[BrightShadows]

Hello everyone,
I just joined today but I was reading some of your posts and you sounded like pretty cool people so I figured I would go ahead and post an introduction.
I have absolutely no idea who I am, which is terribly confusing. There is me, and at the moment I honestly can't even figure out a name that fits me, but I seem to always be here. There is Gregory, who I was completely sure was a imaginary friend, but I can't get rid of him. I don't really want to get rid of him but still I am not completely sure he is imaginary any more.
I thought that everyone had these conversations in their heads and that they had different opinions on the same subject, but apparently not. My last therapist said that I didn't have DID and she didn't act very worried, even though it was affecting me adversely. I stopped going to see her because I felt like she was ignoring my symptoms.
So I have no working diagnosis but I do have plenty of voices in my head and they are getting louder lately and more confusing.
I was just wondering if there was anytime you guys felt like you were losing your personal identity and if you found anything that helped?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by BrightShadows

Hello everyone,
I just joined today but I was reading some of your posts and you sounded like pretty cool people so I figured I would go ahead and post an introduction.
I have absolutely no idea who I am, which is terribly confusing. There is me, and at the moment I honestly can't even figure out a name that fits me, but I seem to always be here. There is Gregory, who I was completely sure was a imaginary friend, but I can't get rid of him. I don't really want to get rid of him but still I am not completely sure he is imaginary any more.
I thought that everyone had these conversations in their heads and that they had different opinions on the same subject, but apparently not. My last therapist said that I didn't have DID and she didn't act very worried, even though it was affecting me adversely. I stopped going to see her because I felt like she was ignoring my symptoms.
So I have no working diagnosis but I do have plenty of voices in my head and they are getting louder lately and more confusing.
I was just wondering if there was anytime you guys felt like you were losing your personal identity and if you found anything that helped?

welcome... just a little bit of information....DID is a mental disorder where someone has many identities rather than just one (the person born to this body) example wit in me there was Amanda ( me- the one born to this body) then I underwent extreme trauma before I was 5 yrs old. this extreme trauma caused my (amanda) mind to dissociate (some locations call this splitting/separating) into many different identities Amanda, Rainy, Thelma, Sunny......though there was discontinuity (differences between the alters and I) for me reality testing remained intact, meaning I knew who I was and my alters knew who they were, what their jobs, purposes reasons for being was.

you stated your past therapist said you dont have DID... if you dont agree with that you can go through some special diagnostic tests that can tell you whether you have DID and what type of alter gregory is (there are many different mental disorders and many different types of alters that come with the many different mental disorders, plus hearing voices can happen with just about every mental disorder out there)

my point is the only way you will be able to figure out whether gregory is the imaginary friend you thought he was vs having DID is by contacting a mental health treatment provider and going through the testing process. the tests can be tiresome but going through them was well worth it for me and what helped was after being diagnosed my treatment was things like grounding, breathing, meds for anxiety/depression.....

my suggestion contact a treatment provider then can help you with this regardless of what /who gregory is and regardless of who/what the voices are.

[BrightShadows]

Ok, sorry if I offended you at all, I don't mean to. I'm just extremely confused at the moment and more than a bit depressed. I was also really tired, which wasn't my smartest choice for starting a post.
Thanks so much for the information, I'll check it out.
DID is probably, honestly not my diagnosis, I'm just really sick of not knowing why I feel like I do and being unable to find a way to make it better.
I am dissociating, which I just lately figured out wasn't the same as DID. I don't feel connected to myself at all, my body feels weird.
Also is there anyway to delete a post?
I tried last night once I thought about what I had written but I couldn't find a way.
Thanks

[BrightShadows]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

welcome... just a little bit of information....DID is a mental disorder where someone has many identities rather than just one (the person born to this body) example wit in me there was Amanda ( me- the one born to this body) then I underwent extreme trauma before I was 5 yrs old. this extreme trauma caused my (amanda) mind to dissociate (some locations call this splitting/separating) into many different identities Amanda, Rainy, Thelma, Sunny......though there was discontinuity (differences between the alters and I) for me reality testing remained intact, meaning I knew who I was and my alters knew who they were, what their jobs, purposes reasons for being was.

you stated your past therapist said you dont have DID... if you dont agree with that you can go through some special diagnostic tests that can tell you whether you have DID and what type of alter gregory is (there are many different mental disorders and many different types of alters that come with the many different mental disorders, plus hearing voices can happen with just about every mental disorder out there)

my point is the only way you will be able to figure out whether gregory is the imaginary friend you thought he was vs having DID is by contacting a mental health treatment provider and going through the testing process. the tests can be tiresome but going through them was well worth it for me and what helped was after being diagnosed my treatment was things like grounding, breathing, meds for anxiety/depression.....

my suggestion contact a treatment provider then can help you with this regardless of what /who gregory is and regardless of who/what the voices are.

Thanks for the info on different kinds of disassociation, that was really helpful. I didn't know that there were so many different kinds.
(hopefully my other reply came through. or this will sound weird.)

[Gr3tta]

Hi brightshadows! Even if it turns out you dont have dissociation, you're welcome to post here while figuring it all out.

[TheFuZZieONE]

BrightShadows,

This forum isn't just for DID but for all the disorders that involve disassociation. It sounds to me like you experience at least some form of disassociation, and it does not offend me at all that you're posting to this forum. Feel free to post or send me a personal message, and I'll be happy to help with what I can. I know what it feels like to suffer in silence, so I encourage you to open up, but only if you feel comfortable doing so.

Sincerely,

Jen :-)

[sadandconfused]

Hi BrightShadows, hope you stay around for support and please don't worry about what you post here. There are many people who can relate to what you are experiencing and knowing you are not alone can be a tremendous help!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by BrightShadows

Thanks for the info on different kinds of disassociation, that was really helpful. I didn't know that there were so many different kinds.
(hopefully my other reply came through. or this will sound weird.)

you are welcome question... what do you mean by the word ....disassociation...reason I ask is because in my location disassociation (pronounced dis association ) is when a person purposely stops doing something ie I disassociated from doing work this weekend, meaning i purposely told my job I would not be available this weekend due to some family time events this weekend....

where as the term dissociation (no letter a in the word) in my location means a person gets triggered and feels numb, spacy, foggy minded disconnected from their self or their environment.

not knowing which term you mean but taking it from sentence context Im assuming you mean the information found in the link (my signature line) on dissociative disorders.....yes here in america there are many kinds of dissociative disorders. Dissociation is like a connecting rope. At one end of the rope is normal dissociative events/symptoms that every human being has and from there on through to the other end of the rope what my location calls abnormal /disordered levels of dissociation. what you find in my signature link is only those dissociative disorders recognized in the USA. other locations may recognize other dissociative disorders.

Originally Posted by BrightShadows

Ok, sorry if I offended you at all, I don't mean to. I'm just extremely confused at the moment and more than a bit depressed. I was also really tired, which wasn't my smartest choice for starting a post.
Thanks so much for the information, I'll check it out.
DID is probably, honestly not my diagnosis, I'm just really sick of not knowing why I feel like I do and being unable to find a way to make it better.
I am dissociating, which I just lately figured out wasn't the same as DID. I don't feel connected to myself at all, my body feels weird.
Also is there anyway to delete a post?
I tried last night once I thought about what I had written but I couldn't find a way.
Thanks

Hi BrightShadows, welcome to PC and this forum. You sounded just fine and your story could've been mine! When I was a teenager I had a major identity crisis not knowing who I am even gender wise. I felt awkward but didn't want to seem different then normal people and went into denial- which made me feel even more so. I was fighting myself all my life. Later in life we accepted being like this that we all finally relaxed. Even today I'm always changing, cycling through alters and moods throughout the day. My basic ID is the body's name and I am who ever is up front. I'm aware of my alters because we talk, discuss, vote, make fun of, and hang out together. We work together to keep this system functioning in life. True blue DID is as described in the DSM5 is the extreme side of dissociation. Dissociation is a spectrum, and most of us live there. I hope you keep coming back and tell us more hun!

[BrightShadows]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Hi BrightShadows, welcome to PC and this forum. You sounded just fine and your story could've been mine! When I was a teenager I had a major identity crisis not knowing who I am even gender wise. I felt awkward but didn't want to seem different then normal people and went into denial- which made me feel even more so. I was fighting myself all my life. Later in life we accepted being like this that we all finally relaxed. Even today I'm always changing, cycling through alters and moods throughout the day. My basic ID is the body's name and I am who ever is up front. I'm aware of my alters because we talk, discuss, vote, make fun of, and hang out together. We work together to keep this system functioning in life. True blue DID is as described in the DSM5 is the extreme side of dissociation. Dissociation is a spectrum, and most of us live there. I hope you keep coming back and tell us more hun!

Thanks so much for this AlwaysChanging, I am going through the gender identity crisis right now and I don't know if its that or if its something else entirely. All I know is that I feel extremely unconnected from myself and everyone else, none of it feels quite real. I'm glad you guys figured it out, that gives me hope. I have a T appointment this week, finally made an appointment so hopefully they can help me figure things out.

[BrightShadows]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

you are welcome question... what do you mean by the word ....disassociation...reason I ask is because in my location disassociation (pronounced dis association ) is when a person purposely stops doing something ie I disassociated from doing work this weekend, meaning i purposely told my job I would not be available this weekend due to some family time events this weekend....

where as the term dissociation (no letter a in the word) in my location means a person gets triggered and feels numb, spacy, foggy minded disconnected from their self or their environment.

not knowing which term you mean but taking it from sentence context Im assuming you mean the information found in the link (my signature line) on dissociative disorders.....yes here in america there are many kinds of dissociative disorders. Dissociation is like a connecting rope. At one end of the rope is normal dissociative events/symptoms that every human being has and from there on through to the other end of the rope what my location calls abnormal /disordered levels of dissociation. what you find in my signature link is only those dissociative disorders recognized in the USA. other locations may recognize other dissociative disorders.

Oh I meant the second one (dissociation), I feel that way most of the time, I hardly ever feel connected to my environment and never to myself. Words get mixed up in my head sometimes and I add in letters until it looks right. Got it wrong that time oops.

Originally Posted by BrightShadows

Thanks so much for this AlwaysChanging, I am going through the gender identity crisis right now and I don't know if its that or if its something else entirely. All I know is that I feel extremely unconnected from myself and everyone else, none of it feels quite real. I'm glad you guys figured it out, that gives me hope. I have a T appointment this week, finally made an appointment so hopefully they can help me figure things out.

That's awesome sweety! I hope it goes good for you. I'm so used to putting so much in the first meeting thinking everything will be solved, then getting disappointed! Lol. It's usually a "hi, I'm so and so. Nice to meet you, why are you here?" lol..."uhhh". That has to be the worst, at least for me it is.

I say go with your gut feelings. Only you know who you are regardless what anybody says. Everyone else is guessing at what happens in your head, only you know. My take away is I become someone else, period. I don't just hear voices or smell nonexistent things or see stuff walking though walls, me disappears, so all can

Possible trigger:

Kizz my azz

. Lol. After 45 years, you just don't care anymore! Lol. Good luck Hun