[TrailRunner14]

Hi. I've been quiet for a bit. There has been a lot going on. Some has been good. Some has rocked me.

I hope everyone is good. I've been hanging and reading. Just didn't feel like saying much.

Your opinion, to me, would be very valued.

Last Monday I met with my counselor. He usually dresses in very calming colors. Soft colored plaid shirts and khaki pants. Never really thought about it. This past Monday he was wearing a long sleeve red/burgundy shirt and black pants. It didn't really register with me at the time but the session time we had was very strained. I knew that I didn't feel like I was making sense in what I was saying, but I don't think I was completely there.

I got home and was trying to sort out what was wrong. I just kept feeling stupid because I didn't think I had made any sense.

When I think back on my time with him, all I can see is the red shirt and black pants. It's really disturbing me and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I don't understand it.

Can anyone else relate?

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[Luce]

Sorry you've been having a hard time.
It always helps me when I can identify the thing that was the trigger. The next part is figuring out why that thing triggered the things that it did.
Something was obviously disturbing you about the clothes / color combination. When working out why something has triggered stuff for me journaling about it can help, also asking questions inside and seeing what comes up.

A few hours ago I went through the figuring out process about something that was triggered this week for me. Different ones journaled their parts in it and then I was able to put it together a bit. It helped. I don't feel triggered anymore. For now at least.

I kinda feel that every time something gets triggered and worked out I claim back a tiny bit more of myself.
I hope that's how it works, anyway.

Good luck.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

Hi. I've been quiet for a bit. There has been a lot going on. Some has been good. Some has rocked me.

I hope everyone is good. I've been hanging and reading. Just didn't feel like saying much.

Your opinion, to me, would be very valued.

Last Monday I met with my counselor. He usually dresses in very calming colors. Soft colored plaid shirts and khaki pants. Never really thought about it. This past Monday he was wearing a long sleeve red/burgundy shirt and black pants. It didn't really register with me at the time but the session time we had was very strained. I knew that I didn't feel like I was making sense in what I was saying, but I don't think I was completely there.

I got home and was trying to sort out what was wrong. I just kept feeling stupid because I didn't think I had made any sense.

When I think back on my time with him, all I can see is the red shirt and black pants. It's really disturbing me and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I don't understand it.

Can anyone else relate?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

before I was integrated colors did not trigger me. this was because anything the least bit triggering I would dissociate and an alter would take control to handle that trigger. I was able to continue to live my life with out knowing and reacting to colors in any negative ways. that said after integration i found the wearing certain clothing items or being around certain smells and mens clothing was something to cause a moment of panic, anxiety. then i would use the breathing and other grounding techniques I learned in therapy to reground and no longer be anxious.

I have noticed people wearing long sleeves and long pants even though its summer, but that doesnt bother me considering America now has to deal with a virus carried by mosquitoes called Zika virus. people are just taking care of their self and doing what the center for disease control and some city and town officials says to do...wear long sleeves and long pants when outdoors to prevent mosquito bites.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Luce

Sorry you've been having a hard time.
It always helps me when I can identify the thing that was the trigger. The next part is figuring out why that thing triggered the things that it did.
Something was obviously disturbing you about the clothes / color combination. When working out why something has triggered stuff for me journaling about it can help, also asking questions inside and seeing what comes up.

A few hours ago I went through the figuring out process about something that was triggered this week for me. Different ones journaled their parts in it and then I was able to put it together a bit. It helped. I don't feel triggered anymore. For now at least.

I kinda feel that every time something gets triggered and worked out I claim back a tiny bit more of myself.
I hope that's how it works, anyway.

Good luck.

Thank you Luce. It's been stressing me and disturbing me at the same time. I have been running from it. Journaling and listening makes complete sense.

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[Luce]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

Thank you Luce. It's been stressing me and disturbing me at the same time. I have been running from it. Journaling and listening makes complete sense.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That is good info for you to be aware of. Your t wearing red and black clothing stressed and disturbed you to the point of wanting to run away from it.

Maybe that is enough for today. Journaling and listening doesn't have to come yet if you are not ready for it. It is obviously something that distresses you / the system, and it is okay to go slowly to honor yourselves.

tread lightly, o trailrunning one.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Luce

That is good info for you to be aware of. Your t wearing red and black clothing stressed and disturbed you to the point of wanting to run away from it.


Maybe that is enough for today. Journaling and listening doesn't have to come yet if you are not ready for it. It is obviously something that distresses you / the system, and it is okay to go slowly to honor yourselves.


tread lightly, o trailrunning one.

Thank you. Friend. Your words mean much truth and comfort. Can't explain.

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we journal too.

and yes like luce said, it helps

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

Hi. I've been quiet for a bit. There has been a lot going on. Some has been good. Some has rocked me.

I hope everyone is good. I've been hanging and reading. Just didn't feel like saying much.

Your opinion, to me, would be very valued.

Last Monday I met with my counselor. He usually dresses in very calming colors. Soft colored plaid shirts and khaki pants. Never really thought about it. This past Monday he was wearing a long sleeve red/burgundy shirt and black pants. It didn't really register with me at the time but the session time we had was very strained. I knew that I didn't feel like I was making sense in what I was saying, but I don't think I was completely there.

I got home and was trying to sort out what was wrong. I just kept feeling stupid because I didn't think I had made any sense.

When I think back on my time with him, all I can see is the red shirt and black pants. It's really disturbing me and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I don't understand it.

Can anyone else relate?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Colors can be very triggering for us, depending on the color and which part would consider it as their favorite, like girl colors would evoke the fems and boy colors....well, they really don't care all that much. I just try to tune any trigger out of my head by averting the eyes once I realized what's causing it. Usually once I know what the trigger is, I can work around it- doesn't mean that it's gone till next time, but I'm better aware.

Another thing, if you feel this way again in a meeting, bring it up and see if it can be worked out there on the spot now that you know the feeling. Good luck.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

before I was integrated colors did not trigger me. this was because anything the least bit triggering I would dissociate and an alter would take control to handle that trigger. I was able to continue to live my life with out knowing and reacting to colors in any negative ways. that said after integration i found the wearing certain clothing items or being around certain smells and mens clothing was something to cause a moment of panic, anxiety. then i would use the breathing and other grounding techniques I learned in therapy to reground and no longer be anxious.

I have noticed people wearing long sleeves and long pants even though its summer, but that doesnt bother me considering America now has to deal with a virus carried by mosquitoes called Zika virus. people are just taking care of their self and doing what the center for disease control and some city and town officials says to do...wear long sleeves and long pants when outdoors to prevent mosquito bites.

Omg! on the Zika thing. I'm here in the gulf states and its bloody sweating hot! And I love wearing shorts with sandals.

I'm just going to bathe in Deet. Besides, mosquitoes bite right through clothing anyways. It's more a chemical warfare kind of thing.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

before I was integrated colors did not trigger me. this was because anything the least bit triggering I would dissociate and an alter would take control to handle that trigger. I was able to continue to live my life with out knowing and reacting to colors in any negative ways. that said after integration i found the wearing certain clothing items or being around certain smells and mens clothing was something to cause a moment of panic, anxiety. then i would use the breathing and other grounding techniques I learned in therapy to reground and no longer be anxious.


I have noticed people wearing long sleeves and long pants even though its summer, but that doesnt bother me considering America now has to deal with a virus carried by mosquitoes called Zika virus. people are just taking care of their self and doing what the center for disease control and some city and town officials says to do...wear long sleeves and long pants when outdoors to prevent mosquito bites.

Thank you! I have noticed that things trigger me now that I don't remember having issues with before. It's been on my mind and what you describe about your experience of reacting to triggers and staying present - that is speaking truth to me. Maybe that is going on with me now. That makes so much sense!!

I'm going to try and sit with my journal today and write what comes.

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[finding_my_way]

maybe not the same kind of thing, but i used to watch a lot of scary movies..i have no idea 'how' since now i can't..i suspect it was more related to a mix of others maybe..but anyway, there are certain colors from one particular scary movie that the main character wore. if i see those two specific colors together, it creates anxiety and fear. so for me, some things aren't related to a traumatic event and can be related to things seen in movies or on TV, etc. that were unsettling/scary from years ago. it can help to have links to things like that or else i would be analyzing things to try to figure it out but most likely would have nothing to link to since i don't have a very good memory surrounding trauma events and timelines and putting pieces together.

it is the same kind of thing when certain topics or things are said. it triggers reactions that confuse me because i don't 100% know why it's a trigger, just that it causes feelings of discomfort, anxiety, and fear.

[Shaly78]

Take a chance, that color does nothing for you I much rather see you in such and such color. Also you can say I like that assortment of colors it is very becoming could also work lol just to be light hearted with it.

[TrailRunner14]

It feels to be related to something that I'm not really sure of just yet.

I'm much more a neutral color person all around. The colors of outside calm me. Green, tan, gray and neutral blues. Red disturbs me as do looking at too many colors and patterns at one time.

Thinking back on my reaction to my counselor, in those colors it felt almost threatening and I hear the word "authoritative" and the confusion of not being able to fit my thoughts into words. It felt like there was too much information in my brain.

Trying to connect that to those colors.

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