[Caelix3]

I feel like I have been dissociating more and more, ever since I started writing in a journal. It is really starting to freak me out, I really want to start figuring out some things but I don't know how to really tell my mom. I mean its not like I can just walk up to her and be like "Hey mom, I was thinking of maybe trying Hypnotherapy." I have been to a regular therapist before, but I feel like maybe a Hypnotherapist could see if I have any repressed memories or help me remember things that I can't currently remember on my own.

[Claritytoo]

Have you discussed this with your present therapist? I have memories that are kept with a few parts. These parts say I am still not ready to see them. It is frustrating but until they think I can handle them they are not going to let me see. I have had quick flashes of some stuff that happened to me when I was three. And I have a sort of narrative in my head that lets me know something happened to me when I was three, But that is it. So bottom line according to my parts (which is me) I am not ready. I still need to build a stronger inner self so I can remember, and than go forward to heal. I will be able to know once I can over come the fear of knowing. Take care.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Caelix3

I feel like I have been dissociating more and more, ever since I started writing in a journal. It is really starting to freak me out, I really want to start figuring out some things but I don't know how to really tell my mom. I mean its not like I can just walk up to her and be like "Hey mom, I was thinking of maybe trying Hypnotherapy." I have been to a regular therapist before, but I feel like maybe a Hypnotherapist could see if I have any repressed memories or help me remember things that I can't currently remember on my own.

one thing you might want to check on....most USA states no longer use hypnosis for things like recovering repressed memories. this is due to....

documentations that it causes something called false memory syndrome (makes a persons mind conjure up details and whole memories that never happened) memories are not always literal/linear. sometimes one memory can be metaphors for many different events or many different emotions which can be mis interpretted as a traumatic event...

example when I went to a hypnotist to stop a bad habit what we thought was a repressed memory of abuse came up. when my therapist and I talked and checked out the facts we discovered that traumatic event could never have happened due to I had never been in the location of that traumatic event (the location did not exist) the people in the repressed memory conjured during hypnosis never existed. the repressed memory instead was a metaphor for my stress level at that time. I felt like I was being abused, taken for granted, manipulated by others, afraid to be honest with my parent figures, feeling like my parent and siblings still viewed me as a child not the age I was, excited about events happening around me....all kinds of emotions therefore my mind conjured a false memory in the form of me as a child being abused by people I had never met and in a location that never existed. the mind is a funny and amazing thing. it can conjure up anything you desire, anything you fear and anything in between.

another reason why here in the USA most hypnotists no longer use their craft toward leading someone towards retrieving repressed memories is because this is no longer admissible in court cases. there are many documentations to how therapists and other treatment providers have helped their clients recover repressed memories and then prosecuted their abusers and later that abuser being let free because of false accusations\false memory syndrome.

another reason most treatment providers in the USA no longer use hypnosis for recovering repressed memories is that the person doing the hypnotizing can be arrested and prosecuted if that repressed memory retrieved while under their care turns out to be a false memory conjured up while under their care.

my suggestion is let nature takes its course. if you do have a repressed memory it will show itself in time whether or not you are in therapy. sometimes its just a matter of being in the right moment at the right time...one of my repressed memories came when I was on a camping trip, no hypnosis, no special therapy, just me and my wife hanging out in a boat on a lake.

[Caelix3]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Have you discussed this with your present therapist? I have memories that are kept with a few parts. These parts say I am still not ready to see them. It is frustrating but until they think I can handle them they are not going to let me see. I have had quick flashes of some stuff that happened to me when I was three. And I have a sort of narrative in my head that lets me know something happened to me when I was three, But that is it. So bottom line according to my parts (which is me) I am not ready. I still need to build a stronger inner self so I can remember, and than go forward to heal. I will be able to know once I can over come the fear of knowing. Take care.

I currently do not have a therapist. In the past I did, but due to the clinic saying we couldn't go there anymore due to insurance issues; I haven't had one sense. I just wish there was a way for me to communicate with the voices in my head. I am pretty sure they are alters, every time I write in my journal I feel really exhausted afterwards. Plus some of the handwriting doesn't look like mine and I get into a trance like state.

[Claritytoo]

I don't know where you live but most cities in the USA have low to no cost mental clinics. Sometimes there are hotlines where you can call and get that information. And the way I started communicated with some parts in my head was asking them a question. I asked if they could hear me. And the first thought I received was yes. I will sometimes talk out loud but most times we converse in my head. I think if you start out asking if someone wants to talk to you, you will be surprised by the response. Before I knew I had DID I would have loud thoughts shouting out stuff, One over the other. Once they knew I knew about them they don't shout. They just say what ever is on their mind and I respond in turn. In the beginning some would say mean stuff but after time that stopped because they knew I would listen.

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Have you discussed this with your present therapist? I have memories that are kept with a few parts. These parts say I am still not ready to see them. It is frustrating but until they think I can handle them they are not going to let me see. I have had quick flashes of some stuff that happened to me when I was three. And I have a sort of narrative in my head that lets me know something happened to me when I was three, But that is it. So bottom line according to my parts (which is me) I am not ready. I still need to build a stronger inner self so I can remember, and than go forward to heal. I will be able to know once I can over come the fear of knowing. Take care.

all of you what you said is similar to me and similar to what my therapist said about learning about what i went through.

i recently had two new things come up for me, but i am unsure how to deal with it. one was a huge random trigger that threw this far away and strange image in my head, not quite like a memory but not a dream either since i was wide awake. but i saw myself and a friend when we were about five or so. the second thing was a voice that out of nowhere told me something about a memory i have bits and pieces of. oddly, after both of these, for the few days after, i had symptoms of things i don't generally have..with the second event, i feel like i am actually at peace with it finally despite still questioning if it really happened or not. sorry to derail this topic.

but back to the point of this entire thing, i think it is true that when you are ready, things will come to you. for me, it happened when i was between 16 and now (almost 32) several years apart. first, it was feeling (knowing) something happened..then it was memories i always knew or had that just happened to come more to my awareness..and then there were just a few new ones i had never remembered that came up. but among all of that was the symptoms that fit pieces of things too for me.

my psychiatrist does hypnotherapy, but i have not tried it yet. but she did tell me that things inside need to be on the same page with no walls up because that wall is still going up at times, so if i pushed myself in therapy, everything would just be cut off completely most likely...so i don't really push things like i used to...i just do what i can daily and see where things go.

[Caelix3]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

I don't know where you live but most cities in the USA have low to no cost mental clinics. Sometimes there are hotlines where you can call and get that information. And the way I started communicated with some parts in my head was asking them a question. I asked if they could hear me. And the first thought I received was yes. I will sometimes talk out loud but most times we converse in my head. I think if you start out asking if someone wants to talk to you, you will be surprised by the response. Before I knew I had DID I would have loud thoughts shouting out stuff, One over the other. Once they knew I knew about them they don't shout. They just say what ever is on their mind and I respond in turn. In the beginning some would say mean stuff but after time that stopped because they knew I would listen.

Thanks for the suggestion .

[Kiya]

Another issue is that due to the whole backlash of False Memory Syndrome, many therapists will not do hypnotherapy to retrieve memories. My T also does hypnotherapy, but won't do it with me because I/we react badly to it (from being through something similar in the abuse).
There's a whole safety issue with therapists "telling you" what your memories are. They can guide you to "hear" the others, or find ways to communicate (art, write, collage), but Therapists can get sued by family members or even clients if they deal with memories that then "might be false". It's a sticky issue, but one they're pretty careful about.

I did mostly journaling, and also non-dominant hand writing. So, for me, writing and drawing with the left hand (as suggested in the book about non-dominant writing) goes around the censoring mechanism in you brain -- but ONLY if your parts feel it is safe enough to tell you.
Wishing you the best.

[TheFuZZieONE]

I've been to a hypnotherapist and it actually worked pretty well for me. I have some bothersome alters who refuse to talk to me. I never know they're even out until I switch back and something triggers a memory from something I did in an altered state. With hypnosis I was able to bring my alter out while I was still conscious. The therapist talked to my alter and tried to talk some sense into her

Originally Posted by Caelix3

I feel like I have been dissociating more and more, ever since I started writing in a journal. It is really starting to freak me out, I really want to start figuring out some things but I don't know how to really tell my mom. I mean its not like I can just walk up to her and be like "Hey mom, I was thinking of maybe trying Hypnotherapy." I have been to a regular therapist before, but I feel like maybe a Hypnotherapist could see if I have any repressed memories or help me remember things that I can't currently remember on my own.

Hey hun, I can understand you wanting to figure things out. About 30 years ago, I asked myself, "Is there someone here?" And a voice replied "Yes, I am". I was like, is that for real or is it my imagination. We got to be good friends after that, and then a few others made themselves known. We've been working together ever since which made me good in mental talking.

But the repressed memories they won't share. Is it better this way? I guess. It's on a need to know basis, and I guess I don't need to know.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

But the repressed memories they won't share.

this statement jumped out at me because this is what I thought too, that alters would not share repressed memories, just regular memories. when I told that to my therapist she told me the psychological definition of a repressed memory is any memory that a person can not remember due to trauma, stress, or mental disorder. in short everything the alters know and have in their memories that I do not know is called a repressed memory. over time through therapy and healing the person with DID does regain their memories back.. then she used an example of a recent memory I gained back from an alter....

the memory of when I was lost in a mine shaft was dissociated and became part of Rainy's memory. for me since I did not have that memory in psychological terms that memory was a repressed memory.One day my wife and I were traveling and we got lost, as we went through a tunnel I felt afraid and began to cry. once on the other side my wife pulled over and held me and tried to calm Rainy down thinking I had switched into rainy since that was the alter who was afraid of the dark and getting lost. I let my wife know it was me, that I was all in the present but could now remember being lost like rainy, i could now remember the traumatic event of being lost in the mine shafts and all the feelings associated with it. the next time Rainy took over my therapist thanked rainy for sharing her memories with me and encouraged her to continue to do so.

my point is that alters share repressed memories all the time, anytime the person with DID doesnt remember something that the alters know or the alters have done or is contained with in the alters, then the person with DID remembers that its called the alters sharing repressed memories. another term for repressed memories here where I live is called dissociated memory, and dissociative amnesia.

[Caelix3]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Hey hun, I can understand you wanting to figure things out. About 30 years ago, I asked myself, "Is there someone here?" And a voice replied "Yes, I am". I was like, is that for real or is it my imagination. We got to be good friends after that, and then a few others made themselves known. We've been working together ever since which made me good in mental talking.

But the repressed memories they won't share. Is it better this way? I guess. It's on a need to know basis, and I guess I don't need to know.

That is exactly how I feel, you just said it spot on! "Is there someone here?" And a voice replied "Yes, I am". I was like, is that for real or is it my imagination.

Thing about journal writing, I always feel like I'm reading someone else's diary.

[Caelix3]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Thing about journal writing, I always feel like I'm reading someone else's diary.

Exactly how I feel, it is quite a scary feeling too at times!

[lucidity11]

When i write in a journal i usually don't go back and read it because i get fearful when i read something i don't recall writing

Originally Posted by lucidity11

When i write in a journal i usually don't go back and read it because i get fearful when i read something i don't recall writing

Yes, but it's an eye opener to what everyone thinks. It's so crazy I find it fascinating myself.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Yes, but it's an eye opener to what everyone thinks. It's so crazy I find it fascinating myself.

I think that works if you have a host. But if you don't have a host it is just scary.

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

I think that works if you have a host. But if you don't have a host it is just scary.

It's always scary, but after all these years, its just like fascinating. It's like we're all use to it. Yes, the blood pressure does take a boost.