[Claritytoo]

I am wondering how therapy can help me because I don't remember most of what was said. I will most times remember who was at session but I don't always remember all that was talked about. Today was an odd session. I was there but so was another alter who is angry and has very mean things to say to us. I can think of a few things we talked about in session the rest is a blur. Does anyone else have this happen? Is there a way to remember what was talked about in session? Nothing feels right.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

I am wondering how therapy can help me because I don't remember most of what was said. I will most times remember who was at session but I don't always remember all that was talked about. Today was an odd session. I was there but so was another alter who is angry and has very mean things to say to us. I can think of a few things we talked about in session the rest is a blur. Does anyone else have this happen? Is there a way to remember what was talked about in session? Nothing feels right.

I too have problems with remembering what goes on sometimes in my sessions...yes there are ways to remember/keep track/jog your memory...

for example my therapist video and audio tapes our sessions. any time I am having a problem remembering what went on all I have to do is watch the video /listen to the audio recordings.

I have also been known to take notes during my sessions. besides being a way to remind myself what went on during the session its an excellent grounding tool. in order to keep notes a person must be able to listen and actively participate in therapy and remain grounded in the present. but no worries if I suddenly space off because there will be documentation through note taking what went on to refresh my memory later.

sometimes I bring a blanket, stuffed animal, or other object with me that comforts and has something to do with the therapy session. then at home all I need to do to jog my memory is to look at that blanket, stuffed animal, object and that starts the memory of the session coming to the surface..

my therapist has also at times given me an object to hold and take home with me to remind me of the session....

I bet if you keep reading the posts here you will find many people with dissociative disorders have all kinds of ways to remain grounded and remember what goes on during their therapy sessions. somewhere I read someone holds ice cubes... I tried it and it works. during a hard session I held on to ice cubes and that kept me grounded in the present and when I went out to lunch with a friend I had ordered an iced tea beverage. the ice in my glass reminded me of what went on during my sessions...

each person has their own things that work for grounding and remembering things. maybe reading your past posts and seeing the suggestions you have given others will help you too....

[Claritytoo]

Thanks for responding. When I am at session and an alter wants to talk at session (which happens a lot lately) I can hear them but if I do anything to ground myself they go and I become present or someone else who is more stable. The one who was present falls back. I do not know how to take an emotionally unstable alter and ground myself without having the emotionally unstable alter leave. Grounding allows my protector alters to become present. I have tried to figure out how to ground myself with an unstable alter present but I can't figure out how to change my system. My t has said that my system worked for me when I was in trouble but now the way we protect ourselves impedes our progress in therapy. Because my system has rules on how to behave and if we can't follow the rules than we can't stay out. So we are not allowed to attack anyone or smash things or stomp around the room. But we also are expected to present in a certain way when we are out. So this really mean guy that I have can't be out because he talks in a deep voice and says mean things to the rest of us. How he presents is not acceptable behavior when out. This way of doing things has kept us at work and out of a hospital. Part of me don't want to change the rules. When he talks I feel embarrassed by how he presents and don't want anyone to see or hear him. I think this is a major reason why some of my more extrema alters don't talk in session. This may also be why I don't find a way around the rule. But as I write this I can not think of a way to start this type of change in my system. I don't know how to ground myself, and be able to have the alter that needed grounding, to remain out during session. Thanks again for your insight.

[Claritytoo]

Oh I forgot my t has suggested videoing sessions but I freaked at the thought. Maybe voice recording but I don't think I could listen to it later. I get very confused in my head when I don't recognize that it is me talking or in the mirror. It can cause me to want to hide. And I do.

[Snoopy59]

I was just recently diagnosed with DID. I too forget what goes on in sessions and I hope I'll be able to talk to my psych about it and see if he has suggestions. I am also interested in what ideas people here have.
Sorry I don't have any solutions for you but hopefully others will. I'm still getting use to the idea that I have MPD. I've always suspected but actually have two dr's diagnose me is scary. My alters are coming out more.

[Millitoria]

Hi Claritytoo.

When I was in therapy I would often 'blank out' and not be able to remember afterwards what happened. It was very distressing. I spoke to my T about it and she told me not to worry, as we were still doing important work in our sessions even if I couldn't remember it. She said on some level, some part of me was taking it all in and still getting the benefit. We spent a lot of time talking about why I couldn't remember, and she was happy to give me a quick run down of the last session based on her notes from the previous one.

It was very disconcerting though, being told what I had said or done when I really couldn't remember it at all. I just thought I had been staring into space or had just blanked it out for being too upsetting, but it seems like I was often still engaging in the session just with no recollection after wards.

If you can talk to your T about it that might be a good place to start, as they might have suggestions on how to help.

Milli

x

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by Millitoria

Hi Claritytoo.

When I was in therapy I would often 'blank out' and not be able to remember afterwards what happened. It was very distressing. I spoke to my T about it and she told me not to worry, as we were still doing important work in our sessions even if I couldn't remember it. She said on some level, some part of me was taking it all in and still getting the benefit. We spent a lot of time talking about why I couldn't remember, and she was happy to give me a quick run down of the last session based on her notes from the previous one.

It was very disconcerting though, being told what I had said or done when I really couldn't remember it at all. I just thought I had been staring into space or had just blanked it out for being too upsetting, but it seems like I was often still engaging in the session just with no recollection after wards.

If you can talk to your T about it that might be a good place to start, as they might have suggestions on how to help.
Milli

x

The part you mention about your t telling you that you were doing good work in session even though you couldn't remember was a very positive thing to say. I will try to keep that in mind when I start to doubt my progress in therapy. I will ask my t if we are progressing. She has told me we are but I think I will let her know what you said and ask her if she will every now and than let me know that we are still doing well. But only if we are of course. Thank you for sharing. I think this will help me a lot.

[montanan4ever]

Someone inside is participating and remembering, even if it's not available to you "up front" much of the time.