I don't wanna!!! I didn't ever hear them before and getting into this argument over whether or not to do my job at work is really scarey. I know in my head that this will be temporary - I just don't want to get fired before that. For those who have been dealing with this for a while - is this how it goes? I'm trying to take the role of the loving, functional parent and encourage them to make good choices, but there is too much piss off and they don't want to be told what to do any more. Suggestions?

From my own experience I found that someone needed a voice, and since the 'body' only has one voice box that's it! Listen and let the hurt/angry parts talk, write, or however they communicate and be patient and very very kind and compassionate. They were formed in a state of abuse, remember, so listen and allow them to tell you how they are feeling. Hope this doesn't sound harsh-you are a very strong and brave person to ask for advice and I wish you well.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by MomgaJupiter

Ok. So I'm getting in touch with my alters and connecting with their feelings. That's good. Only it feels like I'm becoming more unstable, and like now I have less control than before over choosing my actions to do what I need to do. I think maybe the kid parts are coming forward more than they did before and there's a lot more of I don't wanna!!! I didn't ever hear them before and getting into this argument over whether or not to do my job at work is really scarey. I know in my head that this will be temporary - I just don't want to get fired before that. For those who have been dealing with this for a while - is this how it goes? I'm trying to take the role of the loving, functional parent and encourage them to make good choices, but there is too much piss off and they don't want to be told what to do any more. Suggestions?

could it be that now you are more aware of whats been going on? the reason I say that is because my treatment providers told me that nothing changes after being diagnosed that hasnt already been happening since the very first traumatic split into being a host and alters at the age of under 5 yrs old. all that does change after being diagnosed is that now the already existing problems can now be worked on and get better with treatment..

example before I was diagnosed I didnt think nothing about all the lack of memories, the fact that one second I would be in a meeting and the next second I would be watching a show on tv, I just thought is was normal that people did not remember things and that it was normal to hear voices...

after being diagnosed I was now thinking about all the loss time, I now knew just how often I was switching into alters. I panicked. what the heck was happening to me, why does it seem like Im getting worse, why cant I control this why...

thats when my treatment provider sat down with me and explained therapy and being diagnosed dont make things worse. they make things better because we are working on the problems now. it only .....seems...to be worse because I am now aware of whats been going on since I was younger than 5 yrs old. all that has changed is my own perception...instead of being oblivious to my problems and symptoms, I am now aware of those problems. which is a good thing. its progress being able to see what the problems are and be able to address them where as before I was diagnosed I wasnt able to do that..

progress in awareness is like a double edged knife... the positive side is now things can get better but on the negative side its strange and scarey knowing/being aware of all the problems that have been going on for yrs and yrs. a bit embarrassing too for some people.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by MomgaJupiter

Ok. So I'm getting in touch with my alters and connecting with their feelings. That's good. Only it feels like I'm becoming more unstable, and like now I have less control than before over choosing my actions to do what I need to do. I think maybe the kid parts are coming forward more than they did before and there's a lot more of I don't wanna!!! I didn't ever hear them before and getting into this argument over whether or not to do my job at work is really scarey. I know in my head that this will be temporary - I just don't want to get fired before that. For those who have been dealing with this for a while - is this how it goes? I'm trying to take the role of the loving, functional parent and encourage them to make good choices, but there is too much piss off and they don't want to be told what to do any more. Suggestions?

When I began therapy and became aware that the thoughts were alters, they did begin to pop out more often and unexpectedly. Sometimes at work, but I was able to explain my behavior away. It helped when I started explaining to them that we needed to work to eat and do stuff. I told them that if they wanted to do something that was ok but sometimes they would have to wait. It took a while but my young ones would wait as long as they knew we would do something fun later. Being direct and honest about our situation seemed to help. I hope things work out.

[yellowted]

often it gets worse before it gets better because it stirrs up the forgotten and the 'don't want to believe' and makes them real. only when these are 'real' can you begin to deal with them.