Naturally integrate

I'm pretty sure my h has disassociation, however he doesn't know it. For example he asked me who used his toothbrush the other morning. We're the only two in the house. I have tons of examples, but he's 57 and somehow has lived with this successfully. I try to let him know as much as I can without hitting his wall of denial. My question is, in many things he's improving, I think having a loving person (me!) in his life helps. I kind of get the gist of this having talked to a few people with D.I.D. I wonder if there is any way that he may naturally sort of integrate. He called me one day after raging an leaving the house, he had totally changed, and said he 'heard' himself starting to swear at the Duncin Donut lady. He just thinks his sugar level dropped. he said he had to sit down. Again, I wonder if things will start to pull together for him…anyone know of that happening.

Don't diagnose him. That's the worse you can do. He needs to see a doctor. He's 57 maybe he has a health issue.

I second what volitile stated please dont try to diagnose him..

there are many different mental disorders, physical problems and even normal situations that share the same symptoms...

the DSM 5 addresses many of these issues and how DID and other dissociative disorder symptoms can be confused with many different mental disorders such as major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, PTSD, psychotic disorders, substance/medication induced disorders, personality disorders, conversion disorders, seizure disorders, factitious disorder and malingering disorders,...

my point is only his treatment providers can say whether he has DID or not, what kinds of alters he has and how to best handle the situation..

the best thing you can do for him is to suggest to him, his seeking a diagnostic evaluation for mental issues with a psychiatrist in your off line location.

now to answer your question....if he does have DID no DID type alters do not just one day integrate..it takes years of working with treatment providers on the issues that caused the DID, working on many other issues too that is part of dissociative disorders.

again the best thing you can do for him is to suggest a diagnostic evaluation for mental disorders and then let him take it from there. to do other wise you could further traumatize him or cause other harm to him accidentally.

He has not been officially diagnosed with DID? so you do not know if he has this disorder...
Your husband has diabetes or not? I know from experience in working with people with diabetes and from people in my private life. That blood sugar levels changes can cost behavior changes.

Bloem

Here's a sample of what I witnessed: I come home, he says my daughter moved the tv to a the couch. He had to move it back. There was no one in the house but him. He asked me one morning if I used his toothbrush. It was wet. He said "well, someone used it." There was no one in the house but me and him. A chair in our back yard was placed on top of a table. I asked, do you want that there; he looked at me surprised and said, i didn't put that there. Little cigarette butts had been taken out of the ashtray, and he pointed to them as if I had done it. A week later, I found little cigarette butts tucked into the couch. He has absolutely no idea that he's the one doing these things. At first I thought he was just lying…he would have an outburst and say something filthy in a restaurant; then accuse me of being crazy and making it up. It took me awhile to realize he actually had no recall. He has a habit of 'inventing' what probably happened, when he doesn't have all the pieces. He shared with me that he was beaten 'daily' with a stick..but seems ambivalent about it..no anger or anything. His rage episodes are explosive…he's strangled me; broke my finger, sprained my knee, broken furniture…over insignificant issues. It would be impossible for me to get him to a therapist. He's dead set against it. Believe me, I wish I had help.

just a thought here...I know some people in domestic violence situations where their abusing husband, wife, intimate partners place blame on tho one they have strangled, broke bones, sprained wrists/knees, ankles/...doing things around the home and then saying I didnt do it you must have or making it seem like other family members /ghosts/ what ever have done it...

the fact that he has strangled, broke your finger/sprained your knee broke furniture and is making it seem as if things are happening around the home that wasnt him and such says to me it dont matter whether this is a diabetic problem (diabetes can cause a person to have memory problems, seem like they have alters and what have you) or a dissociative problem, the fact of the matter is that according to your posts this person is not trust worthy and is manipulative and is a danger to at least others..if you are here in NY that right there is grounds for calling the authorities and having him taken in for a 72 hour hold in the mental ward for diagnostic procedures to ensure this person is not going to harm you or others..

Im not saying this is the way things actually are because we can not make a diagnosis of other members situations...just saying thats what would happen if you were here in NY..

that said the things you posted....memory problems, rages, lying, doing strange things and then placing the blame on you and others....well that can be any number of mental and physical health problems .....if you google these symptoms you will come up with well over 238,000,000 medical physical and normal things these symptoms can add up to be...

the line in the sand is that we cant tell you what this is in him due to the site rules that we are not allowed to diagnose problems here and this site isnt supposed to take the place of seeing a treatment provider...the only way in which you are going to be able to get your answers as to what is going on with this person you are posting about is by contacting treatment [providers in your location...

and if and when you dont want to be harmed by this person any more there are places /agencies that can help you..at the bottom of the page is a gray box with some emergency/crisis numbers for things like mental illness and domestic violence. they can help you get the help this person and you may need so that you will no longer have to suffer broken bones, sprains, getting strangled by someone you feel may be mentally ill.

Maybe he is developing Alzheimers? He needs to see a doctor, a real doctor like a neurologist. Memory issues do not automatically mean DID.

Today he noticed some sets of car keys missing. I'm afraid one day he's going to turn on me and blame me for this type of thing. It's illogical that I would take them, as I have my own…but if his only choice is that he did it or me…it will be easier for him to believe it's me.

I would just suggest that you need to protect yourself. If he's abusing you - FOR ANY REASON - you need to consider your options. I'd suggest you contact a domestic violence counselor. Even if he refuses therapy, you can still go and get help (if not for him, then for you).

Don't diagnose him, that's the worst you can do. (I know this has already been said, but...)
Manage to get him see a psychiatrist.
He might have lots of different things. Usually the only non-psychiatrist able to "diagnose" DID are the patients...
He could have Alzheimer's or any other disease which involves memory loss. It could be everything. A brain tumor, Hungtington's... But neither we nor you are qualified to diagnose him - so if you want to help him, BRING HIM TO A DOCTOR!
Cheers and safe hugs if wanted!
Lana
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