[Shaly78]

Needing to process those who tried to sabotage every relationship I sought in particular intimate relationship. Basically, being in a relationship before was way less complicated where I could talk on the phone your life was your life and mine was mine. I didn't have to worry about who was watching who or anything of that nature. It was very much like oh boy I'm a registered sex offender because there was no way around having to disclose my diagnoses knowing the reaction I would get and the mad stigma. Yes, I drawing that parallel! It's was like I was forced to make everyone my D.I.D expert in addition to my lover. If not, my ptsd and dissociative system would go through the roof! I tried disclosing without full understanding and still the same results applied. I never never never had to deal with this much complication in my life at all! It is like I/we was unpaid actors. I always had a fear that men I meet were apart of my therapist secretly because I couldn't figure out how there sentences at times seemed like they were undercover T . I have made sense of what at the time seem like something out a cult world! I just feel like I left some things on the table in the relationship area and much was done both ways when it didn't have to happen that way. I/we have better ways to cope since I know now this isn't probably going to change with people I meet. I'm much better in my own understanding of the implications of meeting someone, ptsd, did etc. I don't want to have to preface every introduction with I'm this person and that person unless it gets serious or that I may married this person. How do people handle this ? Mentally ill and dating. I'm sorry if the this analogy offends anyone, but the hate and confusion is so thick I don't know anything else to compare it to.

I can understand your position. I've often thought/dreamed about this- how do you come clean in a prospective relationship?

Of course we all want someone to stand next to us in our trials and tribulations, someone strong to lean on and doesn't mind without having to pay them a co-pay.

I think that after a few dates like 5 or so, I'd just come real...or hide it forever.

My best guess. Sorry.

I just wouldn't worry about it. If they like you...love you, then take the bad with the good...or screw them.

Let's arm wrestle...fer luv.

[Shaly78]

Well I know for me I'm not overt in my presentation like folks with Bipolar but to make it fair I guess given the intensive treatment and the chance that anyone could help me associate memories i might as well have every mental illness in the book. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Bipolar people have that mania where when the rage hits it just hits same with sadness there is really no stuffing it or having another self stand in...Too me that makes it more overt most of the time. For me, it takes a lot for me to show that in that way to where you might can say I'm I have an episode a quick display of rage sadness ....where a switch isn't helping for me its just time to be those things instead of not showing it.....But for the agenda of the 'handlers' I call them what I've been put through the synchronicity it makes it extremely worse to appear okay. The most a boyfriend would notice is forgetfulness, like we all don't forget. Other than that I'm fun to be with.