[IB splitting]

So had T Thursday morning and we read through my journal. So two of my female alters Misty and Erin had reveled some pretty bad trauma. So IB does not want to deal with this as he is not programmed to deal with much of anything. So my instructions are as follows, Focus on getting out the feelings re: abuse, pacing yourself to not be overwhelmed and flooded. Gradually, in small steps, increase co-consciousness with the alters.
So sounds reasonable except me IB does not know how get feelings out nor deal with it, I'm really freaking lost....

[finding_my_way]

it can be difficult to get feelings out. there were many years where i was not able to speak much/verbalize what i felt, how i felt, etc.

when i could not talk/verbalize things, i started to write. it was difficult and scary at times. i recently just started going through a journal i had for 10 years a few years ago. i haven't written in a journal since 2010 or 2013 or something. but it helped a lot. sometimes i would just write and see what came out.

i found though that as other things in my life changed, i naturally became able to verbalize more, and it was less and less scary (when shared with the right person/people).

have they tried to write or are they willing to? if it is too hard to even do that, maybe they just are not able to handle the feelings yet. i used to feel too much a lot of the time (although i swear i was always depressed and numb..). it can be confusing trying to work through so much. i would definitely take it slow and start with small pieces.

also, do they want to work on anything? have a same goal or different goal?

[IB splitting]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

it can be difficult to get feelings out. there were many years where i was not able to speak much/verbalize what i felt, how i felt, etc.

when i could not talk/verbalize things, i started to write. it was difficult and scary at times. i recently just started going through a journal i had for 10 years a few years ago. i haven't written in a journal since 2010 or 2013 or something. but it helped a lot. sometimes i would just write and see what came out.

i found though that as other things in my life changed, i naturally became able to verbalize more, and it was less and less scary (when shared with the right person/people).

have they tried to write or are they willing to? if it is too hard to even do that, maybe they just are not able to handle the feelings yet. i used to feel too much a lot of the time (although i swear i was always depressed and numb..). it can be confusing trying to work through so much. i would definitely take it slow and start with small pieces.

also, do they want to work on anything? have a same goal or different goal?

So I'm dealing with 23 active alters at this time, they all seem to have no problem expressing there feelings and thoughts. We write every day some print neat, some bad, some cursive you can tell who is writing. The problem is me IB is supposed to deal with the trauma, and is a struggle because I'll just (check out) so I don't have to deal with anything. This is actually worse than just trying to do daily activities as I'm not there at all. Like it was the 25th and I thought it was the 15th. She suggested drawing, however when I draw it's only women with like nothing on. So not sure if that's the best route. Thank you for your input.

[Kiya]

Little bit at a time. Notice thoughts (I am angry, I am scared) and write them down. Start there. Small things. Good that you are journalling.