My Surgery

Well my surgery took place with some complications. It was supposed to take three hours, but ended up taking seven hours. One major setback was the doctor had to cut out a bunch of scar tissue that built up inside of me due to 9 other previous surgeries. The pain was unbearable for almost 24 hours afterwards, and I was wondering how come I didn't dissociate then! I switched a few times during the initial accident, but why not this time! Why can't I control it like so many others are able to do? I know I'm whining, but isn't this the whole reason alter personalities are subconsciously created? Mine seem to just create disturbances in my life. The only good thing I can ever remember an alter ever doing for me was keeping me alive until the ambulance arrived. In fact, as I laid on the asphalt dying, my alter had the audacity to treat the EMT's like they were inconveniencing me! I said to them, "excuse me, can't you see I'm on the phone!!," when the EMT was trying to put the oxygen mask on my face.

I have to admit my actions when I'm under the control of an alter are pretty funny. And if it wasn't ME actually acting like a diva, I would totally get a kick out of some of the things I do. But where is my alter now? This pain is awful! There is no use in experiencing this pain. No benefit. Just painful pain!!

That's my gripe for today. Yes I'm blessed to be alive, and yes there are people who even die during surgery. All in all, I'm a very lucky gal. Now if this pain would just subside, I'll be just great!

Hi TheFuzzieOne. Sorry to hear you are feeling pain after surgery. I try to practice mindfulness. Sometimes exercises like this help

Breathing exercise
If you are feeling very anxious or angry or just want to calm down, you can try a breathing exercise that takes the attention away from the trigger of anxiety to a simple tool of counting breaths.

Find a comfortable position seated or laying down. Begin to relax your breathing. Silently count 1 on the inhale, and two on the exhale. Then silently count 3 on the inhale and 4 on the exhale. Continue up to 10 or until you lose the count then return to one. No judgement. I sometimes end up at 18 then smile and return to 1. The idea is to focus on the breath and the counting and not get sucked into the anxiety or anger trigger. Also works to quiet the mind.
Getting sleep may be the single one thing that keeps me in balance. If you are not sleeping or having bad side affects, contact your doctor or psychiatrist and tell them what is happening so they can make adjustments.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

I'm glad you made it through your surgery. The pain can be very hard to take, though, so I hope they gave you enough meds. Feel free to gripe if it helps you to feel better. We are all great listeners here.

I'm on pain medication, but I've built up a tolerance to it, as this is my 10th major surgery since my accident which occurred on July 28, 2014. After a full 24 hours and an understanding of my medication tolerance, they finally started increasing my doses. My pain has went from a 10 to an eight. It's as low as 5 for a while, but then I'll have to cough and it hurts even worse. This was major surgery of the stomach, so coughing especially hurts. I appreciate you letting me vent. I just wish I could dissociate on command and make this all go away!

Sleep is also hard for me to come by since January 2014. That's when my alters started keeping me up all night talking. I'm never aware that it happened till half way through the next day. Sneaky alters take advantage of my sleep to come out and do things. I haven't yet learn to control this about myself. In fact, "sleep talking" is what finally made me seek out therapy and a psychiatrist. Not sleeping was taking it's toll on me!

I'm glad that you are getting help with the pain. Alters happen when they happen. By their own definition, where they are is not in our control. The anasthetic can also play havoc with our emotions.

Go easy on yourself. It will take a while for you to get better after the surgery. Try to do things to distract yourself. Maybe some nice music....... breathing...... Allow yourself to mend.

Thinking of you.

I'm glad that you made it through. I'm sorry for your discomfort and situation. I always thought that I took pain well, being able to bury it and not think about it. But for real intense pain, I don't think anyone cares to feel it leaving me in charge to deal with it. It seems like everytime I was in the hospital, I slept through the initial healing. It seems pain makes me tired. Heal well!

Thank you everyone!

Possum220, unfortunately that seams to be the case for me, but some people do seem to have more control than others. I've been only able to call my alter fully out on command once in my life, and that was through self meditation/hypnosis. Thank you for your concern though!!

Alwayschanging2, thank you as always for your support! I think you're right in that no one wants to feel these feelings. Not even my alters. I have a hard time sleeping here. Especially since I need to press the pain button every 8 minutes! That doesn't make for easy sleeping ��

Hello All,

I'm still in the hospital and so have a lot of time to think. And I think I figured out what made my alter come out to help me the last time I was in the hospital.

** trigger warning **

One of my alters I believe was born on a night I was raped. I was forcibly sodomized at age 18 and got no medical or social support. I was living abroad and didn't make any friends yet either. Well, to make a long story short, it was a horrible experience, and I believe at least one of my alters were born to take the pain of what was going on at the time.

When I was ran over by a truck last July, my left leg was almost ripped off of me, and I was almost entirely split in half. My vagina and **** were also split in half, almost like they were after I was raped. I think that's why the alter took over after the accident, then on and off while I was in the hospital.

The pain of being raped, and the pain of my accident were similar. This last surgery was a stomach surgery, and though it was painful, it is a different type of pain.

**end trigger**

So there you have it. That's why I think no alters came out to help me this time. I answered my own question. Yay!!

Oh hunny I'm so sorry that you have had to endure all that! Omg, that's just so awful! I'm glad to hear you in better spirits about it all. I pray and hope for a speedy recovery both mentally and physically. Just get well!

May I ask what medication you're on? OxyContin, Dilaudid, Opana, MSContin...?
Just wondering.
My best wishes and hugs
Tom

Right now I'm only on Dilauded in IV form cause I can't take pills. Normally I'm on:

OxyContin 40mg x2 daily
Percocet 10/324 x3 daily
Lyrica 150mg x2 daily
Amitryptiline 20mg x1 daily
Lexapro 20mg x1 daily

.
Glad u made it thru was thinking of u today. Your comment to the EMTS gave us the first laugh we've had in weeks.. Darn alters tho. Hang in there. Amazed u can post so soon. Please keep us updated. Healing thoughts sent your way......

How you mending FuzzieOne?