Always changing

Life is so full of coping and ones gotta wear a different face every few minutes. Everytime I step out the front door we got to look masculine for appearance sake. When I go to work the carpenters need to come out. Everytime my son looks at me, gotta look strong. A phone call can affect change.

When I'm relaxed, I can't be too fem, even though this time of life a fem alter is chosen host personality instead of the renegade because it's a family time of life. It feels like a lightning jolt every hour or two,- or minute by minute really. Then there's the cook, and house keeper...

I'm a rapid cycler/switcher, even in bipolar which I'm beginning to feel that there is an overlap there.

I'm sure this will bring up tons of postings. My system works together since 35 years ago to appear one. The original never grew up and I've been a hollow shell most of my life, and the alters try filling in the holes. Now we can fake it to appear one. Is that a good thing? Probably not because we go on living our crazy unchecked.

All the switching does take a toll, because your normal Sally doesn't experience such things. It's extra work!. Even when reading roll call, I feel a change per name, like each name effects a change.

I'm so used to this it's normal. Makes sense? I wish I can just be one and not deal with the rest.

I'm scared to push the button, but here we go.

Alwayschanging2 glad you did push the button to post your message. Even though I am not really the best person to understand exactly what you are going through, I do feel the pain and discomfort your situation causes you.

I know what it is like to want to be anonymous. It helps relieve some tension. If you ever feel like private messaging someone, feel free to PM me or any of the community liasons. It is just helpful to know someone cares.

I have a whole crew inside me too, but somehow I don't let them all have their way. I am really struggling with trying to empathize with DID so if you can help me understand better, I would appreciate hearing from you.

Deleted.

Deleted end thread

what did you want to say.

it's okay to post in here

Another alter went through here and deleted everything I posted last night. I'm the only one that likes talking on here. Sigh.