If an alter has a different orientation than yours..

Cw for discussing "realness" of alters sexual orientations, sexual orientation questions

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If they have different sexual or romantic orientations than you, Does that mean yours isnt "real"? Like if you have an alter thats a gay man and one thats a lesbian does that mean deep down you are bisexual and you are divvying it between parts? Are all of the orientations between parts all equally valid or is it possible some have a more genuine orientation than others??

Wondering for myself. I know its a tricky question but hoping some of you can help me sort out whats possible hypothetically.

Ummmm don't know, but it's a point often pondered.

The way I see it is that each personality has their own opinion, likes and dislikes, and desires.

Trust me, some of the Others wants are so not like mine...and mine not like there's, which would make integration really interesting because it's like anti-matter touching matter.

We have lesbians, straights, gays, and prudes in here, so if we were in a blender, we'd probably be Omni-sexual! Just kidding.

Truthfully, we have no idea, but I wouldn't be reading into it all that much. If you have a dominant host, it most likely will be the supreme extreme...I hopefully guess, too.

i am not really sure either. i have tried not to put too much focus on sexuality personally as it can be a real trigger...not sure if it's a trigger to me, one of my others....but i also don't know where 'i' am with it either since it can be either or no way...so i try not to think about it all or it causes stress. i just look at it as being what it is when it is how it is..if that makes sense.

I struggle with this too.. havent been able to figure anything out just yet. Some are disgusted by men and woman just in a friendship sense and would or could not even imagine anything sexual with either sex...others are for men some for woman...Me...I am not the host but really dont care either way...maybe asexual or graysexual only looked into the terms briefly

all my alters had their own jobs, purposes reasons for being. what this meant was they were different in all kinds of ways from me (the aware self) I had alters that were all kinds of orientations and sexual preferences. some quite dangerous and bordering on harmful. this did not mean mine nor theirs were not real.

let me explain something about me and my system...
I was born one whole person
then underwent extreme trauma
this trauma caused me to use my dissociative skills
the use of my dissociative skills caused my brain to create alternate personalities to handle triggering and abusive events, emotions, memories... in short function completely on their own with their own jobs purposes reasons for being.

because of this separation in identities through dissociation each of my alters orientations and preferences were dictated based on their jobs, purposes, reasons for being created...

example if an alters job purpose reason for being created was to have sex with women that alter was a lesbian, if an alters job purpose reason for being created was to have sex with men that alter was heterosexual. the same worked with dealing with types of intimate activities.

I the aware self was lesbian but when my alters integrated it took a bit of sorting out because I ....attracted... to all that the alters were. but when it came down to the actual intimacy I was still a lesbian.

the way my wife and I worked this out was we went to couples therapy and took our time in rediscovering everything during our intimate times together. just like normal couples do we discussed a lot, we tried all kinds of things and kept what worked and let go of what didnt. on the more edgy situations that we kept we added boundaries and rules like having a safe word that both my wife and I would remember to use when and if we reached a point where either of us needed to stop.

my suggestion is contact your or a treatment provider in your real time location. they can help you to discover what your orientations are and how to best handle having alters of conflicting orientations.

That's an intense and complex question. Parts experience their reality as real, whether they think it's 1970 or they are a different gender than the body or they have different sexual orientations. If the therapeutic strategy is to bring all parts to the current situation and time and reality, sexual orientation is definitely something to resolve. But all of this is a moving target. The process has its own dynamics and logic and timeline unique to each person.

Short answer to this is, there are usually memories to support this theory. Furthermore, if you have a lesbian alter you either have been abuse by the same sex and have suppress those feelings and use them in other ways throughout your life. Now in discovery its your choice or the alter to decide if you want a lesbian relationship or not. Same with gay male alter usually there are memories to support that even if only friendly towards them. Now with discovery it depends on what you decide your gay male's role will be in your life.