[flockpride]

Sharing something good. Dissociative disorders arising from trauma and abuse are probably among the hardest to treat, especially DID.

But, with a good therapist, improvement is possible! Having gratitude today for a patient and persevering therapist.

[Claritytoo]

I am happy for you feeling so good.

[Ellahmae]

I am so thankful for my persevering therapist and her consistency and understanding. I'm not sure I'd still be here if it wasn't for her. I'm glad you have a good one too, Flock.

Originally Posted by flockpride

Sharing something good. Dissociative disorders arising from trauma and abuse are probably among the hardest to treat, especially DID.

But, with a good therapist, improvement is possible! Having gratitude today for a patient and persevering therapist.

That's great flockpride, I can only wish. I'm still searching, but it's hard to do on a limited income.

What is improvement? What does it does it look like when you're 'healed'? Is it possible to recover and be 100% 'normal' / integrated? I can't even begin to picture what is possible, or what that feels like.

[Ellahmae]

Originally Posted by Justagir1

What is improvement? What does it does it look like when you're 'healed'? Is it possible to recover and be 100% 'normal' / integrated? I can't even begin to picture what is possible, or what that feels like.

According to my T who has lots of experience and training it is something that can be unlearned with lots of time, work, and patience.

[flockpride]

Normal is different for each person. My goal is internal cooperation. If we got there, function would improve hugely. Is that integration? Who knows. I just want to have more parts working together instead of against each other. Healing keeps moving along. I don't think there is an endpoint.

[Ellahmae]

Yes different for every person. Still don't know what 'me' as a 'finished product' will look like.
*Will they still be there and we'll just work together consistently?
*Will they be completely gone and I'll be even more lonely?
*Will I even know they were there in the first place and will this all seem like a dream?
*Will there be full integration?
*Will I just know more?
*Will I wake up tomorrow and all of this will have been a nightmare?

[kecanoe]

I too have a patient and generally awesome team of 3 therapists. I am very fortunate to be able to see all 3 of them. But I sure am a lot better than I was 4 years ago. My goal is to have the whole system cooperate most of the time and to react to triggers without panicking. I've heard different definitions of what "health" looks like for people w DID. One theory is that parts will start to merge together as they resolve whatever they need to, so that the two or more will act together and think together. That has happened for me with Eve/Jodi and Cindy/Grace and is starting to happen with Bonnie/Alice/Jodi/Eve. All are adults; I think it is harder for the kids. Another theory is that the parts speak up less and less as they resolve stuff and the whole system can function without having strong triggers or dissociation interrupt.

[flockpride]

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

Yes different for every person. Still don't know what 'me' as a 'finished product' will look like.
*Will they still be there and we'll just work together consistently?
*Will they be completely gone and I'll be even more lonely?
*Will I even know they were there in the first place and will this all seem like a dream?
*Will there be full integration?
*Will I just know more?
*Will I wake up tomorrow and all of this will have been a nightmare?

I used to hate being told what I'm about to write...it's a process and since we keep changing there is no finished product. Along the way, we may experience a lot of things, more communication, less, more information, huge amnesia. I think some important goals are to live more comfortably and to enjoy life more, to have satisfying relationships, to understand your own experiences with compassion and to find ways to express your truth with dignity.

Life made us learn co-operation naturally because everything is a trigger. It's not perfect because we still have inner dissension and rivalries like most families have. We also do have renegade parts that just do their own thing regardless of what we others think.

We were cooperating long before we were recognized, we just did it silently and without recognition as triggered. Co-con disguised the fact, and that the voices and opinions expressed in head was perceived as a single thought process, a very multifaceted one as matter of fact.

This isn't integration, but another acceptable form of functionable existence. The best I can say is that our poly fragmented life isn't naturally integrating, we switch too much for one to learn coping skills and stay up.

This is our "normal", it's okay as long as we compliment each other in a systematic way to hide our multiple identities. We just have to keep from letting the "crazies" out. We can't imagine living any other way.

We still deal with missing memories though, we share enough to get by. What others experiences seems like detached dreams system wide, usually just snapshots of moments, rarely any moving pictures minus sound and emotion. These pictures spin out of the darkness slowly growing until I can see it, but to then recede back into the darkness, shrinking going out of focus to be mostly forgotten. Some images do stick. I think this just a showy way of sharing, sometimes it's just a prolonged flash.

I spend my time looking for ways to prove that I've got it wrong, but it's not going well. Being a multiple explains our life- something we knew since the beginning.

When things are actively happening, I can sense all the mains paying attention to the sequence of events ready to step in, much like a team working together, so that we can stitch the present together.

When I'm out, there is no need because we are in relax mode at the home, unless I get a phone call or our partner starts to ask about our day, then the appropriate part needs to present.

I'm sorry for repeating things I've said in the past multiple times. Hopefully I'm helping in describing our system and how we work together. It's not perfect, but so far so good. We still have our moments, but to be able to agree and discuss things is a plus.

To tell you the truth, it still comes across as crazy like this. At least not hearing everyone would be blissful, but that comes with its own unique set of problems.

I wish you all well.

[spring2014]

Originally Posted by flockpride

Sharing something good. Dissociative disorders arising from trauma and abuse are probably among the hardest to treat, especially DID.

But, with a good therapist, improvement is possible! Having gratitude today for a patient and persevering therapist.

hi flockpride,
I agree with you 100% !!!!!!!! my therapist and I have good therapeutic relationship and we work well together. its my first year anniversary working with my therapist who is a godsend to me !!!!!!!!!