[canuck1971]

not sure why am so upset, just thought had dissociation under control, was actually feeling good today
then T blindsided me telling me teen part has been emailing her

just worried to think what else I dont know

[CANDC]

Hi canuck. Dissociation is a mystery to me. I have had some discussions with people that have it, and I can see some of the elements of it in me, but I have a fairly reliable observer that keeps tabs on everyone in my head so I usually know what is transpiring.
But it must be so frustrating if something is happening that you are not aware of.

I find practicing mindfulness helps me be more aware of all the parts.
psychcentral.com/blog/.../new-to-mindfulness-how-to-get-started/

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[QUOTE=CANDC;4403070]Hi canuck. Dissociation is a mystery to me. I have had some discussions with people that have it, and I can see some of the elements of it in me, but I have a fairly reliable observer that keeps tabs on everyone in my head so I usually know what is transpiring.
But it must be so frustrating if something is happening that you are not aware of.
I find practicing mindfulness helps me be more aware of all the parts.

It is part of my DID. Can come in handy like when my house is a ness + my alter who believes if it's clean outside people will think we are normal, comes out to tidy up! They usually come out for a reason. Did yr T tell u what the alter wanted to talk about? One of mine who called the T didn't feel she was getting anytime to talk in a session. Feeling ignored. Easy fix. How did your T feel about it? U didn't really say how u felt.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by canuck1971

not sure why am so upset, just thought had dissociation under control, was actually feeling good today
then T blindsided me telling me teen part has been emailing her

just worried to think what else I dont know

When this happened to me and I told my therapist I was worried about what else my alters are donig that I cant remember, she smiled and reminded me that one not remembering things is part of having DID and was what got me diagnosed with DID then two that nothing is happening that hasnt already been happening. getting the diagnosis doesnt change anything other than puts a name on whats already happening. I dont know what some of the alters are doing because thats how its always been, the only thing that has changed is my own perception that I was thinking now that I have a name for whats happening I should or will know the alters and what they are donig, like knowing my friends they tell me what they do. only alters are different, they dont always tell you what they are doing. that right then there were walls up to prevent me from knowing the alters and what they are doing. in time as healing takes place (ie therapy, work on the trauma that caused me to be DID, work on stabilizing and handling my life without dissociating to get away from my problems....) some of those walls will come down, maybe not all but enough to allow me to move forwards. I found that what she told me was right for me. in time some of the dissociation walls came down and the alters integrated with me so that I am one whole person again fully healed and no longer carrying the diagnosis of DID. that doesnt mean I dont dissociate, every human being dissociates from time to time, just that |I dont dissociate into alters anymore because there are no alters to dissociate into, no they didnt go away or die, everything they were is now me, thats what integration is...the merging of alters and hosts into one whole person again (by hosts I mean the body, brain, mind in which everyone resides with in)

[Kiya]

it happens...
I understand the shock when we think we're co-conscious and then find out something happened we didn't know about.
But you'll know when you know. Not real helpful, but... that's our lives, right? We're just the drivers.... the real show goes on behind our awareness.

[Fuzzybear]