[kindoflost]

A lot of the times it is being said how meditation can contribute to depersonalization etc. This might be true, but on the other hand, the potential is already in you, you are just showing it in meditation, where you continue to run from what is to be felt. So nothing special really adds on ... you are just who you are in mediation therefore ...

However, I think the following article is a very good one in showing how we bring this defenses into the meditation and how we sometimes think we are making progress, but in fact we're still the same.

Although I still agree meditation can contribute to be more mindfull and to be able to at least not act out the anger on the others and rather be whatever you are, even if you are avoidant for example.

Here is the article. It's a bit long, but it is worth reading. I was fascinated but how well it is constructed. It shows many things: how everyone has wounds, how we all use similar defenses and therefore nothing specialy wrong with this, how this applies to meditation, etc.

The Forum for Contemplative Studies dissociation « Resources

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by kindoflost

A lot of the times it is being said how meditation can contribute to depersonalization etc. This might be true, but on the other hand, the potential is already in you, you are just showing it in meditation, where you continue to run from what is to be felt. So nothing special really adds on ... you are just who you are in mediation therefore ...

However, I think the following article is a very good one in showing how we bring this defenses into the meditation and how we sometimes think we are making progress, but in fact we're still the same.

Although I still agree meditation can contribute to be more mindful and to be able to at least not act out the anger on the others and rather be whatever you are, even if you are avoidant for example.

Here is the article. It's a bit long, but it is worth reading. I was fascinated but how well it is constructed. It shows many things: how everyone has wounds, how we all use similar defenses and therefore nothing specialy wrong with this, how this applies to meditation, etc.

The Forum for Contemplative Studies dissociation « Resources

yes some locations do say meditation causes or is the same as depersonalization but .....here in my location..... we do not consider meditation the same as depersonalization nor the cause of depersonalization. in fact the diagnostic criteria for dissociative disorders including depersonalization here in america is that it is not caused by ritualistic /cultural practices (ie religion, meditation, fasting, vision quests....)

great article though, loved reading it.

[kaliope]

that was really informative......thanks for sharing

[kindoflost]

You're welcome. I'm glad.

[Butternut]

Saved that article to favorites. Thanks.

[kindoflost]

While the article might be usefull, I realized it can - at least in me - quickly lead to "victim mentality". It is of course usefull to have a knowledge, but you can quickly put in the victim mentality by finding excuses why the goal is not reachable.

My biggest problem is for example the "superiority complex part" - you can call it perfectionism or narcisism, doesn't mather. However, I see that if I actuly DO grasp a thinking process and it's background, I quickly judge it because it doesn't fit to the naricistic persona - kind of "I should get rid of it". This happens in a second, and I have to be very aware of what is happening.

However, what am trying to say is, this doesn't mean this obstacle can't be aknowledged. Even THIS mechanism needs to be only watched. But then again, it can quickly be judged again. But only by learning to just observe it, you get better at this ... being with yourself and allowing thinking to arise with judging it or the finding excuses for it.

But at the same time, it is usefull to know that background mechanism of perfectionism for example (if we take the narcistic problems with meditation) ... you get more confidence. More grip of how it is you that can solve this problem and again, how it is part of YOUR mental fabrications ... and that's what the article is all about.

[kindoflost]

Originally Posted by Butternut

Saved that article to favorites. Thanks.

No problem.

Though, I use to put things "for the later" when I'm actualy ignorant of my unwillgness to read it and it is a kind of magical thinking with postponing it. So watch out for this one

Thank you for that link. I added it to my reading list.

[kindoflost]

You're welcome.

Since my issues are mainly revolving around narcisism, or let's say we all have it, but some of us (me) have bigger wounds, so if you find yourself in this with thing like:

(killing) other family member's happines with envy and anger,
hard staying with them for them is you are pulled away to your own plans,
having hard time feeling compasion when needed because of false image and fears,

here are some of the antidotes, in the following talk. By listening to her voice you get flooded with loving kindness already, so you don't even have to listen to the content

Dharma Seed - Michele McDonald's Dharma Talks

Tara's voice work the same way:

Dharma Seed - Tara Brach's Dharma Talks at Aloka Vihara