[Amy Today]

I am Bipolar II, but I've been telling my pdoc for months that one of things I struggle with the most is derealization. I have been suffering with it for about 4 years now. She attributed it to my depressive episodes, which I understand, but it is absolutely unbearablely debilitating and I feel so hopeless. I have days where I feel like I am only about 20% present in my life, like I'm not even really awake. It's like the world around me is all fuzzy, I'm barely in it, and I cannot function in it. Very much like I'm in a dream.

My pdoc put me on Lithium a week ago, and that put me right into a permanent feeling of derealization. I stopped taking it yesterday and I'm trying to just give my body time to get it out of my system, but in the meantime, it is terrifying to feel like you aren't really here. All I can do when I feel this way is exist. I hate it and I get so afraid that I will always feel this way, barely being aware of reality everyday.

Does anyone else suffer with this? Any good coping strategies to make it more tolerable?

Hey hon, I'm sorry, I get you. When I'm depressed...sure I'm out of mind, but I wouldn't call it derealization because it feels different...I guess that's because I'm too down and out to really notice or even care.

When I have an onset of DP/DR, it's usually triggered from anxiety, stress, drugs, or over stimulation of sensory inputs. I've gotten used to just automatically trying to ground myself by focusing on surrounding objects, describing them, feeling them, reading, to try and make them real.

Or I just sit and go with the flow and let it run its course because I'm used to feeling dissociated, detached, or not in control.

But, a permanent feeling of DR? That has to be awful. Being drugged induced has to make it unshakeable that you would have to wait for the drug to wear off. Hopefully things will get better for you when the lithium wears off.

The Lamictal that I take seems to be side effects free for me, maybe worth trying? Good luck!

[avlady]

i feel that way almost every day, i have a hard time getting up in the morning and doing housework is such a chore for me. i'm disabled from a few car accidents and have head injuries. i feel so awful, but some i get things done, in my own little world in my head which i'm afraid of getting altzimers too.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Amy Today: I don't know if it's a similar kind of experience, but I have had long periods which I have described as "having my head in a fish bowl" or "swimming through heavy water". I suppose, for me, it has been the result of a mixture of depression & anxiety. Nowadays, I pretty-much just keep to myself. This keeps my anxiety somewhat at bay. And, having less anxiety, tends to reduce my depression. I also walk allot & do some meditation. I hope you begin to feel better soon...

[Amy Today]

Thanks everyone! I'm feeling better since I stopped taking the Lithium, but it's always a concern for me because it happens during my depressive episodes or when I am overly stressed. Not that I want anyone to suffer it, but it makes me feel a little more "normal" to know I'm not the only one who goes through it.