So many theories...

Hello! It’s a pleasure to see you all again.

I don’t know if you know me, but I haven’t been on this forum for a long time. Family, self-discovery, all that jazz. Never mind about all of that, though. I’ve already gone through that before and I’m just glad to be back and around.

Anywho. I have a question. This is something that’s bothered me for a long time, since I don’t quite know how serious it truly is. Dissociative Disorders are something that I have only a basic knowledge of. But according to what my friends have said, they asked me to go to this section of the forum and ask. So, here goes.

Levine has been with me for a long time. He’s an emotionally cold, calculating, and intelligent person. He only sees people as numbers and patterns, things to be experimented on and observed to heighten his level of awareness and knowledge. Yet, he only comes out when very specific things happen. Like when I look at the old journals that “he” wrote, or when very troubling situations come up. Like when I’m struggling emotionally over a person, he may swoop in and cut off any emotion I may be feeling at the time. But at the same time, he would view this people I care about as nothing more than trash, nuisances, burdens, and other hateful things.

I ran through many theories over the years as to what he could be. At first, I thought maybe this was some kind of part of me that I excluded from my usual persona, because I didn’t want that to be a part of me. I didn’t want to acknowledge that I could be that way. That or I thought he was simply a symptom of my depression, only coming out during my most dire of moments. I also thought that maybe he was just something I created in order to cope with social situations that I’m anxious about. In the end, I wasn’t sure about any of them.

Every time he comes out, it’s so difficult to get out of that state of mind. When he is me, I really have to struggle to be me again. Does that make sense?

In the end, I don't really know what's going on. This guy, Levine, suddenly came into my life and I just acted like it was natural. I saw nothing wrong with it when he first started coming out and acting as himself. I suppose, I wasn't really aware that he was around or that he was anything out of the ordinary until a couple years ago. That's when I noticed, that's when I saw that I would act completely different to my friends, family, and even myself. I would do completely different things and I would have a different world view. I would just switch suddenly to him whenever those journals or troubling situations came into play.

Any clarification would be wonderful. Thank you so much for reading!

Im sorry but we can not clarify things as they pertain directly to you and your problems. only your treatment providers (your doctor, therapist or psychiatrist) can do that for you.

what I can tell you is that in my location dissociation in general is the natural response (feeling spaced out, numb, disconnected...)to a trigger (something to make a person feel their dissociation symptoms)

from there dissociation in my location enters the dissociative disorders you will find located in my dissociative link at the bottom of my post,

what else I can tell you is that there are many normal, mental and physical health problems that can cause a person to have others living \residing with in.. some are due to medication problems,psychosis, and many other problems... even something as simple as not getting enough sleep can make a person have dissociation problems some to the extreme of feeling like they have someone residing with in...if you google your symptoms you will find there are literally millions upon millions of things this can be.

my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers. they can set you up with diagnostic testing that will tell you what "levine" is with in you and why.

So you are still concious and aware of whats going on around you when he is out correct? If you are and have always been co concious,with this other part then it is not a dissociative split. Dissociation Disorders are centered around a main symptom of time/memory loss/gaps. So if you are still always fully aware but trapped, then most likely not a dissociative alter. But only a trained professional can acureatly dx any condition. So i do suggest you talk to a pdoc or T about this. There are many reasons and conditions both physichal and psychological that could cause an extreme personality split. So without a professional pysch eval and posdibly medical tests as well to rule out any physical ailment that might be the cause...it is really impossible to narrow it down much. In the meantime if you need to talk about whats going on, this is a good place to find support and understanding Sorry this entity is causing you so much confusion and grief. please keep writing. We here can definately offer our experiences and what helps calm us when internal weirdness spills out into the world.

Blossominglen I did not recognize your user name so I checked out your profile and past posts... I saw that you were 16 years old, and a relatively recent with in the last 2 years) hospitalization for physical or mental problems, depression, hallucinations, social problems, anxiety... just to name a few things....

for many in my location that are teen agers (13-18 year olds) it is very common to have a two sided type of personality where the teen one moment is very caring, giving, people pleasing and on the other side of the coin switch into moods \feelings of total opposite like being rude, callous, cold, fixated, manipulative, no one is going to tell me what to do, isolating and all those negative things.

Im guessing since your doctors, therapists and what have you, have not diagnosed your problems as having DID or OSDD (the two dissociative disorders in America where a person can have dissociative type alters/identites) you can relax about this.

my suggestion is just continue on with your doctors have you on for diagnosis's and treatment plans.