Existential Crisis

I wasn't exactly sure where to post this, but I just need to write down some thoughts. I'm in a bit of an existential crisis right now and... I don't even know how to explain it. In my lifetime, I'm supposed to go to school, get a job, and retire. That's it. I'm just a robot with a voice that will never be heard. I guess the thing that makes me really think about this is the fact that the other day, I realized that I'm not free, I'm just lost. And because I've had mental illnesses my whole life, I never really had a personality. All of those things I used to like were just desperate distractions. I'm just a shell.

Alright. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Pastor, have you been diagnosed? At any rate, that doesn't matter. Distractions can be a sign of addictions without knowledge. We all have free will and choice to do what we want to do. If the work is unfinished start again. Are you a teen a normal teen that have moments of awkwardness? There is a difference!

Well, at the very least maybe take comfort in the fact that none of that at its core has much to do with you. We're a product of the world we live in, and by the time we really take notice, the prospect of recalibrating our experience can be fairly daunting. And it takes time.. existential crises can be an incredible test of stamina.

Anyway, they're only disorders in the sense that they are out of order with social constructs. It's all pretty subjective. Personally, I consider every anomaly of my cognitive differential to be an absolutely normal reaction to abnormal life experience. So what's disordered.. me, or the crazy world? Probably both.. but I think I've given up thinking there's anything wrong or defective about me, or at least that there's anything more wrong with me than anything or anyone else in this world. I mean, really, look at this place.

I've been in the longest existential crisis of my life the last few years.. too many things had happened all at once to rock me to the core and it's required a faith in my own process that defied much of even my own logic.. seems to have required at its base that I further open myself up to who I really am, regardless of how that fits into anyone else's idea of who I am or how they perceive I should be..

Idk, this might not relate in the least to what you are going through, but I wish you solace, and empathize.

maybe this will help calm things down....even normal people go through this. there is even a label for this called mid life crisis. my suggestion talk with your or a treatment provider, they will be cable to help you to figure out why you are feeling this way and what to do to help you feel better soon.

i have struggled with this for most of my life...way before the 'usual' time people might...so it has really affected me when it hits me again. it is very overwhelming and creates a lot of anxiety and fear for me.

Yea, Lecrae guess so gotta make the best of the sitaution...U an I know what the deal is though....We will never give church folks the time of day, never!

wanted to add I see by your profile you are 15 and genderfluid. what you are going through can also be age related and part of the conflict between your assigned gender vs what you are feeling as your gender and other gender identification issues.

if this continues to bother you contact your treatment / or a treatment provider. they can help you sort out what is normal for you at your age and whether this is part of your gender identification issues like questioning your identity, your purpose in life and other issues like this.

Someone once told me.. How do you expect to function if you break all your bones trying to cram yourself into a box that doesn't fit?

The fact that you are capable of such introspection and aware of your existence imply that you are more than a shell. That you exist. There was a time in my life when I was 25 I questioned my existence, my reason for being. I misunderstood this inquiry to be a desire to not exist. But it wasn't. It was the beginning of my realizing that my life is not a destination. It's a journey. And with some luck over time I will learn and be better for having lived my life.