[yoslos12]

Hi everybody,

It's been months since I've posted anything on any forums because I honestly don't know what's going on. I seem to be having symptoms of almost everything for some time or another and it's always changing. The most recent problems I've been having involve just not remembering things like if I actually said something to a person or if I just meant to. The same thing applies to actions. Did I do something or just think about doing it? I'm just not sure anymore. I'm actually not sure if I have anything to ask and I'm just rambling now so I'll stop. But thanks for taking your time to read this.

Yoslos12

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by yoslos12

Hi everybody,

It's been months since I've posted anything on any forums because I honestly don't know what's going on. I seem to be having symptoms of almost everything for some time or another and it's always changing. The most recent problems I've been having involve just not remembering things like if I actually said something to a person or if I just meant to. The same thing applies to actions. Did I do something or just think about doing it? I'm just not sure anymore. I'm actually not sure if I have anything to ask and I'm just rambling now so I'll stop. But thanks for taking your time to read this.

Yoslos12

read it and understand hope you feel better soon

[Sterella]

I know how you feel. I sometimes sift through my memory and ask myself "Did I really do this/say this? Or do I just think I did and really didn't?" These things can be frustrating, hugs to you though, it is no fun at all!

[innocentjoy]

I hate feeling like that! I go through times where I can't tell if something happened or I just dreamed it, or if I went through with something or just thought about doing it, or imagined doing it. Or when I talk to people, I can't remember if I'd already told them something, or just planned on telling them. It's so unnerving, I feel so unsure of everything.
xo
IJ

[Catsarecool]

Thats normal though isn't it?

[innocentjoy]

Which part art you saying is normal? With a dissociative disorder, I'm sure it can be expected to go through times like this. The difference is when I feel like that, for me it's not normal, and it's constant. Not knowing if you made the phone call, mailed the letter, talked to someone, etc can be normal, if it's not in excess, and not impacting your life. When it gets worse than normal, and starts impacting your life I wouldn't call it normal. I guess it's just the level of how much/often/extreme these things are taking place

[Catsarecool]

I don't have a dissociative disorder just happe ned apon this post, I have sometimes got confused between dreams and reality, thoughts and whats actualy been said but thats normal.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Catsarecool

Thats normal though isn't it?

for some people it is and for others it isnt...only you and your own treatment providers (medical doctor, therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist.. what ever treatment providers you have) can say whether something is normal for you or not.

my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers. they will be able to assess what is going on and tell you whether its normal or not for you, your health issues, your meds and what have you.

[yoslos12]

Thank you all for the replies. In response to "normal" stuff, I've begun to think that feeling weird is normal, so I figure I may as well get used to it. But this morning, my alarm went off and I looked at my clock and it wasn't the time I set my alarm for. It was weird. Reality/dreams/thoughts are becoming a blur and I'm getting scared to talk to people because I don't know if I already asked them a question or something like that and I don't want to look stupid.

[Lexi232]

i get that way too. does it get any better for you depending on sleep or eating habits or meds? mine does. i automatically assume that the things im not sure about. is just a odd concidence. that way is better for me than assuming its true and then finding out later that its not. a lot less people are involved too when i stick to assuming not.
in my case its usually a mixture of all that i mentioned above. but my meds are the only one that is the def. of them, because without my meds, that dont happen.
i was told that a lot of side effects arent known, and one thing that isnt tested very much is the doseage and combinations of the meds. that last part is what can play in to effect more. and it isnt known because its not had any supportive evidence by the drug companies to collaberate this. but it made sense when i was told that.
the fact that you mention its getting worse makes me think of meds. but it could be a number of things, more stress, life changes, phyical health, daily habits, etc...

******
also im NOT a doctor so.. techically u shouldnt listen to me. but i would suggest bring this up with your pdoc and see what he thinks on the matter and if it could apply to you.
******

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[yoslos12]

Hey thank for the reply. It seems like I really don't sleep much and eating is just weird to me too. I work nights so everything is always messed up. I also don't take meds. I've never been able to tell a real professional anything. I've been sent to them MANY times and then just convince them that I'm fine and leave. I've gone on my own twice and that's as far as it got...just going. I froze up and couldn't talk about anything. I've experienced symptoms of everything it seems so it makes me wonder if I just need to take a break from it all and just spend some time thinking about what's important to me and what's real and just trying to find a real direction to my life instead of wandering aimlessly and just letting time pass. I'm also really sorry if I'm rambling right now but I have so many thoughts going through my head right now about where I've been, where I am and where I'm going. Well, I feel like I'm going nowhere but I'm kinda used to that now. I'm honestly starting to feel like the best way to be better is to pretend to be better. And then if I fake it for others long enough, maybe I'll start to believe it myself. I finally posted here for the first time in a while just because I didn't know what else to do. I don't even know why I did it since I can't seem to find words for anything.

[Lexi232]

sry i haven't replied back yet. i am having times (more often than most) where i can't concentrait enough to even understand thing that i'm reading and i have to keep rereadng over and over.
faking it until u make it can work, but if it caused by something that will require working through it to feel better. the faking it will only work to prolong the time until it will get faced...
maybe you can print out this thread and hand it to a therapist or pdc that you choose. that way i can kinda give the an idea as to what areas to help you in. and also saves you from having to try and retell it all and searching for words.
something i do a lot, is grabbing a pencil, and paper and just get my feings out through scribbling. usually doesnt look like much but it helps get feelings out even when i cant describe it or even when i cant draw a picture (literally its a scribble that i do. the more intense the feeling, is the more harder i press down on the pencil. the more anxious i am, the quicker the scribbles are scribbled... but most of the time i dont even think about it and just go off scribbling like crazy).

[yoslos12]

Hey thank you. I have the same problem a lot where I have to read the same thing over and over again before I actually can think about it. Or I'll just keep repeating the same few words to myself over and over while my mind wanders somewhere else. I feel like I've been remembering what I've been doing and what I really haven't but at the same time, I know I still need to go in and see someone about this. But thank you all for the continuing support!