Does anyone have a child alter who carries abandonment fear? My T triggered this last week when he had to cancel my session. It felt excruciating. I"m still dealing with the pain. I"m learning to talk to my part and try to soothe her. My T is helping me, I see him tomorrow. I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this, and if you have any words of wisdom.

[kecanoe]

Originally Posted by ~Tsunami

Does anyone have a child alter who carries abandonment fear? My T triggered this last week when he had to cancel my session. It felt excruciating. I"m still dealing with the pain. I"m learning to talk to my part and try to soothe her. My T is helping me, I see him tomorrow. I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this, and if you have any words of wisdom.

Oh yeah. My main t doesn't cancel-I've been seeing him for 8 years. And he has only cancelled once in all that time. He will sometimes ask me to reschedule, but is fine with me saying no. I do have a pretty flexible schedule so I can usually accommodate the change he wants to make.

But if any of them did cancel, I would probably melt down, have to take my rescue medication and who knows what else.

The fact is our youngest parts are still living in the days where we were abandoned. I am slowly learning to comfort myself and to sit with the pain, but it has been a very slow process with me and I am still a long way from it being really ok. Interestingly, I have been doing Somatic Experiencing with another t and that seems to have helped with the abandonment when nothing else has been really effective in 8 years of therapy.

Hang in there; glad you see t tomorrow.

Originally Posted by kecanoe

Oh yeah. My main t doesn't cancel-I've been seeing him for 8 years. And he has only cancelled once in all that time. He will sometimes ask me to reschedule, but is fine with me saying no. I do have a pretty flexible schedule so I can usually accommodate the change he wants to make.

But if any of them did cancel, I would probably melt down, have to take my rescue medication and who knows what else.

The fact is our youngest parts are still living in the days where we were abandoned. I am slowly learning to comfort myself and to sit with the pain, but it has been a very slow process with me and I am still a long way from it being really ok. Interestingly, I have been doing Somatic Experiencing with another t and that seems to have helped with the abandonment when nothing else has been really effective in 8 years of therapy.

Hang in there; glad you see t tomorrow.

Thank you for your reply. Somatic experiencing sounds interesting. I"m glad it's working for you.

We have several little ones who are terrified of abandonment. They were abandoned so many times by so many people, and are so afraid of it happening again. They get sick with worry over it.and we were abandoned out of nowhere one night by our therapist seven years ago, so they think all T's will do that now.

I've only met a few littles, and they avoid outside human contact. They are just getting used to being expressive again for the little amount of out time they had.

[flockpride]

Originally Posted by ~Tsunami

Does anyone have a child alter who carries abandonment fear? My T triggered this last week when he had to cancel my session. It felt excruciating. I"m still dealing with the pain. I"m learning to talk to my part and try to soothe her. My T is helping me, I see him tomorrow. I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this, and if you have any words of wisdom.

can totally relate. I think if you end up with a dissociative disorder, abandonment is part or the mix. I have had a little begin to trust T and then freak out at something unexpected in therapy. and the feelings are overwhelming. disregulation of emotions is also part of PTSD and DID.