[ThisWayOut]

Last week i had given my new t a written explanation of the different "sides" of me with the intention of talking about it today when I saw her. I was pretty anxious about it before hand, but when she started asking questions I completely froze up I'm pretty sure it triggered something because I was terrified.
So t has a concept of it, but I wasn't able to explain more.
I realized later that I should have asked her to ask about the less vulnerable aspects, but she went for the most scared one. Now I'm not sure if things are OK, or she's just trying to "placate" t coz she thinks t is scary. Trying to be a "good girl" and show t that I can complete the activity she asked me to do in session? Or finally feel like I can trust her a bit? (Questioning this because I left feeling like t was really mad at me over something I said. SJ tends to try to placate people if i think they are mad at me...).
Would it be inappropriate to leave a message for t saying I figured out how to fold the cranes? (Feels like the little kid side wants to tug at her coattails to show her we did good). Or should I just tell her next week?
Should I include that I'm feeling SJ really close, and feeling very vulnerable? Or do i again leave that for next week? (T is not available between sessions, and phone calls have not been useful in the past, so I would just be giving her info with no expectation of a call back).

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

Would it be inappropriate to leave a message for t saying I figured out how to fold the cranes? (Feels like the little kid side wants to tug at her coattails to show her we did good). Or should I just tell her next week?
Should I include that I'm feeling SJ really close, and feeling very vulnerable? Or do i again leave that for next week? (T is not available between sessions, and phone calls have not been useful in the past, so I would just be giving her info with no expectation of a call back).

I sometimes think my T is mad at me too (and do the placating thing), but it always turns out that he isn't.

It doesn't sound inappropriate at all. Just be prepared at next session to talk about why you called! That sounds like the sort of thing i'd want to text my T about, then i'd feel slightly embarrassed the next time I see him.
As for the vulnerability issues, a longer, in-session discussion might be best. If you don't want to separate the 2 issues, then maybe just wait till next session?

If she's not available in between sessions, maybe you could add to the message that you are not expecting a call back. Still, she might see such a phone message as off limits. But you don't know that unless you try. It is possible that she might say something about calling in between sessions too.

I wonder though, if the need to contact is more of a result of thinking she is angry at you, or maybe a need for reassurance of the relationship?

Hope it goes well.

[ThisWayOut]

Originally Posted by skies_

I sometimes think my T is mad at me too (and do the placating thing), but it always turns out that he isn't.

so far, that has been my experience with this t also...

Originally Posted by skies_

It doesn't sound inappropriate at all. Just be prepared at next session to talk about why you called! That sounds like the sort of thing i'd want to text my T about, then i'd feel slightly embarrassed the next time I see him.

As for the vulnerability issues, a longer, in-session discussion might be best. If you don't want to separate the 2 issues, then maybe just wait till next session?[/qoute]
I think I may wait. having thoguht about it overnight, I think it's something that can maybe wait till saturday... it hits in waves though, so I may well end up at least leaving a message asking if she could help me talk about this next time.

Originally Posted by skies_

If she's not available in between sessions, maybe you could add to the message that you are not expecting a call back. Still, she might see such a phone message as off limits. But you don't know that unless you try. It is possible that she might say something about calling in between sessions too.

i have called and just left messages in the past, which she said were ok, but that she doesn't always have the ability to call back. She seems open to getting info via messages and stuff I write to her, but I don't want to push my boundaries. maybe I need to include a discussion clarifying what is and is not ok with her?

Originally Posted by skies_

I wonder though, if the need to contact is more of a result of thinking she is angry at you, or maybe a need for reassurance of the relationship?

Hope it goes well.

thanks. I think it's probablly some of both. i have such a hard time maintaining connection that, whenever somethign really vulnerable comes up, I need that reassurance that 1) she's not mad or frustrated, and 2) that she's still there. :/ I wish this wasn't such a hard learning process.