So now I'm dx'd dd-now after all these years and so many other diagnoses.

Wow. So I've been in some form of treatment since age 12. I'm 37 now. My dx's have been: depression, bipolar, ptsd, borderline, schizoaffective, and now this. Medically I have severe migraines and mild seizures.

I feel that mental health-wise, I am only getting worse. I don't think any of the treatment has really ever helped, it's almost in the same way that jail makes a better criminal, treatment makes a sicker patient. On my end, I am dramatic and obtuse.

If someone could help me make sense of this or offer insight I'd appreciate it. I guess the only diagnoses that feel correct to me are ptsd, depression and yes I do dissociate but I'm only aware after. I don't have fully separate alters but my husband says I change when I dissociate. My voice, the look on my face, the music I listen to, the way I dress.

My first DC was PTSD and major depression....then they added DID I don't think that was ever ready a dx for me though. I was very, very dissociative and I think that was misunderstood. I did lose lots of time, great long chunks. I had my parents take my daughter because I was so scared of the lost time. But once I started working specifically with Drs and therapist for dissociative problems things improved. I was put on way too much meds and that complicated the issue.

Sometime during all that the changed the MDD to BP and when I was in crisis I did present as BPD but when I wasn't in crisis I had no signs of the BPD.

After working very hard on the dissociative and PTSD life got so much better. First the dissociative stuff gradually got better then the PTSD ...I have no symptoms of either right now. The BP became much easier to medicate. I still have my weeks...especially when I try to quit meds. I keep feeling like if I got the DD and PTSD under control why can't I get rid of the BP too? I know it's not the same, that it's wishful thinking...but ..you know

Oh the BPD was just dropped somewhere a long the way of this journey. I think ( this is my thought) if you focus on the dissociative and PTSD with specific therapy the other stuff will get easier and they may find that in the muddle of symptoms that meds sometimes exacerbate symptoms or create extra problems. The BPD was only in a crisis so maybe that's why? If you do have MDD or BP that does need meds but it's so much easier to find the right meds once the other symptoms are reduced. I found that the benzodiazepines and AD made the DD worse. When I was switched to propranolol it helped the anxiety better and without the ups and down that looked like BPD.

My Dx list is now just BP with DD and PTSD in remission. I on much less medicine. Just a mood stabilizer, AP, propranolol and sleep meds.

There is hope! It helps to have good therapist who specializes in DD and PTSD although it's a lot of hard work. I found it very helpful to live alone where I could control my environment. I was on disability and was able to get sec 8. No one wanted me to live alone but things got much better. It's all so individualized you need to find what works for you. It's hard but worth it.

Best advice I can give is work on the symptoms and don't worry to much about the labels, they are pretty fluid and often depend on the Dr and therapist and will probably change as you improve.

Oh; medically I had very severe migraines.....none now. Ulcers....none now. Maybe that will help. To know it might not be forever. First injectible Imatrex helped, the pill form did not, then Frova was giving by a neurologist and was the best.

Take care any questions feel free to contact me.

I dont know about Bipolar Schizoaffective etc just like with me I was diagnosed along the way, but it just wasnt getting better. If u have researched you will read that it gets bad before getting better. Learning balance, asking questions journaling is really important. It takes time you will start hearing and noticing then u will understand what your husband is talking about.

Sometimes usually one has to go full circle through all the other mental illness flavors before arriving to this one. PTSD is part of the dissociative spectrum....so it sounds like they possibly arrived at the right one?

Everyone dissociates, but what happens when you dissociate is another story, and it seems that your hubby knows best. Just roll with it. We hope that you get to feeling better.