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#1
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So we have this very old alter called Laureen or Laurean.. whatever, it's to hide her real name Lust.. I hate her with passion. I have a date tomorrow. She doesn't know that I have DID, therefore she doesn't know that the reason why we are dating is because of Laureen's lust.
I am simply apathetic by the recent **** that has happened, and my date knows that. Gods and Goddesses know, I've been so cold to her, partially because she is not my girlfriend she is simply Laureen's toy. And now I am scared that if she turns up to kiss me (which because we were long distance will be our first) and Laureen has not gotten any action in months, she will jump out and ruin everything and I have to put a mask on, make a theatre out of it, and pretend like I am alive once again... How do you kill an alter for one night? Hmm maybe getting her get control, choking her and then switching out before we die? I don't know, give me suggestions... for how to kill a damn alter.. |
#2
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You can't kill lust. It is a base human hormonal reaction. I also have a hard time coping with my overall sexual parts. But as much as I find their behavior gross and disturbing, I know that they exist to fulfill and or try to work out our inyamacy issues. I know that I personally (bc of very legitimate reasons )am extremely uncomfortable with physical/ sexual intamacy and yes knowing and or finding evidence that these parts have been out leave me feeling embarrassed, ashamed, dirty, and sick (also a little jealous and inadequate), but I know that they are not trying to harm me but in fact protect me from facing stuff that would retraumatize me. And also preserving my relationship with my SO. Idk that's just me... How does Laureen make your GF feel? One of my sexual parts I know loves my SO as much as I do... it took us both a while I think to not be jealous of each other's relationship with our SO. Guess that's part of coming to terms with the fact that even though we are as different as night and day, somewhere deep down in our core we are both part of one full entity that wants to figure out how to become whole. I also know that other parts don't give a damn about our SO, one is fully gay (so not interested ), another has straight out told him she hates him! Then there are a few others I guess that serve no other purpose other than sex. But I guess they are needed too. If your GF has a problem with Laureen or Laureen is in other ways jepordising your relationship than... I guess if she is unaware, then it is up to you and other parts who are aware to know what triggers her emergence and remain very vigilant and grounded, to block her from coming out. This can take a lot of hard work. On the other hand, if your GF doesn't have a problem with Laureen, then as hard as it is, and believe me I know it can be torturing.... you need to find a way to come to terms with her existence and even maybe be thankful for the role she fills. Idk if any of that helps... I'm a long winded rambler for sure!
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#3
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Quote:
That is Laureen. She serves no purpose than to prove to people that, not even me, but the body, can be an asshole. And I purely despise her because of that. I hate Laureen to the point of which I am ready to do ANYTHING but to let her be. Let me tell you, I've never hated anyone more than myself.. Laureen is the first personality,human, object, animal or whatever else you can hate, that I hate more than myself. And believe me that hate purely out of the heart. It's usually Waidth the one who is ready to smash someone's head because of hate, but this time it's me. I am seriously so over her. And nobody can block her out. The damn cockroach knows how to get control over the body because the whole system is a bit weak. I.. ugh. Sorry I am a rambler myself. |
#4
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I'm sorry hom, you can't kill an alter because you will be "killing" part of yourself which can't happen.
I've put in special requests for Others to stay back and I would try my best to control the triggers that releases them. I've also wrestled for control and have one because we are all equal here. When one gets cocky...I have to knock them down a peg or two. You can do it. Have your other Others help you restrain the unwanted one. We do that to the Angry One. I avoid the triggers and feelings of being wronged and hope the Others hold him down...and it does wotk. Him getting triggered is usually a surprise thing, but when I expect it, we can defend against it. Good luck and have fun! ![]() |
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#5
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Sounds like u gotta a Lotta hate for her... she must have a purpose or why would she exist? Idk. The way she acts sounds like bad news for sure
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__________________
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep" |
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#6
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Wait, what is going on... I am so confused.. Who is Lust? Is this a split personality thing? Whats an alter?
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#7
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Lust is a ***** of a personality that I've had that usually stays in back and only comes out when she want to play. We now call her Laureen because it's more human like...
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#8
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Quote:
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__________________
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep" |
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