[lucidity11]

just was asking myself "what do I care about?" I started to list.
I care about:
My Grandsons
My Son
My Sister
I realized I hadn't considered "myself"
So I asked me "do I care about myself?" And I don't know how to answer that. I care that my body is well, I care that everyone is functioning as well as they can, I care if some are suffering, but I "care about myself" is unknown to me. I suppose collective I can say yes but I feel intellectually and emotionally disconnected from that concept.
I think we all agree that right now we all feel tired, drained, an no resolve in sight. I have to figure out how to get back to being strong. I think having so many of us who are strong in their own way isn't enough for us to function. To make decisions. To feel life. I can count the times when I actually felt the feeling of joy and true happiness. Is this the same for people without DID? Maybe I expect too much from feeling.

Good point.

You know, everyone Other of us has a different opinion, job, and focus. For some it's not their job to worry of such thing about the body is why we are in sad shape, over weight, toothless, and God knows what else. That's because the guys were always out doing their thing trying to be macho man and it's us fems that care about the body but weren't aloud to do our job until of late. We are trying to repair the damage done buy them careless idiots.

Now we shave everyday, defur, moisturize, clean up, exfoliate, take our pills, and making future body plans, do our nails daily, brush... The workers don't care because all they are is to work. It's disgusting.

This has always been a crappy thing about being fragmented- there is never a balance of chores, always single mindedness and locked in a focus. We switch tracks constantly- even for the littlest minute task, sigh.

So I wouldn't be to down about things because each personality on it's own hold different traits and jobs, someone has it.

You do sound depressed...I'm sorry. Sometimes I get like that even though I've upped my dose of A.D. The only thing that I can figure is that a sad ones emotion is bleeding through strong because getting sad is something that I can't get.

[just2b]

I am in the same boat as you. I am too disconnected from feelings, and it is always a intellectual thing I can say yes I feel this or that but really the actual emotion is not there. I do care about my kids and I do love them and act as one loves them, but sometimes I question...is it really me as I am known to be unemotional.sometimes I think a part takes over the love feelings for them. As I have a hard time with all feelings for anyone or anything. I recently quite school after trying hard to get in, did a spring semester, and dropped out of the mini semester for summer. How do I feel about it my T asks? I don't know. I guess it's fine. Still not sure. ...

Originally Posted by lucidity11

just was asking myself "what do I care about?" I started to list.
I care about:
My Grandsons
My Son
My Sister
I realized I hadn't considered "myself"
So I asked me "do I care about myself?" And I don't know how to answer that. I care that my body is well, I care that everyone is functioning as well as they can, I care if some are suffering, but I "care about myself" is unknown to me. I suppose collective I can say yes but I feel intellectually and emotionally disconnected from that concept.
I think we all agree that right now we all feel tired, drained, an no resolve in sight. I have to figure out how to get back to being strong. I think having so many of us who are strong in their own way isn't enough for us to function. To make decisions. To feel life. I can count the times when I actually felt the feeling of joy and true happiness. Is this the same for people without DID? Maybe I expect too much from feeling.

isn't it a good question though, and it really makes you think what you have (or havon't) in your life

i can't personally think of anything i care about.. family no- they don't exist to me

friends- i don't have any

my body- just screwed over and ugly

myself- certainly not.

i thought about, " well i care about music", but that's diffrent.. i love music, but you can't really care about it

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

isn't it a good question though, and it really makes you think what you have (or havon't) in your life

i can't personally think of anything i care about.. family no- they don't exist to me

friends- i don't have any

my body- just screwed over and ugly

myself- certainly not.

i thought about, " well i care about music", but that's diffrent.. i love music, but you can't really care about it

There are people who live for music, their life is music, so I think you can care about it.

Originally Posted by lucidity11

There are people who live for music, their life is music, so I think you can care about it.

true.. but you can't give it a hug, or tell it you love it, or touch it (unless of course it's an instrament) but even they don't really have emotions