[cryingoutloud1]

I watched the United states of Tara the other day. I can't stop thinking about how they left with her going to some hospital to get help for her DID. what bothers me and i think the reason for the obsession is that she can get better because she has the finances to go inpatient to a DID treatment facility and I do not.
I am so tired of just living and existing. i want it all to just stop I mean existing. waking up and breathing and doing everyday stuff. I'm tired of having to deal with the present and worry about the future. I am jealous and mad at all the people around me that are old and that have died because they are almost done with their lives (even though they are not happy about the whole idea of being almost done). I'm jealous of the people that have died because they don't have to deal with this world and think about and worry about the future any longer. I hate seeing people that have things (husband- job- nice home and family) while i literally have nothing. I know feel good and think about what you do have and don't worry about the future stay in the present. I don't like being in the present either. I am working on changeing it but it is taking so long... and things may not work out the way i hope.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by cryingoutloud1

I watched the United states of Tara the other day. I can't stop thinking about how they left with her going to some hospital to get help for her DID. what bothers me and i think the reason for the obsession is that she can get better because she has the finances to go inpatient to a DID treatment facility and I do not.
I am so tired of just living and existing. i want it all to just stop I mean existing. waking up and breathing and doing everyday stuff. I'm tired of having to deal with the present and worry about the future. I am jealous and mad at all the people around me that are old and that have died because they are almost done with their lives (even though they are not happy about the whole idea of being almost done). I'm jealous of the people that have died because they don't have to deal with this world and think about and worry about the future any longer. I hate seeing people that have things (husband- job- nice home and family) while i literally have nothing. I know feel good and think about what you do have and don't worry about the future stay in the present. I don't like being in the present either. I am working on changeing it but it is taking so long... and things may not work out the way i hope.

please dont try to compare yourself to this show...its not a real story. it is a made up show that supposed to be a comedy not a true representation of true life...she can get better with just 2 or 3 seasons just by going inpatient because its comedy based fiction not non fiction.

this is exactly why I refuse to watch it and tell those I treat not to watch it... shows like this tend to leave me (a person with dissociative disorders) feeling disappointed and let down on my own progress and problems and does the same to others I know.

its best to not compare ones problems and rate of healing to no one but their self and their own goals/treatment paths.

[montanan4ever]

That show is no more related to fact than the movies "Sybil" or "The Three Faces of Eve."

Hell would freeze over before I would go to an inpatient treatment facility of any kind, including one of the very few that still exist that believe in and treat DID. But I am oh, so much better now than ever before, and life goes on. That's why I am convinced that yours can, too. There is no magic in an inpatient stay.

[likewater]

Originally Posted by cryingoutloud1

I watched the United states of Tara the other day. I can't stop thinking about how they left with her going to some hospital to get help for her DID. what bothers me and i think the reason for the obsession is that she can get better because she has the finances to go inpatient to a DID treatment facility and I do not.
I am so tired of just living and existing. i want it all to just stop I mean existing. waking up and breathing and doing everyday stuff. I'm tired of having to deal with the present and worry about the future. I am jealous and mad at all the people around me that are old and that have died because they are almost done with their lives (even though they are not happy about the whole idea of being almost done). I'm jealous of the people that have died because they don't have to deal with this world and think about and worry about the future any longer. I hate seeing people that have things (husband- job- nice home and family) while i literally have nothing. I know feel good and think about what you do have and don't worry about the future stay in the present. I don't like being in the presencpuldt either. I am working on changeing itd but it is taking so long... and things may not work out the way i hope.

I used to feel the same way, but now, i think we all work at our own pace and will do the ,mystical, brave, seemingly impossible world of healing, eventually. What work we are unable to finish here, we shall complete in the spirit world. Everything is as it should be , and all is well.

[possum220]

I have been in an inpatient facility. I have some form of DID. I am in Australia. None of the nurses there had a clue what DID was or how to treat it apart from throwing meds at me when my body was having spasms. We only have one hospital in the whole country that has any clue about DID. The TV show is unreal. There is no quick fix for DID, it can take years of therapy and even then there are no guarantees. Try not to obsess about unreality. Its a hard road to go down.

[LittleRedDog]

I watched UST because I wanted to, but don't compare yourself to it. It's much more dramatic than anyone's DID in real life. I've been inpatient myself and to be honest, while it kept me safe for the time being, I've found outpatient much more helpful ultimately. I'm sure that's a personal thing. Like Possum220 says, it's a long road. You just gotta keep walking and try your best.

[DeeMultipleMe]

Even inpatient stays in places specifically for dissociative disorders (I stayed 21 days in one in Washington, D.C.) are not that magical or special. I was not cured. If anything it made the outside world a scarier place and set me back quite a few paces.

I can relate to the being tired of just being... I struggle a lot with that. Wish I had words of wisdom. Instead, all I cansay is I'm sorry you are feeling so low. And I understand. You are not alone.

[itsmeleyreagain]

I don't like United States of Tara. It seems moving but I don't think DID is something fun at all. Of course ther emight be some fun things about it, everything can be lighthearted sometimes, but I have the feling I don't like the way it is being treatedin the show because it's not realistic.

[ThisWayOut]

Inpatient won't cure everything, but it can be a start. It's helpful for safety i and in terms of intensity (sometimes). Most inpatient places no longer are able to offer the intensity needed to help take some difficult issues because of budgetary and insurance restrictions. I went to a place in DC and stayed for almost 2 weeks, only for them to try to discharge me into a hurricane with no way home and no place else to stay. They recently changed their treatment format and had cut down the number of Times you meet with your therapist while there (I would have preferred daily, but they cut him down to 2 it 3 times a week). Many places have become focused on immediate standardization and leave the treatment piece up to outpatient clinicians... it all takes time and a while lot of effort to try to heal. I keep having to remind myself that every day. The good days are free and far between, and the darkness overshadows everything for me. I too wish I had the money for a short inpatient stay to help me get started again on fixing myself, but the lack of resources of limiting.
Could you talk to your t about your frustration? Maybe s/he could help you get some more intensive workcome on an outpatient basis?

[krazy_phoenix]

I watched UST and liked it for what it was, hollywood fiction. Having DID is no funny thing, but the show has humour because it was written into it by clever writers who don't suffer the daily turmoil we do. Day in, day out. Hour by hour, sometimes struggling to get by minute by minute. Not funny at all. I understand your jealousy too. I feel that toward certain ppl in my life who are no longer walking this world. I understand the darkness that can overwhelm the brightest day when you 'should' be sooo thankful for all the good things you have. But all that you feel is the ugly behind bars. I get that. You are not alone. You are not alone at all.
Putting one foot in front of the other,
kp
clan of the phoenix