[innocentjoy]

With the end of October marks the 6 month anniversary of starting therapy for the dissociative disorder. And I feel terrible. Horrible. Depressed and confused, exhausted and worn out.

I see my t tomorrow and will be telling him how horrible things are. I feel really bad for having expected to feel even a little bit better after 6 months. He explained when I started seeing him that things were relatively straightforward, and that his prognosis was good. So why do I feel worse than when I started seeing him?

I guess I'm just hoping someone will tell me it gets getter, and to hang in there, because at the moment, I'm losing all the great reasons for keeping up with this twisted game people call life. (not suicidal, just losing all my steam and fight).

[Claritytoo]

In the beginning of my therapy I felt the same. No big change. But as we worked on understanding our system therapy became difficult. No so much while in the therapy session but after, when I got home. I would sometimes feel exhausted, depressed, in foul mood, I often had more anxiety than before the session. It was horrible. But we stuck with it even when some of us wanted to stop. What I understand now is that as we learn more about each other and what we do it causes a lot of stuffed emotions to bubble up. These emotions are fear, anger, sadness etc. And it is these feelings that cause me to feel exhausted and miserable. But these are also feelings may of us weren't aware of. What I am feeling now is relief. So if I cry about session and the emotional pain I felt, I often feel relief from the emotional pain. Like a weight lifted off of me. 6 months is still in the beginning of therapy and I think what you are going through will be come better if you just stick with it. I wish good feelings.

[innocentjoy]

Thanks. It helps sometimes to know that it's not just me
I know what you mean about feeling worse after a session than before or during. Today's was really triggering for me, but was also an eye opener for me. I've been using a recent trauma as an excuse to feel all the feelings I had about the original stuff, because it's more tangible, easier to feel strongly about. My t kind of called me on it today, in a way. Hard to hear, but important. He also said that a lot of the issues are because of med changes still. So I need to wait that out.
I'm going to try some art therapy this afternoon on my own, see if that helps.
xo
IJ

[healinghearts]

We have felt that way too. It does get better. There is an ebb and flow but overall we are progressing forward.

Hang in there