[Switch]

So it's been a while since I've popped my head into this forum, but today I feel the need to reconnect. It's been a while since my last disassociation - almost a year - but I'm starting to feel the pulls of it again. My T brought it up in therapy for the first time a few weeks ago, and made the connection between a traumatic event and my disassociations which for some reason I hadn't quite made the connection to. Which is silly because that's probably where everything came from.

But what really brought me here is that I've recently started seeing someone new, and although he has been my friend for almost two years now I never brought up my disassociations. The topic of DID came up last night in conversation though and he said "I've always wondered what it's like", so I explained what I have seen from others... and then I opened up and explained what I go though (which is very similar but also very different to DID).

He was super respectful and curious, not just about what I experience, but also what to do, and he realized he had actually met one of my alters (I had completely forgotten, even though I knew about it). We reflected on how that situation had been handled (badly) and talked about what he should do if that happens.

I even told him about a few of my alters in detail, explaining quirks and basic personalities that I knew, including one particularly nasty personality.

But even though it's gone so well, I'm worried I scared him away. And what's worse is that now it's become so on my mind, along with the trauma I've been blocking out, I can almost hear them and I've started feeling them again in the back of my head.

I don't want to lose him, and I feel like if I lose control I will.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Switch

So it's been a while since I've popped my head into this forum, but today I feel the need to reconnect. It's been a while since my last disassociation - almost a year - but I'm starting to feel the pulls of it again. My T brought it up in therapy for the first time a few weeks ago, and made the connection between a traumatic event and my disassociations which for some reason I hadn't quite made the connection to. Which is silly because that's probably where everything came from.

But what really brought me here is that I've recently started seeing someone new, and although he has been my friend for almost two years now I never brought up my disassociations. The topic of DID came up last night in conversation though and he said "I've always wondered what it's like", so I explained what I have seen from others... and then I opened up and explained what I go though (which is very similar but also very different to DID).

He was super respectful and curious, not just about what I experience, but also what to do, and he realized he had actually met one of my alters (I had completely forgotten, even though I knew about it). We reflected on how that situation had been handled (badly) and talked about what he should do if that happens.

I even told him about a few of my alters in detail, explaining quirks and basic personalities that I knew, including one particularly nasty personality.

But even though it's gone so well, I'm worried I scared him away. And what's worse is that now it's become so on my mind, along with the trauma I've been blocking out, I can almost hear them and I've started feeling them again in the back of my head.

I don't want to lose him, and I feel like if I lose control I will.

according to what you posted it doesnt seem like he is pulling away from you. everything you posted about your interaction with him on this topic has been positive....

that said the only way you will know if he is ok with this and wants to see more of you is if you ask...him...lol right we cant tell you he is pulling away from you because based on your post he has been nothing but supportive and positive about this, plus we are not him so we cant say what he's thinking.

for some people in treatment they are able to develop co consciousness (being more aware of them, hearing them, communicating with them, working with them....) and some dont..with me I was able to develop co consciousness on a limited few. the rest no but healing was still possible.

my suggestion if this continues to bother you talk with your guy and ask him where he stands and talk with your treatment providers, they will be able to explain to you what is happening with you and your alters.

[Fuzzybear]

[Switch]

I just want to add to this. He's say with my alters a few times now because they did start coming out, and the ones he's met (2 of them) really respect him. I've had alters like and hate partners of mine but never respect. My "bad girl mean self destructive" personality actually calmed down, made a deal not to cut me and won't have sex with him because id be mad all because he said he wouldn't treat her like a monster. And he didn't. I'm not sure how long she'll keep those promises but she was honest in making them.