Hey yall, I was called out elsewhere over using words like "sweety" "hun" "honey" "babe" etc.

It's so like how I talk, but come to find out, it bothers people.

Does anyone here find it offensive? I don't want to offend anyone and I'll stop saying it, takes a little getting used to, but I think I can.

[IB splitting]

Doesn't bother us. IB-Lacy
Nicole-Bradley
Misty-Ugene
Katie-Casey
Erin-Cody
Kristy-Zachary
Crystal-Christian
Baby Blue

Originally Posted by IB splitting

Doesn't bother us. IB-Lacy
Nicole-Bradley
Misty-Ugene
Katie-Casey
Erin-Cody
Kristy-Zachary
Crystal-Christian
Baby Blue

Thanks sweets, but to others it can be so like a major trigger.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Thanks sweets, but to others it can be so like a major trigger.

in general most people (even normal/non DID people) find it offensive when some one calls them endearments ...unless that person is someone they are extremely close to like a close family member or ones own child. its just not normally done..my therapist taught this to one of my alters by telling them to go to a public place and watch how people talk to each other and what their relationships are to each other. in general people dont go around saying things like dear, lovey, sweets, snookums and other terms of endearments.

here in my location its a bit creepy for some people to hear because its actually a grooming technique that pedophiles use with children they are trying to chum up to and sometimes domestic violence people use in abundance as a way of showing the public everything is fine while intimidating their victim who must also go along with these endearments or face t heir abusers wrath.

my suggestion talk with your treatment provider. they can help you balance when and where it can be ok for you to shower endearments on people in your life.

[4in1]

Causes no concern to any of us either

[Kiya]

i'm fine with it

The very first time you used an endearment with me (us?), I'll admit, it was a little uncomfortable. Then, iIgot to know you, and realised it's part of the way you communicate.

Short version: I'm fine with it. I don't hear any arguments. So, I think the others are fine with it, too.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

in general most people (even normal/non DID people) find it offensive when some one calls them endearments ...unless that person is someone they are extremely close to like a close family member or ones own child. its just not normally done..my therapist taught this to one of my alters by telling them to go to a public place and watch how people talk to each other and what their relationships are to each other. in general people dont go around saying things like dear, lovey, sweets, snookums and other terms of endearments.

here in my location its a bit creepy for some people to hear because its actually a grooming technique that pedophiles use with children they are trying to chum up to and sometimes domestic violence people use in abundance as a way of showing the public everything is fine while intimidating their victim who must also go along with these endearments or face t heir abusers wrath.

my suggestion talk with your treatment provider. they can help you balance when and where it can be ok for you to shower endearments on people in your life.

Thank you for explaining how endearments can serve as a trigger for people, especially those who have suffered at the hands of pedophiles.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

in general most people (even normal/non DID people) find it offensive when some one calls them endearments ...unless that person is someone they are extremely close to like a close family member or ones own child. its just not normally done..my therapist taught this to one of my alters by telling them to go to a public place and watch how people talk to each other and what their relationships are to each other. in general people dont go around saying things like dear, lovey, sweets, snookums and other terms of endearments.

here in my location its a bit creepy for some people to hear because its actually a grooming technique that pedophiles use with children they are trying to chum up to and sometimes domestic violence people use in abundance as a way of showing the public everything is fine while intimidating their victim who must also go along with these endearments or face t heir abusers wrath.

my suggestion talk with your treatment provider. they can help you balance when and where it can be ok for you to shower endearments on people in your life.

Thank you for that descriptive explanation, I never knew. I'm going to try and refrain from such expressions for we just don't want to be triggering anybody.

I've been working on it, but I do slip up every now and then. It's a hard thing to do to change a person's ways. I can feel the restraint, but it's all good.

Omg, this is so hard.

"You can take the girl out of the South, but you can't take the South out of a girl!"

Lol