How many?

I spoke with my counselor this week, and we went over the alters that I know of right now. There are 8 of us that I am aware of. She asked if my doctor was aware of them all and I told her he was. I asked her if that was a lot and she said it was, which now has me worried.

How many of you are there? And how does the number of alters relate to the therapy process? Does it take longer, is it harder, etc? Also, I'm not fully DID, as we have the same memory bank, for the most part.

I'm stressed about what this means for my prognosis, or if it has less impact than perhaps the reasons for me splitting in the first place?

my therapist and I stopped counting at 2. she said it didnt matter how many alters I had other than whether or not I had 2 of the type of alters that met the diagnostic criteria for having DID. She told me regardless of how many alters I had it would take as many years to become one with two alters as it does for having many alters. it isnt numbers of alters that count its healing from the trauma and learning how not to depend upon dissociation as a coping tool. two alters can hold the same number and severity of traumas as hundreds of alters.

the more alters just breaks down/ categorizes /departmentalizes that trauma in more ways...

example ...

one internal system of alters can be one alter can be the embodiment of anger, frustration, emotional abuses and the second alter be the embodiment of fear, happiness, sadness, depression, physical abuses.

where as another person may have an internal system where they have...

an alter that is the embodiment of anger,
one that is frustration
one that is getting yelled at
one that is getting threatened
one that is afraid
one that is happiness
one that is sadness
one that is depression
one that is physically abused.

its all the same when dealing with treatment....whether its 2 alters holding the bag of many abuses/traumas/emotions or many many alters holding only one trauma/emotion/abuses.

what makes the treatment go longer for some and shorter for others is the pace in which each person and their internal system can go through the process.

some people have to at a snails pace where as others can go through the process relatively quickly and others are somewhere in between with how fast they can go through their therapy process.

example with me it took many many many years like at least 10 yrs to become one whole person again where as I know someone who was comparably equal in how categorical her internal system of alters was to mine and it only took her 4 years to become one whole person again.

give it some time and please dont compare what is going on with in you to others. your internal system is the way its supposed to be for you and mine was the way it was best for my internal system. you will see many peoples internal systems on here that are less and more categorical / compartmentalized then your system. it doesnt mean you were or were not abused as severe as they were. it just means they are the way they are because thats what their internal system had to be in order for them to survive and your internal system is the way it is because thats what was needed for you to survive.

I don't count my alters. I have more than I thought I did so I stopped counting. Who ever wants to talk at therapy can and does. I don't think the number of alters make a huge difference in treatment as long they are known to the therapist.

There are around 20 of us. Probably a few more, dont count really.

Thanks, everyone. I've always been compared to other people, so it is hard not to continue that myself. I think at my next t session I will get him to go over what he/we know so far, as in reasons, splits, effects, etc. Obviously neither of us know everything, or even close (I just started seeing him in April), but it's been a bit since we did up a summary.
I'm also thinking that perhaps it was just more than she was aware of, as we'd only really ever talked about the little ones before.
Amandalouise, thanks for the input, and for sharing your personal story with me.

we stopped counting once we reached 100

invisible butterfly
Re: How many?
we stopped counting once we reached 100

and

from us to!

There seems to be a lot of focus on the number that people seem to have. But the true test of healing is having a positive support team, that is willing to accept all of you and not discredit them.

I am a poly that has learned to work well with each other, for the sole reason that we teach respect first to those within then we deal accordingly with those on the outside.

regardless of how many you have to heal we all must face the journey.

The healing spiral of DID.
By Anderson
Written April 14, 2012.

Oh spirit brother/sister,
I feel your pain and sorrow,
Please come and share with me.

You have carried my pain for so long,
Hear me now; you no longer have to carry it no more alone.
I am stronger now and safer.

Before I was but a child lost in a world that did not care about me.
Now I am an adult looking to reclaim myself and others within me.
You no longer have to keep the secrets of the past to keep us safe.

I freely fallow you as you to journey back to the time that you were created to carry the pain we bear.
I now stand beside you, as you face the monsters of our past.
I stand proud and strong beside you, with my weapon in hand.

I feel the pain of each strike and cut, as we relive the truth together.
I feel the pain of loss hope and the internal pr*y to be allowed to die so that it will end.
Only to be allowed to heal so that it can begin again.

I feel your pain and hatred towards us as a whole, being forced to live only to keep the others safe from the truth and harm.
I to now crave that which you crave.
For how can I to live with the weight of such truth.

In my waken moments, I now see the scares and pain of everything you carried for me.
I sit and rock, to mourn that anyone should have to endure that which you had endured for me.
But now I can also see all that we have now, the safety and freedom from the monster of our past.
Just as you shared with me, now let me share with you the truth of where we are today.
We no longer have to endure but can be free.
Please let your brothers and sisters in spirit help you heal and be free!

As we heal you, we heal the whole.
Together we heal each strike and cut.
We release each other from the chains that have kept us slaves to the monsters of our past.

We are each a part of a whole.
Weak separated but strong together.
Let us be united against those, which wish to keep us separated.

Come with me on this spirit journey, allowing the pain and scares to be left behind.
Come with me to the present and feel all that we have now.
Come knowing you never have to endure again, that which you have in the past.

Come knowing that you are now loved and cherished for everything that you have done for us, that allowed us this chance to heal and grow.