[Bloem]

I know it does not make sense, I know that the others belong to me .....It only does not feel that way. I know the other parts also need therapy and that it is necessary in order to recover. But sometimes it feels like the other parts take my time in therapy especially the teen part she's very outspoken and not shy, the opposite of me in touch with others. She talks a lot and is happy with T even though she often 'fights' with her. She is much more open than me to T. Sometimes my T knows something that I'm sure I have not told and never would tell her. I try to accept it because what else can I do? But sometimes I feel jealous, it looks like they have a better contact and they take my time in therapy.

Does anyone have experience with this?

I hear you! We each get jealous of that with each other at times too!

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by Bloem

I know it does not make sense, I know that the others belong to me .....It only does not feel that way. I know the other parts also need therapy and that it is necessary in order to recover. But sometimes it feels like the other parts take my time in therapy especially the teen part she's very outspoken and not shy, the opposite of me in touch with others. She talks a lot and is happy with T even though she often 'fights' with her. She is much more open than me to T. Sometimes my T knows something that I'm sure I have not told and never would tell her. I try to accept it because what else can I do? But sometimes I feel jealous, it looks like they have a better contact and they take my time in therapy.

Does anyone have experience with this?

Can you write your t a note asking her to ask for you during therapy. I sometimes have that happen where someone has wanted to talk and when session comes someone with better communication skills dominates the session. I do understand that they also need to talk and just don't think about what the others want. Also if you talk to the alter that is at most of the sessions and tell her you need time with your t. I am sure she will understand and give you room to talk. Most times if one of my alters dominates the session it is because they were unaware of someone else wanting to talk.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Bloem

I know it does not make sense, I know that the others belong to me .....It only does not feel that way. I know the other parts also need therapy and that it is necessary in order to recover. But sometimes it feels like the other parts take my time in therapy especially the teen part she's very outspoken and not shy, the opposite of me in touch with others. She talks a lot and is happy with T even though she often 'fights' with her. She is much more open than me to T. Sometimes my T knows something that I'm sure I have not told and never would tell her. I try to accept it because what else can I do? But sometimes I feel jealous, it looks like they have a better contact and they take my time in therapy.

Does anyone have experience with this?

no I was never jealous of my alters...they were there inside of me taking control, doing their jobs, purposes reasons for being all my life..so it was nothing new to me that I would space out during therapy and an alter would be in control talking and spending time with my therapist. besides once my therapist and I worked on things like grounding, breathing ...I was able to remain more grounded in therapy which meant it was me not my alters spending time with my therapist...

by the way its not always necessary for alters to have therapy too. many of my alters chose not to be part of therapy. and healing was still possible. there are other ways people and alters can work out their problems besides sitting in therapy with a therapist such as journaling, physical activity, diet, getting enough sleep and other things too. many of my alters worked out their problems by taking art classes at the local college. one of my alters worked out her problems through painting. Another worked out their problems by working at the local animal shelter...and they not once took control during therapy, did not spend any time talking with any mental health treatment providers...

Writing a new is a good idea. It works for us too,althgh we do it by texting t. That way she knows someone in particular is needing to talk.

[Bloem]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

no I was never jealous of my alters...they were there inside of me taking control, doing their jobs, purposes reasons for being all my life..so it was nothing new to me that I would space out during therapy and an alter would be in control talking and spending time with my therapist. besides once my therapist and I worked on things like grounding, breathing ...I was able to remain more grounded in therapy which meant it was me not my alters spending time with my therapist...

by the way its not always necessary for alters to have therapy too. many of my alters chose not to be part of therapy. and healing was still possible. there are other ways people and alters can work out their problems besides sitting in therapy with a therapist such as journaling, physical activity, diet, getting enough sleep and other things too. many of my alters worked out their problems by taking art classes at the local college. one of my alters worked out her problems through painting. Another worked out their problems by working at the local animal shelter...and they not once took control during therapy, did not spend any time talking with any mental health treatment providers...

Thanks for the comment.

For me it is 'new' that my parts take space in therapy, not for my T. If parts came in therapy (in the past, before I knew) and my T wanted to talk about it with me i got angry and said she was 'crazy'. Even though I was suffering from loss of time, and I could not remember therapy sessions....I didnt want to know.
I know that not all parts need therapy, but I have an introject and according to my T he needs therapy, so that I and others are safe. He is very difficult and does not appear often in therapy. I have two little ones one of them lives in the past the other in the here and now. The one in the here and now enjoys gardening and drawing, thats how she works on her problems. My teenage part has its own problems. She's straight and I'm gay. I have a great relationship with my girlfriend. In the past my teen part brought me in trouble by dating with boys. I did not know then that I had DiD, I thought then it must have happend in a manic episode. Now I know more. My T has explained to her that she can not date with guys without me knowing. So I know that she needs therapy to discuss things like this and her destructive behavior, so it will go better with me.
But sometimes it feels like it's not about me......and that makes me jealous.

I do not know whether it is necessary that all alters get therapy. But where I live they believe that all alters need time in therapy to talk about what they have experienced in the past and what their reason where to be there and protect me.

Bloem

[Bloem]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Can you write your t a note asking her to ask for you during therapy. I sometimes have that happen where someone has wanted to talk and when session comes someone with better communication skills dominates the session. I do understand that they also need to talk and just don't think about what the others want. Also if you talk to the alter that is at most of the sessions and tell her you need time with your t. I am sure she will understand and give you room to talk. Most times if one of my alters dominates the session it is because they were unaware of someone else wanting to talk.

Thank you for your reaction.

I will send my t a email and explain that she should ask for me in therapy. I told her earlier that I did not feel involved and that it made me jealous. She then said that she understands but that my destructive parts need time in therapy so that it will go better with me. I understand that, it only feels sometimes that they take all my time.

Bloem

[Luce]

Yes, our old host used to get very jealous when others took 'her' time, too. Sometimes it was a feeling more akin to desperation rather than jealousy. She would feel quite despairing when others took the time so that she didn't come out til our time was nearly up. In fact lots of our alts that used to attend therapy often felt jealous of not getting the time they wanted.
Ultimately though, you kinda just have to trust that however time is divided up in any particular T session is how it best serves the greatest needs of the whole person on that particular day.
Still, that's hard to accept when you feel like you are the one who's been shafted...

[Bloem]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

Writing a new is a good idea. It works for us too,althgh we do it by texting t. That way she knows someone in particular is needing to talk.

Thank you for your reaction.

We also texting T. I am not that good to ask for what i need. My teen part is much better in asking for what she need. But i will email my T so she knows and can help me to take my time in therapy.

Bloem