We haven't been freaking out much anymore (each of us) now that it's sunken in deeper and deeper everyday.

Some of the Others took this conscious awareness thing a little to hard as most got to witness....you'd almost say it was psychotic! Lol....

Anyhow, having an actual 9-5 job has put us into a routine that in its-self stabilized our living. Sure we are still very switchy, but more with a purpose now.

The past year it was like WAKE UP!!! out of a coma to find that you ARE real!- "Hello me....whats's your name??"... Lol

We all feel trapped by circumstance, now. We have a job that manages to pay all the bills, but the insurance doesn't cover much of anything, like hospital, behavorial, or addiction services.

To get the help that we need....we have to lose our job and go poverty and struggle, but we can't do that while we still have our teenager in the house. Oh yeah, our partner is long gone.

So...we feel lost in limbo.

All we can do is play the waiting game like we've always done I suppose.

Anyways, it feels good to be at peace with something.

[magicalprince]

It's sad that you feel trapped but it's good that you feel at peace.

It's a good thing that at least right now you can pay all the bills. Be proud of yourself! You are doing the best you can right now.

[elevatedsoul]

how long were you all married?

i cant imagine having a full time job and trying to deal with things...
much less a family and all..
so i think you are awesome

i cant work personally because of stuff... even though i would like to, wish i could, and stuff... make me feel more like a man if i could, but its one of those things i guess
one day we all hope to reach the point of acceptance both inward and outward <3

you guys are awesome

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

how long were you all married?

i cant imagine having a full time job and trying to deal with things...
much less a family and all..
so i think you are awesome

i cant work personally because of stuff... even though i would like to, wish i could, and stuff... make me feel more like a man if i could, but its one of those things i guess
one day we all hope to reach the point of acceptance both inward and outward <3

you guys are awesome

Thanks- having a full time job is helping hold us together....we aren't sitting around thinking about this all the time, more like a distraction that pays.

The over all system feel is acceptance....some more than others or not so munch...but we are getting used to it.

Sure we are constantly reminded moment to moment, but it enforces co-operation.

The type of job makes a difference. I'm a carpenter in an old apartment complex, so they give me keys, van, and a to do list. I work by myself alone all day- if it weren't for this I couldn't handle it. Me and my radio to drown out the head chatter

When I wasn't working, we were driving ourselves crazy.

It's been an 8 year partnership, in which we split all the bills....it was more like I married a roommate. :/

I just have to hold my breath for a year and hopefully stir no waves. Funny how fast a year flies by...with all the blank spaces in between.