Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old May 09, 2016, 03:42 PM
scar12346 scar12346 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: Bulgaria
Posts: 399
So we have this very old alter called Laureen or Laurean.. whatever, it's to hide her real name Lust.. I hate her with passion. I have a date tomorrow. She doesn't know that I have DID, therefore she doesn't know that the reason why we are dating is because of Laureen's lust.
I am simply apathetic by the recent **** that has happened, and my date knows that. Gods and Goddesses know, I've been so cold to her, partially because she is not my girlfriend she is simply Laureen's toy. And now I am scared that if she turns up to kiss me (which because we were long distance will be our first) and Laureen has not gotten any action in months, she will jump out and ruin everything and I have to put a mask on, make a theatre out of it, and pretend like I am alive once again...
How do you kill an alter for one night? Hmm maybe getting her get control, choking her and then switching out before we die? I don't know, give me suggestions... for how to kill a damn alter..

advertisement
  #2  
Old May 09, 2016, 05:25 PM
Lost_in_the_woods's Avatar
Lost_in_the_woods Lost_in_the_woods is offline
Grand Poohbah
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: Brokedown Palace
Posts: 1,625
You can't kill lust. It is a base human hormonal reaction. I also have a hard time coping with my overall sexual parts. But as much as I find their behavior gross and disturbing, I know that they exist to fulfill and or try to work out our inyamacy issues. I know that I personally (bc of very legitimate reasons )am extremely uncomfortable with physical/ sexual intamacy and yes knowing and or finding evidence that these parts have been out leave me feeling embarrassed, ashamed, dirty, and sick (also a little jealous and inadequate), but I know that they are not trying to harm me but in fact protect me from facing stuff that would retraumatize me. And also preserving my relationship with my SO. Idk that's just me... How does Laureen make your GF feel? One of my sexual parts I know loves my SO as much as I do... it took us both a while I think to not be jealous of each other's relationship with our SO. Guess that's part of coming to terms with the fact that even though we are as different as night and day, somewhere deep down in our core we are both part of one full entity that wants to figure out how to become whole. I also know that other parts don't give a damn about our SO, one is fully gay (so not interested ), another has straight out told him she hates him! Then there are a few others I guess that serve no other purpose other than sex. But I guess they are needed too. If your GF has a problem with Laureen or Laureen is in other ways jepordising your relationship than... I guess if she is unaware, then it is up to you and other parts who are aware to know what triggers her emergence and remain very vigilant and grounded, to block her from coming out. This can take a lot of hard work. On the other hand, if your GF doesn't have a problem with Laureen, then as hard as it is, and believe me I know it can be torturing.... you need to find a way to come to terms with her existence and even maybe be thankful for the role she fills. Idk if any of that helps... I'm a long winded rambler for sure! but I hope that somewhere in there is something useful for you.
__________________
Laureen WILL jump out, I am sure..

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
Hugs from:
scar12346
Thanks for this!
scar12346, ThisWayOut
  #3  
Old May 09, 2016, 05:35 PM
scar12346 scar12346 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: Bulgaria
Posts: 399
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods View Post
You can't kill lust. It is a base human hormonal reaction. I also have a hard time coping with my overall sexual parts. But as much as I find their behavior gross and disturbing, I know that they exist to fulfill and or try to work out our inyamacy issues. I know that I personally (bc of very legitimate reasons )am extremely uncomfortable with physical/ sexual intamacy and yes knowing and or finding evidence that these parts have been out leave me feeling embarrassed, ashamed, dirty, and sick (also a little jealous and inadequate), but I know that they are not trying to harm me but in fact protect me from facing stuff that would retraumatize me. And also preserving my relationship with my SO. Idk that's just me... How does Laureen make your GF feel? One of my sexual parts I know loves my SO as much as I do... it took us both a while I think to not be jealous of each other's relationship with our SO. Guess that's part of coming to terms with the fact that even though we are as different as night and day, somewhere deep down in our core we are both part of one full entity that wants to figure out how to become whole. I also know that other parts don't give a damn about our SO, one is fully gay (so not interested ), another has straight out told him she hates him! Then there are a few others I guess that serve no other purpose other than sex. But I guess they are needed too. If your GF has a problem with Laureen or Laureen is in other ways jepordising your relationship than... I guess if she is unaware, then it is up to you and other parts who are aware to know what triggers her emergence and remain very vigilant and grounded, to block her from coming out. This can take a lot of hard work. On the other hand, if your GF doesn't have a problem with Laureen, then as hard as it is, and believe me I know it can be torturing.... you need to find a way to come to terms with her existence and even maybe be thankful for the role she fills. Idk if any of that helps... I'm a long winded rambler for sure! but I hope that somewhere in there is something useful for you.
Ugh I wish I had a connection with her like you do. Laureen.. how do I explain Laureen. She is a non-emotional *****, the ****s around with people, is an alcoholic, is a cheating ****, and even though, yes right now I really don't think I am ready for another relationship because I just broke up with my previous girlfriend, Laureen left me "dating" someone I barely know, while me being in a very fragile place right now.
That is Laureen. She serves no purpose than to prove to people that, not even me, but the body, can be an asshole. And I purely despise her because of that.
I hate Laureen to the point of which I am ready to do ANYTHING but to let her be.
Let me tell you, I've never hated anyone more than myself.. Laureen is the first personality,human, object, animal or whatever else you can hate, that I hate more than myself. And believe me that hate purely out of the heart.
It's usually Waidth the one who is ready to smash someone's head because of hate, but this time it's me. I am seriously so over her. And nobody can block her out. The damn cockroach knows how to get control over the body because the whole system is a bit weak. I.. ugh. Sorry I am a rambler myself.
  #4  
Old May 09, 2016, 09:06 PM
Anonymous48690
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I'm sorry hom, you can't kill an alter because you will be "killing" part of yourself which can't happen.

I've put in special requests for Others to stay back and I would try my best to control the triggers that releases them. I've also wrestled for control and have one because we are all equal here. When one gets cocky...I have to knock them down a peg or two.

You can do it. Have your other Others help you restrain the unwanted one. We do that to the Angry One. I avoid the triggers and feelings of being wronged and hope the Others hold him down...and it does wotk. Him getting triggered is usually a surprise thing, but when I expect it, we can defend against it.

Good luck and have fun!
Hugs from:
scar12346
Thanks for this!
scar12346
  #5  
Old May 13, 2016, 06:31 PM
Lost_in_the_woods's Avatar
Lost_in_the_woods Lost_in_the_woods is offline
Grand Poohbah
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: Brokedown Palace
Posts: 1,625
Sounds like u gotta a Lotta hate for her... she must have a purpose or why would she exist? Idk. The way she acts sounds like bad news for sure probably has a PD. Most bad acts done by ppl w/ a PD is cuz they never got good lesdons. Sounds like she is very angry at the world. Hope you all can help her.
__________________
Laureen WILL jump out, I am sure..

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
Hugs from:
scar12346
Thanks for this!
scar12346
  #6  
Old May 14, 2016, 01:52 AM
Anonymous55906
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Wait, what is going on... I am so confused.. Who is Lust? Is this a split personality thing? Whats an alter?
  #7  
Old May 14, 2016, 03:12 AM
scar12346 scar12346 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: Bulgaria
Posts: 399
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sw48 View Post
Wait, what is going on... I am so confused.. Who is Lust? Is this a split personality thing? Whats an alter?
Lust is a ***** of a personality that I've had that usually stays in back and only comes out when she want to play. We now call her Laureen because it's more human like...
  #8  
Old May 14, 2016, 12:07 PM
Lost_in_the_woods's Avatar
Lost_in_the_woods Lost_in_the_woods is offline
Grand Poohbah
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: Brokedown Palace
Posts: 1,625
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sw48 View Post
Wait, what is going on... I am so confused.. Who is Lust? Is this a split personality thing? Whats an alter?
Hi, SW. "Lust" is a normal human emotion. Evolutionary terms it is what is called a base emotion, or reptilian brain function that serves to drive human reproduction. An "Alter" is term used in DID to refer to the personalities that can take control of the body. Since DID is mostly found to result from extreme early childhood trauma, often sexual abuse,when we are not yet solidified as a singular sense of self. So we dont know how to cope w/ the trauma and we are helpless to defend ourselves against it... so our emotions become compartmentalized in the most extreme way. We split off the memories and emotions to the farest corners of our minds, where they act indiviualaly, instead of whole, to protect us, help us function, and keep us from having to relive or reexperience the intal trauma/s. Or something like that... hope that helps u understand better
__________________
Laureen WILL jump out, I am sure..

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
Reply
Views: 831

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:39 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.