Spilled the beans....

Today I was in session, and we were talking about a recent flashback. I talked about something that one of my alters experienced when I was 13, and she got SUPER mad at me. Like raging mad. It was such a surreal experience. I had told her before that I wouldn't tell her stories untill she was ready to, and I guess because we weren't talking about the subject and it slipped out so quick, neither of us caught it until it was out.

In my mind, it wans't anything to be upset or embarrassed about, and it wasn't doing anything wrong, but she is much more private than the rest of us, and earlier this year we made a deal that I can talk about all of the other issues, but hers. I would let her tell her story in her own time, and in return she would let me talk without putting up the stops everytime it got triggering.

I need to work with her to regain the trust and figure out a way to make her feel better, but I'm having a hard time deciding what might be best. She's not at the moment planning on causing mayhem because she knows it was a mistake and I feel badly and want to find a solution. As well, my dr promised her he wouln't be telling anyone, so that helped.

I really want her to learn that sharing is okay, and doens't always lead to us being hurt, and also that I am still respecting her boundaries. Starting next month I will be seeing a counselor from an agency specifically for women who were s/abused and I think that will be the person for her to learn to open up to, as all of the women at this agency are very respectful, sensitive and safe.

Anyways, anyone else have issues with sharing and how to work things through in a civil way that builds trust between parts and keeps the peace?

I hate feeling like I've goofed, especially to my younger parts because everyone else in their life always let them down. I don't want to be that person to them.

Thanks for reading,
IJ

Well, this is great progress though naturally she will feel scared and angry at the same time. She's allowed to feel angry, not at you but at what happened to her. Allow her, if you can to express her feelings but also let her know she is safe now. Hugs

Thanks! It helps to have that pointed out. Sometimes progress feels pretty awful, but seeing as we are doing okay for now, I hope she will be able to learn that some people can be trusted with information.
I need to find a way to spend more time with her, and help build up her trust in others.
xoxoxo

IJ