[Shaly78]

Years ago, I used this term during my first experience with T in an email between sessions....I remember the memory exactly, it was the first word that came to mind and I remember debating whether to use the word, then I just said ok I'm not going to delete it........As of the current 2016, I'm not sure why I just didn't say 'question', query is a question and is usually a request for more information in the pharma/cro world where I use to work. Bringing this as a DID example, do you think this was an alter trying to get time out talking about the problems and successes at work? Do you think it was a reminder to bring up work to discuss in session? I don't have this is a big problem like it use to be, mostly because I try to choose my words carefully. At the same, time if can cause you to delay in getting a diagnoses because I have skipped alters names coming out first before speaking (tip :for those who need a diagnoses)....How do I relax and allow the out of control feeling to display with talking and not worry about what is coming out? So that I learn my system I'm pretty much diagnosed, but starting a new T next week and sometimes documentation doesn't matter, so I might have go in with the mind frame of diagnosed again....I used to see that as a bad thing, but I'm so symptomatic that surely they will recognize it right away, plus I don't need recognition right away because of the validation I've gotten in the past. Just in case there is any 'acting' in us lol

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Shaly78

Years ago, I used this term during my first experience with T in an email between sessions....I remember the memory exactly, it was the first word that came to mind and I remember debating whether to use the word, then I just said ok I'm not going to delete it........As of the current 2016, I'm not sure why I just didn't say 'question', query is a question and is usually a request for more information in the pharma/cro world where I use to work. Bringing this as a DID example, do you think this was an alter trying to get time out talking about the problems and successes at work? Do you think it was a reminder to bring up work to discuss in session? I don't have this is a big problem like it use to be, mostly because I try to choose my words carefully. At the same, time if can cause you to delay in getting a diagnoses because I have skipped alters names coming out first before speaking (tip :for those who need a diagnoses)....How do I relax and allow the out of control feeling to display with talking and not worry about what is coming out? So that I learn my system I'm pretty much diagnosed, but starting a new T next week and sometimes documentation doesn't matter, so I might have go in with the mind frame of diagnosed again....I used to see that as a bad thing, but I'm so symptomatic that surely they will recognize it right away, plus I don't need recognition right away because of the validation I've gotten in the past. Just in case there is any 'acting' in us lol

only you and your treatment providers knows how and why you use the word Query rather than the word question.

with in my my alters used the words of our culture and words that were popular during their creation and during their existence as long as it was part of their "sense of agency" (what their job, purpose, reason for being created, where they fit in with the system, how and when they were able to take control)

examples...

those alters with in me who's sense of agency was intimacy, their wording was that of what one would use when dating and having intimate relations.

those alters who's sense of agency was anger used words of anger including swearing

those alters with in me who's sense of agency was fear used wording that expressed fear and the fearful situation.

how to relax and be able to express yourself during therapy only you know the answer to that. what I can tell you is what relaxes me when having a hard time expressing myself...

I use the grounding relaxing tools I have learned in therapy such as breathing, meditating, going for a walk, rowing my canoe around the lake, painting, drawing, journaling, smelling apples and cinnamon flavored candles\food items. sometimes i also take a favorite comfort item to therapy with me.

again only you know what your alters sense of agency is and what will relax you and your system.

[1976kitchenfloor]

Hello.

Sometimes I think that in trying to understand what is going on we become too analytical. If one alter uses a different vocabulary and manner of speaking than another, that is pretty understandable to me. The important thing is that you want to make therapy work for you. If you are in pieces (DID) then whomever shows up will show up. Everyone belongs to the same body and shares the same unconscious. In the end you will all get together and live in the one body with an integrated memory an sense of self identity.

To be honest, my expereinces with DID are not at all like many of the things I read about here on this site. I enver discussed 'my system ' with my doc. I never knewds I had a system. I never had named parts and peices. I went to therapy day by day and in time things came out and after much time and ahrd work things came together and I became one whole self inside one body. That being said, whatever it is for you, it is.

you already know that in therapy or when seeing you therapist you just tell him/ her what you feel like and what you think about and how your life is going etc. Issues will come out on their own in the course of conversation. Be honest and dont attempt to manipulate the situation. That wont help you or the therapist who is meeting you for the first time. And, dont worry. You are who you are and if youre willing to work in therapy to get yourself and your life fixed--that is what is truly improtant here.

Take care.