[Shancan]

Last November I thought all was fine ... and now just last week I have been diagnosed with Dissociative Disorder. I am an absolute basket case now and finding it harder and harder to function each day. I have found a therapist and I have only seen him 3 times but feel comfortable with him. But I can only get into see him ever week or two weeks and I just HURT. I cannot sleep and I have surges that rush through my stomach and brain when ever I start to fall asleep. I had a partial flash back in December of an incident when I was a child and now I cannot let that thought go. I did one session of EMDR and that was it. My world froze and at the same time a reality that I have been doing this for a long time came rushing in. I have been dissociating since I was a child but didn't know it. Since giving birth to my children 8 years ago I have suffered from "episodes" of terrible dizziness and fatigue. I have been to many specialists for all sorts of testing (MS, ENT issues etc) I have been treated for anxiety and for my migraines with Medications that made me completely loose it! Terrible reactions to Prozac, Nortriptyline and Trazadone. Now I find myself feeling so completely out of it. My molars in my mouth seem to grow in size, my senses have exploded and I can't handle the slightest of noise, visual stimulation or taste. I am loosing my mind.
My T has given me some skills to help me calm down - but I can't seem to do them on my own. I get so lost so quick.
Any support, thoughts or suggestions? I am at a loss.

[finding_my_way]

do you have a diagnosis of PTSD? the last few things you mention, sensitivity to noise, stimulation, etc. sounds like it could be symptoms of PTSD. often, dissociation and PTSD can go together.

Shelly: Oh wow hon, so sorry...

Tranquilizers? For me, anxiety and stress on its own is enough to trigger dissociation. I used to take a mild one like Buspirone, but it made me too mellow so I quit it (it took away from hypomania).

Antidepressants for those that are bipolar can trigger mania, so a stabilizer is required to be taken. I was prescribed AD for depression of which led to a few years in LaLa land. We've now added a stabilizer (Lamictal). Bipolar is triggered later in life by trauma, anxiety or stress for those bipolar prone to begin and is lifelong from them on. At least that's what happened to us. When we got the bipolar under control, a lot of my dissociative issues subsided.

I've also found that nothing can cause greater anxiety then thinking that their is something mentally wrong with ones-self. I know I felt defective, different, cursed, wronged....that it's all unfair...but I've come to accept and embrace it to live with it peacefully...now we can begin to treat it.

Steven: I went and had a T session which I've realized that it needs to be done on a Friday afternoon. I tried to go to work after that and almost walked out onto the freeway in a daze!

Well, welcome to PC and hope you feel better, gotta get ready for work. Later.

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by Shancan

Last November I thought all was fine ... and now just last week I have been diagnosed with Dissociative Disorder. I am an absolute basket case now and finding it harder and harder to function each day. I have found a therapist and I have only seen him 3 times but feel comfortable with him. But I can only get into see him ever week or two weeks and I just HURT. I cannot sleep and I have surges that rush through my stomach and brain when ever I start to fall asleep. I had a partial flash back in December of an incident when I was a child and now I cannot let that thought go. I did one session of EMDR and that was it. My world froze and at the same time a reality that I have been doing this for a long time came rushing in. I have been dissociating since I was a child but didn't know it. Since giving birth to my children 8 years ago I have suffered from "episodes" of terrible dizziness and fatigue. I have been to many specialists for all sorts of testing (MS, ENT issues etc) I have been treated for anxiety and for my migraines with Medications that made me completely loose it! Terrible reactions to Prozac, Nortriptyline and Trazadone. Now I find myself feeling so completely out of it. My molars in my mouth seem to grow in size, my senses have exploded and I can't handle the slightest of noise, visual stimulation or taste. I am loosing my mind.
My T has given me some skills to help me calm down - but I can't seem to do them on my own. I get so lost so quick.
Any support, thoughts or suggestions? I am at a loss.

I was in my 40's when I was diagnosed with DID. The only thing that would help to calm me down was ice. The cold ice would pull me out of my head and remind me I was in the present. I would keep an ice pack in the freezer and when I needed it I would use it. Maybe that can help. It was hard to remember to use the ice in the beginning but after a while I did. I also take Zoloft. That helped with the compulsive thinking I would have. And Xanax was very helpful for the panic attacks. Expertise also helped. And seeing my therapist. I haven't been able to see a therapist for about a year now. I am having some trouble with isolating that I think can be helped with therapy. Anyway feel better.

[Shancan]

Thanks for all the replies. Sorry I have been delayed in posting back. These last few weeks have been messed up! My therapist is working with me on PTSD and dissociation ... stemming from childhood trauma ... all of this is far to overwhelming and I just don't know what is going on. My T asked some simple questions weeks ago that I answered honestly because to me it really didn't seem that bad. And the one memory I did have, although bothered me all these years, didn't control me. Well now it is! I wish I had just kept my mouth shut and not answered his questions. Now everything is so completely messed up! My lack of sleep isn't helping either ... every night I wake at approx 2am and then that is it for me. I am finding it hard even to go to work each day ... luckily I have my own office and I can close my door but I know eventually I will have to suck it up and get some work done. My T says I have a child ego state that keeps coming forward, and to me I have no idea I just know I feel completely out of my body and find it so hard to concentrate. I am scheduled to see a psychiatrist in May, and until then I have 10 Ativan to hold me over. I just have no idea what is going on. But I have a feeling I will be posting here more often. I really do appreciate your replies.

[Shancan]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

do you have a diagnosis of PTSD? the last few things you mention, sensitivity to noise, stimulation, etc. sounds like it could be symptoms of PTSD. often, dissociation and PTSD can go together.

Yes ... PTSD and Dissociation. It's been a pretty crazy few months.