Existing by a life theme

Rules we live by....

Do NOT embarrass the body...or at least get by...

Basically....

We live a co-conscience life...which means to appear single like, we must have a life theme to adhere to.

Now... We are dying to change that theme...it's so hard to get everyone aboard.

Oh God I wish that I can change my single mind...but having to bring it to a 50 member delegation??? Shoot me now.

Only a commitment at this point helps.

I have NEVER heard it put like that before. You just gave me words to an experience that I couldn't explain before. You are very fluent!

I wish I had some words for you too.

Hey, AC2. Can you please elaborate on what you mean by this line?

In our young system years...the way we operate, function, kept secret out of fear of discovery, ridicule, judgement, and attention by outside eyes...we new we had others at 15 (come to find out that there are literally hundreds of us in a poly fragmented kind of way), so worked together to appear to be as a singleton through denial of ourselves. As a whole we were withdrawn, conditioned, we worked silently like, it was a mutual agreement to try to appear normal.

Being aware of each other and connected, we do seamless switching....others jumping in as needed on the fly without acknowledgement....focused on singleness...of one contrived conscience even to fool ourselves, keeping up the illusion that we were "normal"....we did okay, we still was considered strange. We didn't appear to really get it together until our late 20's because we were so emotionally stunted.

Our theme is an agreed upon public image. Like we are going to do this and appear like that and walk like this...playing the part...we discussed it. It got difficult at times and felt so fake. The school years were the hardest...we endured public abuse too, picked on and laughed at ....we was suffering PTSD from the home abuse....all of us...we all felt it.

It wasn't till recent that the cat got out of the bag and that we acknowledged our system and each other after years of systematic denial. Now we're comfy in talking about it on here, but still adhere to the rules in our day to day public living.

I hope that helps to explain our crazee.

Alwayschanging, interesting perspective my understanding of what your wrote is doing what it is necessary to maintain your life theme...Coping skills, training inside, making jobs/roles clear, triggers easing them somehow, processing. Do u get episodes or switches at work? They think u just mad co worker who is solving conflict, know need to share all your buisness, right

Hi...I'm always changing. Just because the worker goes to work....another has to present to talk to people. We can't talk and work at the same time...or drive...or answer the phone...or deal with people...or type of work needed to be done..or the phone rings...or figuring costs...or navigating the iPad...or checking online...or pissed off people...or....it's a mind blower...it's all a comic page....it's crazee....trying to stay "singular" is a job in it's self...just because of the memory problems like amnesia...but we manage.