[LA-ML]

My protector emailed my T the other morning and told her what one of my other insiders had planned for tomorrow. So I am pretty sure I am on 15 minute checks because of it. My T called and talked to my house supervisor and told her about the email and the other day one of my staff was all like I am talking to so and so or so and so. It really made me angry and hurt because I know he was teasing me. The thing is that I told another staff last night and she told me that she did not want to know who said it but that I should tell the supervisor. I feel the supervisor does not care what I say because with this company staff stick up for staff...No matter what is what I was told.
I was also told some stuff about another staff that use to own the house that I live in and he sold it and now is working for one of the other houses in the company. He says he has all this money and that, but when I told about the abuse that other staff were doing to me he told me I had to lie, because he was also doing it to me. I have never told really anyone that that had happened because I have made false accusations and so I am just like "The boy who cried wolf". Even my T says that if anything really happened to me that I would not be believed. BUT in the next sentence she made me feel better by saying that she would believe me no matter what...Even if it only happened in my head.
I have slept most of the day today. I feel better right now but probably only because I had a 52 oz. glass of Diet Dew. My blood sugar is still in the 300s but I do not feel sick or anything.
I talked to my Mom last night and for at least the first 5 minutes she yelled at me. Then she calmed down and we talked and I told her I loved her and that I hoped that she has a happy mother's day. I wish somehow I could have children. I know that maybe someday I could adopt but I want children of my own body if that makes sense but I know I can't because I would have to be taken off of all of my medications. And I know how that works..I would go crazy and not let me keep the baby....Sorry for the pity party...

[Gr3tta]

Mothers day brings up a lot of turmoil for me too. So sorry for your struggles.

[Kiya]

also sorry for your struggles - and resonating with mother's day issues and (internal) abuser issues.
we all gotta stick together.

[finding_my_way]

i have struggles with mother's day too. my mother never outright abused me or anything, but she did kind of emotionally neglect me and not always protect me as much as she could/should have (i grew up in a home with an alcoholic stepdad...enough said about that..).

but because of my trauma issues as a whole, mother's day is hard for me because i see my siblings all have kids. one of my sister's has a two-year-old son and is pregnant with her second child, so it's always about her because my mom makes it seem like having a child is 'the' best thing ever a person could do for some reason...despite the fact she has a lot of grandkids already...and treats my sister like her having kids is a miracle when she has never had issues conceiving to begin with..just an odd way of thinking..but just knowing i will not have kids because of my mental health issues really hurts me...and then of course people don't understand it either and think if you worked hard enough and 'really' wanted to, you (people in general) could just have a kid and live the live any other person could. it's just not so simple...

anyway, yeah...mother's day brings up a lot of things for me....sorry you are struggling too.