[Zebra821]

Hi! I have seen a lot of DID peeps on here posting, and I want to preface by saying that I do not have DID.
I've been told recently I have dissociative D/O, most likely depersonalization. My question is this:

I get the "high" feeling, the out of body experience, and during this time period I feel like nothing is real. Colors are different and I'm weirdly happy. I also "forget" who I am. I struggle with my identity in a way that isn't so much "What am I here to do/why am I here" but moreso "What do I like? What makes up who I am?" I forget about being a kid- I can't remember a huge chunk of my life, except for the intense traumas. Sometimes I forget what I look like physically, almost like, who I am has nothing to do with the body I'm inside of. I always have a vague outline of events or who I am, but the details are completely lost. Most of the time I feel fuzzy and uninterested in social interaction because it proves to be A LOT of work for me to remember how to react or how to service the other person's needs. My clothes are whatever I put on because I don't identify with any of it. I don't identify as a girl, or a boy, or barely a human. I have a huge imagination and often find myself drifting into daydreams even when it's inappropriate for someone my age. One day I will be overzealous and nurturing and caring but other days I don't care about anything and am very mellow. I think a lot of that has to do with my period but I'm never sure.

None of this bothers me other than the fact that a lot of things don't get done or I struggle with my ability to find consistency in anything. I like the high feeling, I like that I don't worry about my physical appearance. But the lack of memory and identity is confusing.

Is this typical of someone with dissociative?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Zebra821

Hi! I have seen a lot of DID peeps on here posting, and I want to preface by saying that I do not have DID.
I've been told recently I have dissociative D/O, most likely depersonalization. My question is this:

I get the "high" feeling, the out of body experience, and during this time period I feel like nothing is real. Colors are different and I'm weirdly happy. I also "forget" who I am. I struggle with my identity in a way that isn't so much "What am I here to do/why am I here" but moreso "What do I like? What makes up who I am?" I forget about being a kid- I can't remember a huge chunk of my life, except for the intense traumas. Sometimes I forget what I look like physically, almost like, who I am has nothing to do with the body I'm inside of. I always have a vague outline of events or who I am, but the details are completely lost. Most of the time I feel fuzzy and uninterested in social interaction because it proves to be A LOT of work for me to remember how to react or how to service the other person's needs. My clothes are whatever I put on because I don't identify with any of it. I don't identify as a girl, or a boy, or barely a human. I have a huge imagination and often find myself drifting into daydreams even when it's inappropriate for someone my age. One day I will be overzealous and nurturing and caring but other days I don't care about anything and am very mellow. I think a lot of that has to do with my period but I'm never sure.

None of this bothers me other than the fact that a lot of things don't get done or I struggle with my ability to find consistency in anything. I like the high feeling, I like that I don't worry about my physical appearance. But the lack of memory and identity is confusing.

Is this typical of someone with dissociative?

we are unable to make a diagnosis of whether this is how dissociative disorders are with in you or what is typical due to the fact that dissociation affects others differently. though there are set .....diagnostic criteria....that everyone in america must meet for diagnosing dissociative disorders, howthey affect each person is different in many ways.

speaking in ....general....for some people yes for others no.

my suggestion is go according to what ever your own treatment providers state this is with in you. if you have not gotten a diagnosis from a treatment provider my suggestion is contacting one can get you the diagnostic evaluations that can tell you whether this is dissociation in you and which dissociative disorder it may be.

[healingme4me]

Really uncertain of what is typical. It might affect each person differently. Are you working with a specialist to sort through your trauma? Hopefully those with personal experience see your post and can help discuss with you.

Hey Hun...luv!

Me myself always enjoyed the outer limits, but reality sux. You sound very well DP, and I also swing DR, but come to fnd out years ago, there are more Than just me, but that's okay...this is kinda fun in it's self. There is nothing normal about my life, so it's like nothing new.

Typical of dissociative? I would say so. The separation from reality to an escaped mode through dissociation and lost in the fog would think count, especially since your shrink said so.

Hang in their hun...we so luv you!

[Zebra821]

Thank you guys!! Yeah my T believes it's a dissociative thing but right now my psychiatrist has been very focused on treating my OCD (My psych. doctor is a little slow moving but I love her!) I knew there wasn't a way to diagnose me purely on this forum, but I just wanted to see if others identified with it. I have been bounced around from diagnosis to diagnosis so I am always skeptical when one comes my way. The "high" feeling I've been told is bipolar mania, but it is never random and always comes at stressful times. Thank you for the support guys! You do bomb!