[Down the rabbit hole]

I don't have much contact with any of my alters, really. A couple of years ago I was very co-conscious with a protector alter of mine, and at that time things were very bad. Now things are better but I don't feel that I have as much communication as before. Sometimes I feel like there's someone co-conscious though (like someone is with me), or that I'm not really there (I have control over the body and mind but I feel disconnected, if that makes sense?).

Sometimes I feel the feelings of other alters, a while ago something bad happened and then I felt like it was a chaos inside. Some alters were very scared and I know that there's one protector alter that is very scared of trusting and being dependent etc.

I don't have much more communication than that. I've never switched (as I know of), but I think that I've lost time in the past when things were bad (I suspect that things has been worse than what I know of). I have a journal for us to write in, and if I feel like an alter is feeling something/wants to get anything out, I write it down there. It's pretty empty though and it's mostly my feelings that I write down...

I don't want to push anyone and it's important to me that they feel like they can do things when they feel comfortable doing it, but I can feel frustrated sometimes, that I don't have that much communication with my alters. After all I've been aware of them (at least one of my protector alters) for about three years now. I don't know if I'd say that I "hear" my alters (other than what I've already described, if that could be considered hearing them?). I don't know how to get a better communication since we're not switching (if we did they could have written in our journal).

I appreciate any replies, I need help with this.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Down the rabbit hole

I don't have much contact with any of my alters, really. A couple of years ago I was very co-conscious with a protector alter of mine, and at that time things were very bad. Now things are better but I don't feel that I have as much communication as before. Sometimes I feel like there's someone co-conscious though (like someone is with me), or that I'm not really there (I have control over the body and mind but I feel disconnected, if that makes sense?).

Sometimes I feel the feelings of other alters, a while ago something bad happened and then I felt like it was a chaos inside. Some alters were very scared and I know that there's one protector alter that is very scared of trusting and being dependent etc.

I don't have much more communication than that. I've never switched (as I know of), but I think that I've lost time in the past when things were bad (I suspect that things has been worse than what I know of). I have a journal for us to write in, and if I feel like an alter is feeling something/wants to get anything out, I write it down there. It's pretty empty though and it's mostly my feelings that I write down...

I don't want to push anyone and it's important to me that they feel like they can do things when they feel comfortable doing it, but I can feel frustrated sometimes, that I don't have that much communication with my alters. After all I've been aware of them (at least one of my protector alters) for about three years now. I don't know if I'd say that I "hear" my alters (other than what I've already described, if that could be considered hearing them?). I don't know how to get a better communication since we're not switching (if we did they could have written in our journal).

I appreciate any replies, I need help with this.

Unfortunately theres not much help anyone can give you in the area of communicating with your alters.. you see only you and your alters know how each of you connect/communicate/ ...with in the make up of your internal system..

each persons internal system of alters is how ever and what ever they needed to survive. that includes what information/memories/plans/...are shared between each other.

maybe it will help you to understand your internal system if you understood more about how communication in general happens with DID..

communication is just a big word that means how your alters share information between each other and between you and the alters..

some alters share their memories/plans/wants/needs/ information....through feelings.....some alters can feel each other, some hosts and alters can feel each other..for example when you wrote in your post sometimes you can feel your alters feeling like they want to get something out. thats communication.

some alters between each other and between alter and hosts share information/memories/plans/wants/ needs....through visual ways (images/hallucinations/flashbacks/...)

some share stuff though journaling

some share by a process of asking inside (thinking or verbalizing a question and the alters answer back in what ever forms of communication they have)

some share tactile / tangible stimulation (touching /painting /sculpting /drawing/play therapy/ ....

some share in audio ways...voices, sounds, whispers, thoughts,

there are many different ways alters communicate between each other and between the alters and hosts.. and only you know how your internal system of alters is comprised.

my suggestion I bet if you go back and read through your past posts you will find many ways in which your alters have communicated with you..
.
for example

you have posted that you and your alters have different opinions, feelings and thoughts about life ...ok how do you know that...because they told you in some way, shape or form..thats how your system communicates.

in another post you wrote an alter has forbidden you to talk about the system...how did that alter do that? thats how your system communicates.

I see in your past posts that you have not been diagnosed with any dissociative disorders and that you are letting your treatment providers believe your dissociative symptoms/and possible alters are gone..

and in another post you are trying to learn about dissociative disorders and your internal system by doing research on DID and talking to others who have dissociative disorder....

you can learn about the mental disorder DID from reading books, researching, joining groups like here but thats not going to tell you how you and your internal system is..doing this can actually mislead a person into believing they have the issue they are reading/learning about on line...

example I know someone who instead of working with their treatment providers they researched dissociative disorders and chatted with people online who said they had DID...that person is now dead because they just assumed what they were reading and talking with others about was indeed what they had...the reality is they had a type of cancer that was treatable. but because they didnt work with their own treatment providers he did not get the appropriate treatment needed..

another situations a teen ager I know joined an online group and felt her memory problems loss of time and feeling like she had alters was DID when in fact she had schizophrenia ...a mental disorder that is treatable with medication. instead of working with her treatment providers she assumed she had DID and ended up doing more harm then good to herself and her psychosis induced alters..

I could tell you my internal system of alters was made up this way and that way and this is how my alters and I communicated when ever that was possible but thats how my system works. but you incorporating my issues into how your system works may do more harm then good to you...

my suggestion please stop trying to self diagnose and trying to incorporate what you read online into the way your internal system is..

the first step to figuring out what kind of alters you have and establishing more communication then you have already had is by talking with your treatment providers. they can help you discover whether this is a dissociative disorder in you and can help you understand your internal system better, and help you communicate with those with in you.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Down the rabbit hole

I don't have much contact with any of my alters, really. A couple of years ago I was very co-conscious with a protector alter of mine, and at that time things were very bad. Now things are better but I don't feel that I have as much communication as before. Sometimes I feel like there's someone co-conscious though (like someone is with me), or that I'm not really there (I have control over the body and mind but I feel disconnected, if that makes sense?).

Sometimes I feel the feelings of other alters, a while ago something bad happened and then I felt like it was a chaos inside. Some alters were very scared and I know that there's one protector alter that is very scared of trusting and being dependent etc.

I don't have much more communication than that. I've never switched (as I know of), but I think that I've lost time in the past when things were bad (I suspect that things has been worse than what I know of). I have a journal for us to write in, and if I feel like an alter is feeling something/wants to get anything out, I write it down there. It's pretty empty though and it's mostly my feelings that I write down...

I don't want to push anyone and it's important to me that they feel like they can do things when they feel comfortable doing it, but I can feel frustrated sometimes, that I don't have that much communication with my alters. After all I've been aware of them (at least one of my protector alters) for about three years now. I don't know if I'd say that I "hear" my alters (other than what I've already described, if that could be considered hearing them?). I don't know how to get a better communication since we're not switching (if we did they could have written in our journal).

I appreciate any replies, I need help with this.

I went back and read some of your past postings...I see that you have an autism type diagnosis....

http://forums.psychcentral.com/disso...ml#post3059046

just a thought here...some people with autism disorders do have similar symptoms as dissociative disorders...

I do know of a couple people where their alters are part of their autism disorders not because of a dissociative disorder.

what happens with them is that when their meds and treatment for their autism disorder is working, their alters / communicating with their alters / interacting with their alters fades out.

it can be a bit scary and confusing if this is happening and is the first time your autistic mind is now stable and choosing the external world of reality, instead of the autistic interactions with your alters, but if this is whats happening ...its a great thing and a positive step in the right direction with your autistic disorder.

my suggestion...I cant say whether your alters are part of your autism and whether they are fading/whether your communication problems with them is because your autism disorder is progressing to a more stable life for you...

only your treatment providers can tell you for sure what is going on inside of you....please consider discussing this situation with them.. they can help you with this, by either adjusting/changing your meds and treatment options.