....with everything. Nobody gets or cares for me here, in my locale. I'm told to "go talk to a therapist, not me". Everyone looks at me like I'm doing something weird. "There's got to be something wrong with you"...like I need a tumor test.

It's all in your head. So I don't become other people by talking in other languages, wear off gender clothes (but I do), can't remember what happened this morning....I'm just "absentminded like an idiot" which means I'm faking. I wish I was faking so that I can quit and get on with living a normal life.

So alone here.

I think I need to embrace all of us and say "it's all me!" Sounds good, but the others dont care.

What 3 words that brought me back to this world that I've successfully lived in elected denial was "Multiple Personality Disorder" uttered by partner one night while watching a movie....I instantly crashed and it all came real again in an instant, everyone demanding "out".

In a flash, years of intentional self restraint as a whole was obliterated and the denial lifted shining the ugly truth, and I'm right back in the hell hole that I tried to escape.

Can I go back into denial, get everyone working incognito again? They say "no, not this time". It's their time. I can't blame them.

I just want relief! Who doesn't?

I'm not the only one aggravated, everyone's aggravated, frustrated, and ready to say "screw it"....which has dark meanings.

We are sliding into depression, but we do it as a collective. It'll pass, but tonight it just plain sux.

I'm really sorry that you feel that way...it'll all get better. It's not the meds or anything, it's just life. It gets tough at moments and things do change...we are all good at changing!

I hope you feel better, luv

[CANDC]

alwayschanging. Hang in there. You have been down this road before and found your way back to the daylight.

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

....with everything. Nobody gets or cares for me here, in my locale. I'm told to "go talk to a therapist, not me". Everyone looks at me like I'm doing something weird. "There's got to be something wrong with you"...like I need a tumor test.

It's all in your head. So I don't become other people by talking in other languages, wear off gender clothes (but I do), can't remember what happened this morning....I'm just "absentminded like an idiot" which means I'm faking. I wish I was faking so that I can quit and get on with living a normal life.

So alone here.

I think I need to embrace all of us and say "it's all me!" Sounds good, but the others dont care.

What 3 words that brought me back to this world that I've successfully lived in elected denial was "Multiple Personality Disorder" uttered by partner one night while watching a movie....I instantly crashed and it all came real again in an instant, everyone demanding "out".

In a flash, years of intentional self restraint as a whole was obliterated and the denial lifted shining the ugly truth, and I'm right back in the hell hole that I tried to escape.

Can I go back into denial, get everyone working incognito again? They say "no, not this time". It's their time. I can't blame them.

I just want relief! Who doesn't?

I'm not the only one aggravated, everyone's aggravated, frustrated, and ready to say "screw it"....which has dark meanings.

We are sliding into depression, but we do it as a collective. It'll pass, but tonight it just plain sux.

Oh my, I don't know where that came from. It was quickly over though. Somebody was quite upset.

Thank you all for your support.

[IB splitting]

Yes indeed sounds like some Alters needed to vent this happens to me a lot all you can hope for is that passes soon and you didn't do anything you may regret later. I believe most people with DID go through this. The only problem is it seems like these feelings never go away. In my book there is a saying that always pop's up when I'm feeling like I'm going to lose it. I will share.
On a cloud of pink
Has turned to grey
And I'm alone again

Credit to Mad Season.